do you have one?

infinite?? i thought it was just 52!

Domino ... yeah, right.

Kiera Knightley can't handle a gun

words

tsk. if you let it go, you're teaching the wrong thing; if you don't, you break a child's heart.

apple envy

douchebags 2007

There is an upside to Paris

Hilton, that is. Word is, Barron Hilton, patriarch of the Hilton family, has been so embarrassed by his granddaughter's antics, that he decided to give 97% of his fortune to charity on his passing. To clean up the family name, no doubt.

I believe future beneficiaries of Hilton's philanthropy owe Paris a debt of gratitude. And no, you dont have to boink her to show your appreciation.

Dear Benny

Sincerely yours, Mahmoud.

Ahhhhh... tis indeed the season

Love, peace, and all that, reigns in this season of brotherhood, especially among those who chose to follow the path of Christ and the apostles.

try to see em all before 2007 runs out

i've seen this stupid behavior before

In which we ask the question...

What the hell happened to you, Mike?

A teaser for the upcoming 25th anniversary of quite possibly the greatest pop album ever.

better than blind arnis

300 part 2

don't forget to watch the 2nd installment of 300.

blind arnis

pfffshhh. really?

not to mention hackers on the plane.

Kodakan

I had 2 cameras stolen in 2007: my Olympus FE100 digicam and my OM2n. Long story. I loved the super-macro function of the relatively low-tech 4 megapixel FE100 which was a bit quirky at times -- the software sometimes focused on the wrong thing -- but when it's on, it's on. I had lots of plans for the OM2n: buying it a new flash, a wide-angle lens, and a 135 mm lens but that's over now. I hope it found a new owner who knows how to use it.

What I have left are my Olympus XA2 which is in its final stages of usefulness since its shutter is starting to go, and a previously owned Canon IXY 450 4 megapixel digital camera. Four megapixels is more than enough for decent photos. According to professional photographer Ken Rockwell, a 3 MP camera pretty much looks the same as a 6 MP camera, even when blown up to 12 x 18. All those megapixels camera companies are dumping onto their cameras are just a ploy to make the average consumer think that theyre getting a better camera, and so charge them more. For the average photographer who won't plan on getting prints larger than A4 size, 4 megapixels is plenty. More isnt better.

Here are a few pictures I took with my clunkers. Happy New Year.

geez. they really have a problem.

from the zeros ...

... and Mindy Vega ...


happy holidays to all!!!

t'was the dark knight before xmas

moral guardians, my ass

make your own list

the A-Holes of 2007

bye bye Borat

deer hunter

well, well, its a two-way street.

good news for soon-to-be 40 year old virgins!

why video games should be played only when you're 30

that's what they say every year ...

2008 movies

my own list to watch out for:
Be Kind Rewind
Burn After Reading
The Changeling (Straczynski!!)
Cloverfield
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight (hell, yeah)
Fanboys (might be much interesting than Episodes 2 or 3)
Get Smart (Steve Carell? Anne Hathaway? ok!)
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (well, why not)
The Incredible Hulk (double hell, yeah)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (hell, yeah)
The International
Iron Man (triple hell, yeah)
James Bond 22 (back to hell, yeah)
Kung Fu Panda
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Brendan Fraser's only career)
Pineapple Express (stoners? ok!)
RocknRolla (should we still give Mr. Madonna a chance?)
Son of Rambow (intriguing)
Speed Racer
Star Trek XI (not a Trekkie but this is JJ Abrams)
Valkyrie (despite Tommy Girl)
Vantage Point (trailer is already excellent)
Wall-E (hey, its Pixar)
Wanted (holy shit! they made it! i'm just not sure of the director)
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (pffssshhhh)

not that it means i'll get to watch them but i'll try nyhahahaha!

Showdown!!

Who ya got?

it's black, it's white

so now Jacko has a legit excuse?!?!

Holy crap!!

Bloke blows everybody away.

Signore Pavarotti, you may rest in peace. We just might have the fella who will take your place. And he's a mobile phone salesman from South Wales.

(And what is it with Nessun Dorma that stirs emotions in people that can't even speak Italian?)

i guess the guards never watched The Shawshank Redemption.

conned hair

Steve Buscemi, is that you?

bullet time

they just got the Matrix Trilogy boxed set DVD last week.

who would you do?

oh yeah?

wusses who would own you

the irony!

start googling

what's new pussy cat?

kimchis playing God.

drug dealers vs geeks

Yep, Christmas spirit allright...

Bah, humbug.

Muslim kid saves Jewish kids from beating by thugs in the Christmas mood.

He was mystified as to why the men became so outraged when the women
and their male friends wished them a "Happy Chanukah" while they were
yelling "Merry Christmas" on the train car.

Well, it's Jesus' birthday so we celebrate it the best way we can. By beating up Jews and Muslims. Halleluiah! You want some? Come git some!

"That a random Muslim kid helped some Jewish kids, that's what's
positive about New York," said Adler, 23, who suffered a broken nose
and required four stitches to close a lip wound.

well, duh.

for those who can't hold their alcohol

oh shit.

the hot and the lame, 2007

shhhh ... Papa Joe made me do this

pfsh! our starlets back home do this all the time, especially either at the onset or stalling of their careers.

what drinking problem??

now that's customer service.

Gesundheit?

Or is "May you rest in peace" more appropriate?

Be careful out there. This is serious shit.

Gilbert alerted state health officials, a decision that led
investigators to realize that a new, apparently more virulent form of a
virus that usually causes nothing worse than a nasty cold was
circulating around the United States. At least 1,035 Americans in four
states have been infected so far this year by the virus, known as an
adenovirus. Dozens have been hospitalized, many requiring intensive
care, and at least 10 have died.

please read; its some funny shit.

why i got fired

now if we could just tie Cheney to this ....

According to Leonardo...

... God looks like that alien in Predator

Da Vinci code

It seems that Leonardo's secret is really the fact that he's, no, not gay, that's not a secret, but his secret is really the fact that he's... an Arab.

Professor Luigi Capasso, an anthropologist who led the team, said the
central whorl of the [Leo's] fingerprint was a common pattern in the Middle
East.

"Around 60 per cent of the Middle Eastern population have the same structure," he said.

What a twist this puts in the whole Priory of Sion thing if Leonardo were really a Semite (Arab or Hebrew)! I can see Dan Brown frantically taking notes for a sequel. (And Dan? Da Vinci isnt his family name. So technically, The Da Vinci Code is a stupid title. Every person born in Vinci at the time can call himself da Vinci. So if it isnt too late, call the sequel The Leonardo Code. Ok?)

An Office

forget The Office, watch An Office instead.

what can you do about the inflation?

yep. yep. yep.

your grandson will be Wolverine

classy insults ... use 'em.

Star Wars tattoos

nonsensical pics

a water dress on Leo's ex.

start drooling

only question is if we're still alive when they're available.

downward spiral

the world is getting ... i dont know, my iPhone is ringing.

no offense but ... dumbass.

what., me worry?

KITT

foundation for law and government.

NSFWii

time bandit will abandon his xbox in a nanosecond (NSFW)

ouch

a film review

Raising kids

I totally agree with this Scientific American article. Parents who keep harping on how special their kids are almost always end up raising obnoxious kids.

Scholars

You just can't trust them. Looks like the National Geographic has been taking... liberties... with their scholars' translation of the so-called Gospel of Judas. Tut-tut. [wags finger]

Several of the translation choices made by the society’s scholars fall
well outside the commonly accepted practices in the field. For example,
in one instance the National Geographic transcription refers to Judas
as a “daimon,” which the society’s experts have translated as “spirit.”
Actually, the universally accepted word for “spirit” is “pneuma ” — in
Gnostic literature “daimon” is always taken to mean “demon.”

Stay together and save the planet...

... or in other words, HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Scientists have quantified for the first time the extent to which divorce damages the environment. The researchers found that the combined use of electricity across the two new households created rose 53% while water use was up by 42%.

This is serious research, folks.

And in the You Just Can't Win department, banning smoking in pubs and restaurants will one day kill us all.

Pubs are likely to pump hundreds of thousands of tons
of additional carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as a result of the
smoking ban.Policy advisers predict that
emissions from patio heaters in pubs and restaurants will increase from
22,200 tons of greenhouse gases a year to up to 282,000 tons - the
equivalent of flying a jumbo jet 171 times around the Earth.

Rudy should have just stayed home

your ass is theirs

that's it ... Jack Bauer- and Sam Fisher-types will kidnap you in the dead of night, even if you're vacationing in Phuket or sleeping in Puerto Galera, if you are wanted for crimes in the U.S. i don't think they limit their scope to Brits.

time bandit will live to be 100.

27 gaming myths

criminals

who to blame for this evil

somebody would have invented banks anyway

i wonder where this kid is now

pink

Pink it's my new obsession
Pink it's not even a question,
Pink on the lips of your lover, 'cause
Pink is the love you discover

cooking with what?

an ish moment

the hottest women in tech

nothing in an iPhone

sounds familiar

read this book's synopsis.

Now this, on the other hand...

... is my idea of science. Some surfer dude has written a paper on a possible 'Theory of Everything' that eluded Einstein. The current candidate is string theory, which is just story telling with lots of math. The theory isnt testable. This new guy's theory though, is.

So far, the interactions predicted by the complex geometrical
relationships inside E8 match with observations in the real world. And
it could be possible to test predictions. "How cool is that?" he says.

Dude, seriously

I thought you guys were just being facetious, and I was ready to laugh along but it turns out you were serious.

Parallel universes really do exist, according to a mathematical
discovery by Oxford scientists that sweeps away one of the key
objections to the mind boggling and controversial idea.

Mathematics aint reality. In math, you can divide a pizza into smaller and smaller slices: 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/16, ... 1/n, where n is some infinitely large number, the pizza slice getting smaller and smaller and approaches zero. Try doing that to a real pizza. You'll reach a pizza that is one 'pizza atom' thin (assuming that you can get a knife less than a 'pizza atom' thin), and guess what happens when you slice that? Youll release energy in the nucleus and you won't be able to divide it anymore because it'll be all over the place.

telltale signs you're an A**hole.

huh. but do they have good management?

#10 is all you need to know

right before her wedding too

green reaction

Kermit reacts to a previous post (NSFW) ... say goodbye to your childhood (if there's anything left).

Are you ready for some hot girl-on-girl action?

Not me.

One claimed that Hillary Clinton was having a lesbian affair with Huma Abedin,
her beautiful aide.

add a stabbing and it'll be complete

who's that girl?

not-funnybooks

sounds like someone won't be getting the concluding issue of Y The Last Man (which is not to be confused with Will Smith's I Am Legend).

now, maybe this just might convince me (NSFW)

r-r-r-iiiight.

HAHAHAHA!!

These scientists...They invented a Boogeyman and now theyre scared of their imaginary creature.

Astronomers may have unwittingly hastened the end of the universe by simply looking at it, according to a new theory.

You have to read the whole thing--it aint long. Suffice it to say that today's science sounds more and more like story-telling. For one thing, Dark Energy (capitalized for effect) doesnt exist in any observable form. It just exists in a mathematical equation. It's just something added to an equation so that it'll come out right, a scientist's way of saying, "I have no idea what's going on, but this'll look good on my resumé. And look! I even have the math."

Im not knocking Math, but scientists and other technocrats--that includes you, economists--seem to confuse math with reality, and story-telling with science.

meditate like a geek

how to get things done

ahoy!

high tech vs illegals

just to catch what the border guards might miss

what's new, pussy cat?

woah! woah! woah!

deceptive article!!

Guess who has...

...machine-gun boobs!

if you can't beat 'em ...

shave your head and be like Bruce Willis (after he kicked your ass in his last movie)

Yeah, yeah, so it's a marketing ploy

The geek's version of Oprah's favorite things.

i'd go for Jessica Biel

if anybody has a copy, send it to me.

this only means: Upgrade the iPhones! Now!

just remove the celibacy vow, dammit

good luck with that

Why Serendipity is a romantic place

the secret of the popular sweet spot is finally discovered!

JLA Casting Call

oh shit ... this film is for the Olsen Twins demographic. Olsen Twin Powers Activate! Super Mega BARF!

a Jersey city is always on the list

the dangers of WOW

write your own list!

hazard

so even if i did drive in the Apple, i'd still be in danger from all these morons.

Get your gear on

legs in the air

Fox News Porn

2 Girls .. 1 cup

have you seen this shit!??!?!?!

GWWWWWAAAARKKKKKKK!!!

for frequent cemetery visits

when your significant other passes away, here's what you can do.

pinnacle of humanity

yeah, i mean why should we be delayed, because of one geezer who forgot to breathe eh?

move over, Bionic Woman!

... or maybe just Fantasia.

but i like Green Lantern!

busted (slightly NSFW)

Space race

China introduced taikonaut; now brace yourself for... kimchinaut!

PS3 is for the desperate

twinky

2 things to learn here: don't lie about emergencies, and choose your costume wisely.

your toy just got famous

must ... sue ... you

in the spirit of being threatened with a lawsuit, here's a dead-on article about the suit-happy mentality in this country.

must ... have ... gun

US Supreme Court may re-examine 2nd Amendment.

Washington, which is also home to the president and the government, has interpreted the amendment to mean that there is a collective right to bear arms for those who are part of a police force or a security force.

But since 1976, it has banned residents from carrying handguns, although they are allowed to keep a rifle or hunting gun in their homes, providing it is locked and not loaded.

For millions of Americans though, and especially the powerful gun lobby represented by the National Rifle Association, the second amendment guarantees the right of every American citizen to own any gun, with few limits.

wow. if the SC suddenly decides to amend the Amendment (with Supervisor Release), would we expect a nutcase to sneak inside the SC Building, gunning down most of the Justices before security officers stop him? sounds like a plot for the NRA and Hollywood! wooooohoooooo! call Tom "Looney Tune" Cruise! he needs a career right about now!!

go play outside

your TV Show Deathwatch

since Battlestar Galactica has not been updated yet, this only means there will be no more episodes, leaving everything in a cliffhanger until the strike is done, and almost of all of the cast will slowly migrate to Bionic Woman (in episodes that may not be filmed either). nyahahahahaha!

Nah.

"It is already known that curvaceous women live longer and that men find them more attractive but the new research suggests that they are also cleverer."

The article says scientists found out that men's attraction to women with curves is based on something more than physical. These science geeks really need to get out more. But to clue them in: Yes, it's based on something purely physical. That Omega-3 finding is pure crap. We dont take a sample of the fat from a women's thighs before we are attracted to them.

Jocks are stupid

ESPN reporter Rob Stone shows us how manly he is by taking a bite off the Naga Jolokia, the hottest damn chili in the world.



"I aint afraid of no chili pepper," he says.

strange Jap inventions

let rowdy kids beware

coming soon to Disneyland

i'm mailing in my application right now

wait ... i'm dirt poor. dammit.

they forgot the Hathaway

5 hottest real life lesbos

not just to help women

batman update

The future is shit

And soon America will invade Argentina because it has cows.

Guess who's back

Boredom is a bitch. All that free time tending the garden could get to you. The megamillion buck salary helps too.

That's my breakfast this morning

Except for the avocado. Maybe I'll add that if I can find one. I had tomatoes instead.

I feel healthy
Oh so healthy
I feel healthy and wealthy and wise
La la laaa

you can't just get a free DVD ...

... just because you starred in it.

drunk girls

PlayStation is evil

Boy hires hitman to off parents

at least we did it in inside classrooms

college entrance exam in Kabul

american parenting

start 'em young

more of your favorite teachers.

the Arabian Dr. Phil

oh, wait ... this is from Fox News.

they actually hold contests for this?

somewhere beyond the sea...

good thing our friend is not like this ... or is he??

night of the dead

i knew it. New Jersey residents are sickos.

TURN THE DAMN THING OFF!!!

you don't know the power of the Dark Side

well, check your audio!

well, cancel my reservations then. bah!

Now he tells me...

... after Ive thrown away the turntable.

One more thing vinyl has over CDs? The larger size helps you appreciate the album artwork more.

PS3 you can afford

Time's top 25 horror movies

i ordered this for your Halloween party

products from hell

BAFTA game awards

sorry, no awards for Playstation 3.

can't wait for Bioshock 2.

horror movie guide for gamers

politician of the year.

Ken joins Team America (NSFW)

drive your own car, dammit!

for our zombie-killer friend

Don't try googling Chuck Norris?

You don't believe me? Try it, tough guy. It was nice knowing you.

HAHAHAHAHA!!

Please, stop! HAHAHAHA... I can't take any more of this.. HAHAHA... my stomach hurts. HAHAHA-fuckin'-HA!

Blackout — a collection of well-produced, thoroughly enjoyable dance songs — may just put this once-celebrated pop star back on top.

creepy!

more news about your gay mentor!

The Puppetmaster is at work

With your tax dollars.

The U.S. has been arming, training, funding and coordinating security with known terrorists, including much of the senior leadership of the most active Palestinian terrorist organization, charges a new book.

HAHAHAHA!!!

Excuse me but... HAHA-fucking-HA!!

Scientists a step closer to steering hurricanes

So says a breathless headline from UK's Telegraph newspaper. The science nerds say they can steer hurricanes away from major cities. Nice. Steer them into what? Minor cities? Look I think your enthusiasm is inspiring but a typhoon or hurricane is a very complex thing. Havent you heard of the Butterfly effect? You can't account for all aspects of a hurricane much less control it. Methinks youre confusing your computer models for real life.

But let's say the science is sound. You sprinkle tire dust on the hurricane and have orbiting satellites blast it with death rays from space to heat it up and weaken the hurricane. First of all, this death ray thing isnt cheap. Youll have to fund it using taxpayer money that can be better used elsewehere. Second of all, you think countries like China, or Russia, or some other aspiring superpower would say, 'Sure, go right ahead and place that microwave deathray machine in orbit'? Fat chance of that happening. The thing will lead to an arms race.

Not thought through, I must say. Entertaining, but it's bollocks.

Choke!!

After England's defeat at the hands of the Springbok's in the Rugby World Cup, they were desperate to have something to celebrate. Alas, Lewis Hamilton chokes. Raikkonen wins F1 title.

be glad you were not named ...

monkey shines

We are number one!! Numero Uno!!

gringo pansies..

bollocks.

your mentor is gay!

your brother germs

wow. too bad this can't be made into a Hollywood summer blockbuster ... or can it? or have they already?

an issue that keeps these nerds up at night, sweating bullets.

say, isn't this the plot of Die Hard 4?

Caught up in the Rapture

Kill em all NOW!

Didnt you see Terminator? We better destroy these muthfuckers now before it's too late!

Dick Tracy... Dick Tracy.. where are you?

Korea... the next japan?

tamada!!

I... am.... John..... Rambo.

Rambo comes back..

meh.

gays in the army will now carry especially designed guns.

perpetuate the ignominy

Transpormas

aliens discovered in the philippines!

Can you revoke a Nobel prize?

James Watson has always been an asshole. This shit proves it.

One of the world's most eminent scientists was embroiled in an
extraordinary row last night after he claimed that black people were
less intelligent than white people and the idea that "equal powers of
reason" were shared across racial groups was a delusion.

First of all, Jim, there are a lot of factors that determine intelligence. And there are different kinds of intelligence. The trouble with you scientists is that youre always trying to reduce the irreducible to what you think is the most basic component, in this case, the gene. What about poverty? Malnutrition? Corruption in governments such that not enough resources are spent on education? And what do you think about Asians? Are we inferior to you Westerners, too?

What a crock of pseudoscience.

perfecting the Coulter bitch

talking to bobbleheads may soon be a thing of the past.

its their party

and they'll watch what they want too.

my next PC!

all this to get into Harvard

Europe Spring Break..... WTF?

goddamn it.

super NSFW... watch on your own discretion.

not responsible if you get your arse fired .. ya wankers.

mein gott!!

peace in our time. not.

here's a thought ... Gore takes his gas-guzzling plane and flies it straight into Fox News HQ. howaboutdat???

the AXE effect

Tell em, Tony

Rachael Ray is evil.

“She's hugely influential, particularly with children. And she's endorsing Dunkin’ Donuts. It's like endorsing crack for kids.”

mickey mice

"my soda is better than your soda!"

great! now i can quit my job!

go where you wanna go

shop, you gadget freaks.

Walmart is a country

how assholes get shot

so we're in the right place, hwahahaha!

The iPod Nano is hot.

Hotter than you think.

master cheif celebrates his victory

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Say what??

An executive for a recording industry leader has told a court that consumers do not have the right to copy the music they purchase onto a PC as a backup.

Now this is the kind of statement that won't win you mega-corporations any fans. Sure I get it. We don't own the music we purchase. What we own is a license to play it. Yada yada yada. We get it. But to dictate to us how we play it, arent we being a tad dictatorial, Ms. Pariser? I bought the CD. I dont bring a CD player with me everywhere. I bring an iPod, or a laptop. And youre telling me I can't make a copy of the music I bought to play when and where I please? Screw you. It's lameass statements like that that drive us to stop buying your music. Aside from the fact that your music sucks.

one more reason to really hate the French

More blood for oil

And the beat goes on.

"They are funding the dictatorship," said Marco Simons, U.S. legal
director at EarthRights International, an environmental and human
rights group with offices in Thailand and Washington. "The oil and gas
companies have been one of the major industries keeping the regime in
power."

Want the latest Radiohead album for a pittance?

This is your lucky day.

Radiohead, one of the world's most influential rock bands, plans to sell its new album from its Web site as a digital download and let fans choose what they want to pay.

You can even pay nothing if you want. And it's all legal.

What? No jello?

It was skinny gals and cat claws across the pond when Kate Moss and
Sienna Miller came to blows after a recent London wedding, reports the
UK Sun.

Nice. And they chose somebody's wedding to stage their mano-a-mano. And what, pray tell, was the ruckus about?

“Kate had a go at Sienna and accused her of stealing her style,” one onlooker told the Sun.

Her what? How exactly do you steal someone's style? Do you break into their apartment and crack a safe somewhere? Is it intellectual property registered in some Office of Style Patents? But what the heck? Catfight!! Im up for that.

Interestingly, Sadie Frost, ex-wife of Sienna’s ex-boyfriend Jude Law,
jumped in the middle, demanding that the battling beauties grow some
decorum.

Awwww... Dont be such a spoilsport, Jude Law's ex-wife. Decorum be damned. Throw them in a mudpit and let them have at it!

let's move to Japan

we'll live in a box, but at least we are not at the mercy of greedy cable companies

the return of the king!

parents these days

from the frying pan to the fire (or something like that)


we all know they're going to turn out to be drug-addicted damaged kids anyway.

i guess even the great Jackie Chan is a $$$ whore

your future men's room

kids these days

shit, that's it, i'm moving to ... where the hell am i moving to??

bored?

take a break. play pat-ping-pong.

for Anne H fans

p***y in her cleavage (NSFW)

not about nothing

take a break, learn.

stay home

a tale of woe

spot the two ex-employees!

What? 600 thousand dollars?

I guess the Navy is afraid of offending Jesus. He was Jewish after all.

Take that, Alicia!

some people dont need it

crap. the end is near.

because no one wants to pay

ok, start ogling ...

and share the results with your pals.

Hah!

According to this, there are twice as many men as women on the brightest 2% of the population.

Not so fast, though, hoss. It also says there are twice as many men as women in the least intelligent 2%.

How to explain this?

One theory holds that men seek to boost their intelligence, to make themselves
more attractive to females, while women’s chances of reproducing depend less
on their perceived intelligence.

That theory of course is poppycock. Men's motivation for boosting intelligence is not to make themselves more attractive to women. How many books have you read for the express purpose of being more attractive to the opposite sex, eh? These science nerds, sometimes I dont know what planet theyre on. Men dont boost their intelligence to be more attractive. Everyone knows that in order to achieve that, you boost your physique.

Why do men seek to boost their intelligence then? For its own sake, hoss. For its own sake. Now hand me that beer.

I, ahhhhhhh... am going to ummmm...

No wonder Ray Langit had a huge fanbase. His delivery was impeccable and is much imitated in radio reporting.

At-ahhhh andito na po ang-ahhhhh pangulo saahhhhh kubeta at-ahhhh tumatae.

killjoy

Pluto goes wild

related story.

addenda on the Dutch and bicycles.

parallelogram

so all these nerds who write our favorite funnybooks may really not be smoking weed after all.

Hoveround by Tom Cruise

geriatrics like to get around and play.

hidden agenda

which means you'd feel cheated when you seal the deal

Adeus, tukayo

And as a tribute to the Special One, here are a couple of goodbyes.

when to hold off

... no, this is not about sex, dummy.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...

... I rest my case.

Mr. Crocker, your 15 minutes starts... now. Good luck.

Role models

From Crackle: Role Models

after the overtime

The Dutch are doing great

Im sure it's a sign of a country's progress when one of its top universities is doing research on how a bicycle works.

For nearly 150 years, scientists have been puzzled by the bicycle. How on earth is it possible that a moving bicycle can, all by itself, be so stable? Researchers of the Delft University of Technology (TU Delft), working with colleagues from Cornell University and the University of Nottingham, UK, believe they have now found the ultimate model of the bicycle.

Let me clue you in, science guys, that is if you would take the advice from a non-scientist from a third-world country. It isnt the bicycle that's making it stable. It's the fella riding it. Youre investigating the wrong thing. Shee-friggin-eesh!!

The sun is the center of our solar system. Moving around it are the planets

Come on, France. Even our little kids know the answer to this. And most of them dont even need Promil.

It just had to happen

I suppose, in the spirit of the original [cough cou-fake-ough], somebody had to defend Chris Crocker, too.

Seth Green: Leave Chris Crocker Alone!

Well, now

Another witness comes forward with testimony on the 'pulling' of WTC 7. This was the building that wasnt hit but fell oh so neatly into its own footprint after the Twin Towers collapsed.

I remember that videotape of Osama in a cave where they gloated and praised God for the Twin Towers' collapse. He said according to their people's calculations, only the floors above where the planes hit would collapse. The fact that the entire structure of the Twin Towers collapsed, again neatly into their own footrpints, he attributed to divine intervention.

Well there couldve been intervention, but it sure wasnt divine.

Always a sure harbinger...

... of future obscurity. Once you do these ads, you disappear from Fame city. Like...ummm.. whatsername...and.. that chick...and that other chick.

with friends like these ...

Gee, you think?

And here we are complaining of single digit inflation.

Despite the fall, Zimbabwe's inflation remains by far the highest in the world.

You dont say!

Love 'em or hate 'em, the darn thing's 25 years old

:-)

access denied! priceless!

note to time bandit: AOL is for n00bs. here is your Tara Reid video link.

and just in case you didnt know, ActiveX is evil.

Japanese nuts

pimpin' aint easy!!!

singing can sure make you hungry

shopping with time bandit's girl

have taser, you obey, or else.

Trans-dimensional gaming

Numerous reports like this have been cropping up everywhere, and the latest is this Chinese guy.

A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge, state media said Monday.

Pfsh! They arent dead. They just crossed over into the alternate universe where the game resides so they can experience it first-hand without the keyboard, mouse, and monitor interface. Nothing like holding that sword, donning that armor, and rescuing that damsel in the high tower. Or racing against the best drivers in F1. The best thing to do is hold off on the autopsy and embalming for at least a couple of days just in case the gamer decides to return to our dimension. And they have to be made aware of the 48-hour time limit. The internet cafe doesnt have unlimited storage space, you know. If the 48 hour limit passes and said gamer still hasnt returned, then declare him legally dead. Dead to our dimension at least. He's probably having the time of his life in the other one.

a real asshole

ISH #50 (Friday Edition)

kicking it at number 50, we have perfect weapon to keep our freedoms intact, here and abroad. did i say "a broad"? well, ok ... a broad.

Is She Hot?

ANGELA McLIN

we have very few photos of this gal. but what we learned was: do not mess with her in pingpong. seriously. we're sure you're just gonna get a bad case of balls of fury. but if you insist, then be our guest. i surmise that if she's on the losing end, she can do this. and then you go down (or up).


and with this, ISH bids adieu for the interim, because scouting is a serious profession and demands on our person has left little time to do take scouting seriously. we don't want the quality (???) and integrity (?????) of these posts to be compromised. we hope to see you, loyal readers (yes all 2 of you), down the road for version 2.0. maybe. just always pray at night.

Like Mike

Glad to see this guy's back, after that ill-advised move to Real Madrid, and a string of career-threatening injuries. The only thing left to do now is marry somebody from Pussycat Dolls or something.

predator

and i thought it was because they got tired of being bullied by the apes.

We may have to rethink that old adage...

...that women belong in the kitchen.

They may look easy enough, but the recipes of Nigella Lawson and Delia Smith are actually very tricky to follow, a Government study has found. By contrast, their male counterparts write recipes so simple they can be understood by a young child.

I dont know about you, but I do find Nigella a bit too distracting on TV. Couldnt concentrate on the recipes.

Heroes. Fuck 'em!

As the lunch rush started Monday, waiter Juan Canales stopped a carjacker from taking a woman's Honda CRV out of the parking lot where he worked.

Hours later he lost his job.

Why, you ask? Because the owner of the restaurant he worked for didnt like the attention. The conversation prolly went something like, "You looky hee. Me no-like my waitess takee piss a wood and stop cahjekkehs. Cust-mahs skehd o dat shit! You fahyd!"

Prolly another case of "Against company policy." As in: What if something happened to my worker who's only trying to protect the property of my customers who're my source of income? You mean to stick me with the hospital bills and shit? You outta your frickin' mind, hoss!

Everyone's a critic

Ok so you didnt like Ms Spears's performance at the MTV awards, but come on, man. Dont you think youre taking this music critic thing a bit too far?

ish-rael!

should they not have tamed the raging Islamic terrorists by now?

women are from venus. and mars.

and now, another word about our favorite teachers.

deal with you?

just who are you?

the war on whatever

why Guy Richie lost his mojo

trojans! (not those)

pack up your things, and head underground!

wotta croc.

ISH #49 (Tuesday Edition)

on the anniversary of this American generation's Pearl Harbor, let's put a bold face against the enemies (real and imaginary) of freedom (yes, even the homegrown ones sitting in power). here's a big F.U. to them all.

Is She Hot?

SUSANN

shoot them up. shoot them up. shoot them up. (okay, that's a great plug right there)

awright!!!

instant classic!

trailer parked

BSG Razor

Really, is MTV still relevant?

There was once a time when music videos were being hailed as a new art form, short films based on popular music, and MTV ushered in the new medium with The Buggles' Video Killed the Radio Star. Soon it started to take over. Gone were the days when the music was all that mattered. Now it was all about marketing, and image, and packaging. Artists were now commodities, and individuality gave way to homogeneity. Rock was no longer rebellious. It turned into boring mainstream and one band sounds like another. And videos turned so boring that MTV itself showed less and less of them, opting for shows that featured stupid human tricks.

And as a tribute to that downward spiral, MTV keeps churning out its Video Music Awards. And as if to rub it into the collective faces of what counts as their fans--fans whose tastes they themselves have created--they have foisted this chick on all of them.

And even they were bored.

Mr. Timberlake, in his acceptance speech when he won for some award, said, "I want to challenge MTV to play more videos!" He couldnt have been more wrong. More videos won't revitalize the music industry. More doesnt equal better. It all starts with the music, then after that talent. Bigger budgets and special effects won't do it. Dancing sluts won't do it either. MTV, to really revitalize popular music, should disappear.

And again I say unto thee... DUH!!

Holy crap, what a scientific breakthrough!!

"The children were much better than the apes in understanding nonverbal
communications, imitating another's solution to a problem and
understanding the intentions of others," she said.

Dead Sea

so there were survivors.

a pervert's must-have.

soon well be back to dial-up.

here come the Veritechs

maybe he can shed light on protoculture.

i'm sure you'd still ask me to download HSM2.

ISH #48 (Friday Edition)

Steve Jobs rolls out new iSomethings every six months. we roll out hot ladies here every 4 days. well, "hot" is relative. that's why you're here to vote.

Is She Hot?

ERIKA JORDAN

ok, here's a decision for you: get an iPhone, or get this? if you picked the latter, you may get an extra bonus. if not, well ... let's just say you better have spectacular evasion skills.

as if we didn't have enough stupidity

let me repeat .... DUH!

i am da pulis!

from the state that brought you the smart girl who said Americans can't read a map.

now that we're all sober ...

Speaking of porn

This really isnt about porn. This is about our rights, dammit! Thousands have died so you can enjoy your porn collection. No one, not even the government, has a right to confiscate them. Let's hear it for this freedom-loving patriot!

Freeee-e-e-eeedom!!

It aint just factory workers

It turns out microwave popcorn can kill you, too.

I dont know about you, but real, pure creamery, cholesterol rich butter is still best for popcorn. Why someone would settle for the synthetic, chemical butter is beyond me. Pop your corn normally, place a huge dab of butter while hot, put on some porn, and youre good to go.

(Did I say porn? I meant The Sound of Music.)

really!? you don't say! no way!

done DEAL!

top 10 Star Wars clips

courtesy of Robot Chicken.

don't go to this island.

super hero me!

their Jesus Cruise won't like this.

and i thought naked sushi was pushing it.

wait, should i say "duh!"?

ratings thru the roof. praise 'em females.

Wolverine's kinda chick.

ISH #47 (Tuesday Edition)

we all know about celebrities misbehaving. even though we get weary of the tabloid fodder, we still get curious who's the next car wreck. although, somehow the wrecks are more glamorous on the other side of the pond. or maybe its just because i don't live there. our next candidate might be one of those. if not, no harm done (she poses for what they call lads' mags ... that's FHM for you). if so, well, you read it here first.

Is She Hot?

BIANCA GASCOIGNE

she could look like this and still avoid the scorn heaped upon Brit-Brit. and to think she's a real Brit. and if she does this in Jones Beach, they'd have to cordon off the whole of Long Island. in honor of Labor Day here (wonder if she's a card-carrying member of Labour), here's one to ease your burdens. or maybe not.

72 hours later

the real Frank West

See? Let them surf, dammit!

It helps productivity.

American workers stay longer in the office, at the factory or on the farm than their counterparts in Europe and most other rich nations, and they produce more per person over the year.

They also get more done per hour than everyone but the Norwegians, according to a U.N. report released Monday, which said the United States "leads the world in labor productivity."

oh well. should i be surprised?

good. whiny problem child, watch out!

Becks is an ugly boy.

it just gets harder

kitakokiki 2

back to school.

jersey boys

New Jersey is an enigma. being the fictional (hello, Tony) and real life (hello, you ... goombahs) home to mobsters (and Springsteen. and Bon Jovi.), it ranks among the richest U.S. states (and even with all that undeclared income). but then it also boasts of three of the most dangerous cities in America, despite also having a city ranked #1 as the safest.

so it just means, you may be rich, but you're not really safe.

prison break. not.

according to this study, despite the general decline of crime rates, there is still an increasing trend in imprisonment rates. there were about 2.25 million Americans in U.S. prisons (as of December last year), which counts for 1/4 of the world's inmates (is that counting Guantanamo too?). that magic number dwarfs even the population of several countries, like Estonia and some African states.

here's an interesting stat: a third of that 2.25M are violent criminals, while the rest are just plain vanilla. so instead of clogging jails, can the US use these 750,000 psychos to fight their overt and covert wars instead? they might win too. i'm just saying (hello, they have been doing that, but not on a larger scale). the real problem with that is controlling them. well, that's easy: implant them with devices that give them an aneurysm if they disobey. that'll teach 'em. if this works, the military won't even have to worry about recruitment or body bags or public opinion. you do the crime, you do the time - fighting for Uncle Sam.


somebody, somewhere is already writing a movie script.

a helping hand

well, no, sorry, you're too late. the girl already "found" her camera.

hey, is she hot?

form of ... shit!

Gylenhaal twin powers activate!

in related rumors, the name of the Dark Knight is Zoolander. Bruce Zoolander.

i don't know if i should laugh or cry.

Stripper 101

The Matris, Reloaded.

ISH #46 (Friday Edition)

what do we need to calm down our fans and readers? why, a dose of girl-next-door beauty, of course. but there's still that chance that they won't be calm, if you know what i mean ...

Is She Hot?

ANDREA

if she were your neighbor, wouldn't you be waking up early to catch her like this? she could be interested in you - just make sure you brush your teeth and wash your face, barbarian. are you an animal lover? then chat her up - she loves puppies! not to mention being paparazzi-friendly, she's almost uninteresting. almost.

Bean the Drum!

Jew-liani!

ok, am taking the grill this Sunday.

how to advertise men's underwear (NSFW)

what, he just met Hannibal Lecter?

download these films

now!

ok, you all should know better.

Im thinking of giving up rice

About 140 million people, mainly in developing countries, are being poisoned by arsenic in their drinking water, researchers believe.
...
The first signs that arsenic-contaminated water might be a major health issue emerged in the 1980s, with the documentation of poisoned communities in Bangladesh and the Indian state of West Bengal.
...
Since then, large-scale contamination has been found in other Asian countries such as China, Cambodia and Vietnam, in South America and Africa.

Great. And we're importing rice from China and Vietnam. I fondly remember the days when we were actually exporting rice. And other countries would send their best agriculture students to study here to improve their rice production. Now we're exporting people.