Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Steve Jobs did it!

should we be surprised? hmmmm.

When Black Friday comes

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road

you mean there were smart ones?

stupidest G.I.Joe vehicles ever

Monday, December 29, 2008

bet you want a trainer like dis.

Sunday, December 28, 2008


wow. they are asking to be gunned down by anonymous parties.

thundercats hoes

starring brad pitt, van diesel, and hugh jackman!



just stay alive, period.

you don't have to watch it in theaters, dumbass.
"well, Santa said I could get this for Christmas!!!"

a movie in the making

another option for TB to consider for 2009. then you can fall in love with the donor. tears and drama ensue.

well, finally!

because people should shut up when watching movies. well done, sir. well done.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Jack Sparrowson for President!

unchained parody

so, what are the chances that majority of their perverts didn't have breakfast either?

young at heart

what?! they don't pay that good in their granny porn industry anymore?
well, he wasn't nice!

Thursday, December 25, 2008


Seems Whitey needs to change their diet to be on the menu....
pfsh. just ask Logan.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

immunity schmunity

screw the immunity; at the least, deport the fuckers. if i were Obama, i'd keep the wiretapping and waterboarding policies intact for these specific cases.

ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! kill!!!!!! part 2

that's it; i'm burning my Chewbacca costume and Han Solo vest and Vader lightsaber.

nyahahaha! you're no longer hip!

"We're so big and popular that we don't need a trade show full of Apple-worshiping losers to advertise our products."

get that, LOSERS??

Monday, December 22, 2008

Transformers 2: Mac vs. PC


no problem; he's gonna resurrect himself as a zombie.

you hores!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!! Kill!!

"Bail us out!"
Banks that are getting taxpayer bailouts awarded their top executives nearly $1.6 billion in salaries, bonuses, and other benefits in the calendar year 2007, an Associated Press analysis reveals.

The rewards came even at banks where poor results last year foretold the economic crisis that sent them to Washington for a government rescue. Some trimmed their executive compensation due to lagging bank performance, but still forked over multimillion-dollar executive pay packages.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

the very last thing you'll see

house of pain

dare you even ask this question? we need all that attitude when we start conquering other planets and other alien races!

you overestimate man

he doesn't need help; he does that by himself.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Porn saves lives

This is SFW, I assure you. Just dont follow the links.
No, the Natural High performers have sex with impoverished local Africans on film. The director gave about $11,000 to a Kenyan charity, distributed some corn and free T-shirts to the locals in the area and then — reportedly — gathered up a few local men to have sex on tape with their performers in scenes that totally don't rely on stereotypes at all, as you can see.

Japan, you are indeed parody proof. But you do have a big heart.

"Re-e-eeevenvenge!," cried Squeekles the mouse

Payback's a bitch, Socks.
Mice may be responsible for a blaze that killed nearly 100 cats at an animal shelter near the Canadian city of Toronto, officials say.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The case of the incredible exploding corpse

Here's what happened: A man is killed after a loud explosion blew the roof of a house off. There was a thunderstorm going on at the time so everyone assumes he was hit by lightning. He was then cremated, but as he was being placed in the cremation oven, he frigging explodes.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Youre not helping either

I think grammar Nazis are annoying, but this is so basic, man.
Barack Obama's newly selected education secretary may need to visit a grammarian before he takes on the American education system.
Here's the sentence. See if you can find what's wrong with it.
He gave my sister and I the opportunity to start a great school in the South side of Chicago..."
Answer's in the article linked above.

Politically correct... supermarket

We dont care ma'am. We can't make a birthday cake for your 3-yr old. It's not PC.
The Holland Township couple has picked those names and the oldest child, Adolf Hitler Campbell, turns 3 today.

Dont kill me! Take the money and... what?

Did you say, 'egg beater'?
Investigators say Thompson held the knife against the victim's neck and demanded the egg beater. It was found in Thompson's back left pocket when the men were arrested outside the home.

Kama Sutra

With a lot of rust. Possible NSFW, but no humans, or anything alive, is involved in the video.

let's restart the Cold War

create your own goddamned movie industry, comrade.
but i was asleep, your Honor!

Again, uh-oh

But what do you care, eh? He's a lot better looking and actually speaks English.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. If we look at the list of contributors to Obama’s presidential campaign, we can see that he is, for all intents and purposes, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Lehman Bros., not to mention J.P. Morgan, Citibank, real-estate holding companies, and a veritable Who’s Who of the sub-prime mortgage lenders who are now being bailed out at a cost to the taxpayers—so far—of $700 billion.

Penguins? Pandas? Pfsh!

Now this is what YouTube should be about.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Sunday, December 14, 2008

were those Florsheims?


Next time you want to defend the president elect, just shut up. Youre not helping!
President-elect Barack Obama has never been close to Mr. Blagojevich. He has aligned with the Daley division of the fractured Democratic machine...
they should be proud instead.

Friday, December 12, 2008

And you thought it was just a conspiracy theory

Ladies and germs, the mainstreaming of the New World Order has begun.
But – the third point – a change in the political atmosphere suggests that “global governance” could come much sooner than that. The financial crisis and climate change are pushing national governments towards global solutions, even in countries such as China and the US that are traditionally fierce guardians of national sovereignty.
Oh, and speaking of climate change...
The chorus of skeptical scientific voices grow louder in 2008 as a steady stream of peer-reviewed studies, analyses, real world data and inconvenient developments challenged the UN and former Vice President Al Gore's claims that the "science is settled" and there is a "consensus."

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's global warming!

Head for the hills!! I mean, the tropics!!
Falling snowflakes glimmered in streetlights, so wide that they billowed to the ground like parachutes, and so tantalizing that even awestruck adults reached out their hands or stuck out their tongues to catch one.

By Wednesday evening, the flakes were big enough to hold their shape for a moment on the street before melting into the pavement, and a dusting had collected on parked cars in some parts of town.
New York? Chicago? Minneapolis? Noop.
The flurries tied a record for Houston's earliest snowfall ever and warmed the hearts of winter weather lovers who have pined for snow since it last made an appearance on Christmas Eve 2004.
et tu, Joe?
because they're idiots.

Monday, December 08, 2008

I dont even have a worthy post title for this one

It's parody-proof.
A young woman in southern China has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss, local media reports.

We are in a war, gentlemen

A war against terror. And we will not let those nuns and pacifists undermine the freedom we all enjoy. God bless America!
Among those labeled as terrorists: two Catholic nuns, a former Democratic congressional candidate, a lifelong pacifist and a registered lobbyist. One suspect's file warned that she was "involved in puppet making and allows anarchists to utilize her property for meetings."
Puppet-making! Why those terrorists will stop at nothing, won't they? Our freedoms are in peril, gentlemen. Dear God... Puppets!! God help us.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Yeah, why should the Medellin cartel have all perks?

Scientists want in on the lucrative drug trade.
"We should welcome new methods of improving our brain function," and doing it with pills is no more morally objectionable than eating right or getting a good night's sleep, these experts wrote in an opinion piece published online Sunday by the journal Nature.
Right. So why are illegal drugs, well, illegal? If you decriminalize drugs like cannabis, or cocaine, or opium, or LSD, they wouldnt be so expensive. Businessmen wouldnt have to bribe officials, provide for means to evade arrest, buy arms and maintain cadres of goons that would jack up costs and raise prices. People wouldnt have to commit crimes to obtain them because theyll be cheaper. Drugs would probably be made safer because businessmen dont want their customers to, you know, die and not be able to buy their products anymore. Drugs like nicotine and alcohol are readily available despite the fact that they kill thousands every year.

Arthritis on your hands? No worries.

Now you too can shoot people who annoy you.
The Palm Pistol is an ergonomically innovative single shot double action only defensive firearm chambered in 9mm that may be fired using either hand without regard to orientation of the stock. Suited for home defense, concealed carry or as a backup gun. It is also ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have limited strength or manual dexterity.


Being in the throes of death is no excuse for not showing up in court. Pay up!
Nineteen-year-old Ciara Sauro has pancreatitis and because she needs an islet cell transplant, she’s hospitalized every week, a situation resulting in a huge accumulation of medical bills.

Now, “Because she didn’t defend herself against a copyright lawsuit, a federal judge in Pittsburgh ruled she’s a music pirate, and that could cost the Sauros almost $8,000 in fines,” says Pittsburg news channel
the perils of eliminating sex
the private lives of toys

Friday, December 05, 2008

Black Friday cometh

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road
hey, can i see your iPod?

Thursday, December 04, 2008

take that, Michael Jackson

perfect! a place where i can sell my old Beatles MP3s.
brings new meaning to the term 'sex pistol'

See? It's safe!

Our ancestors apparently were potheads and it didnt wipe them out. So it's safe. If it werent, we wouldnt be around, would we?
Nearly two pounds of still-green plant material found in a 2,700-year-old grave in the Gobi Desert has just been identified as the world's oldest marijuana stash, according to a paper in the latest issue of the Journal of Experimental Botany.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

not that i have one, mind you

10 things we've learned from the X-Box headset

cloning works!

that's not Paula Deen; she died a long time ago.
would you? TB would.
29 more, and he'll have a company.

More Uh-oh news

Neocons love Obama.
"[S]urprising continuity on foreign policy between President Bush's second term and the incoming administration ... certainly nothing that represents a drastic change in how Washington does business. The expectation is that Obama is set to continue the course set by Bush ... "
-- Michael Goldfarb of the neoconservative Weekly Standard.
"I am gobsmacked by these appointments, most of which could just as easily have come from a President McCain ... this all but puts an end to the 16-month timetable for withdrawal from Iraq, the unconditional summits with dictators, and other foolishness that once emanated from the Obama campaign ... [Hillary] Clinton and [James] Steinberg at State should be powerful voices for 'neo-liberalism' which is not so different in many respects from 'neo-conservativism.'"
-- Max Boot, neoconservative activist, former McCain staffer.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Amplastik mo, pare.

No wonder you couldnt beat Dubyah.
Word from Capitol Hill is that, despite his kind words for Hillary Clinton yesterday, Sen. John Kerry is angry and disappointed about not being considered a serious candidate for Barack Obama’s secretary of state.

“He’s pretty PO’d,” said Someone Who Knows. “After going from the early front-runner to not even being considered, he’s pretty disappointed.”

Kerry yesterday issued a statement congratulating Clinton on her nomination for the globe-trotting gig.

How would Jesus drive?

Ask this guy.
A speeding pickup rear-ended a woman's sedan on the South Side on Friday morning and sheriff's officials say the driver said it was Jesus' will because the other motorist was not “driving like a Christian.”

We're number 12!!

The lamest blogs on the internet.
We decided to seek out the lamest blogs lurking around the Internet. Big or small, notorious or obscure, we tried to leave no cringeworthy creation uncovered. And here are the fruits of our labors.

Monday, December 01, 2008

I dont know if you Yanks saw this last night...

We in the motherland did. A smiley in the sky.

I didnt have my camera with me though, on the way home from the grocery. Venus and Jupiter were closer to the moon than shown in this picture from Australia, so the smiley really looked like a smiley. It looked like this: :) ... but a little lopsided. TB, better get your brand-spanking-new SLR ready just in case.

Update: Apparently you Yanks won't get a smiley. Youll get a frown.

Pfsh. Hypocrisy knows no bounds.

What are they going to do? Banish states to other planets? What do you bet they start targeting third world countries before they look at themselves?
The first role of the new body would be to enforce international agreements on cutting greenhouse gas emissions set to be agreed next year.

But the court would also fine countries or companies that fail to protect endangered species or degrade the natural environment and enforce the "right to a healthy environment".

Such dedication!

A police chief teaching gun safety to her daughter goes above and beyond... by shooting himself in the leg.
According to the Monroe police report, "Mr. Schwarber stated that he was out teaching his daughter gun safety and shooting techniques. When they returned home, Mr. Schwarber was preparing to clean his weapons, when he failed to realize that his pistol was still loaded and accidentally shot himself in the leg."

I bet the daughter won't forget that lesson.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

well, behave!

or else the human flesh search engine will find you, and ... well, read on.
being deported is not the end of the world


shows us why action movies are all fantasy.

It's somewhat striking that the terrorists' use of BlackBerrys "caught the anti-terrorist forces by surprise."

doesn't anybody anticipate this shit anymore? you're all waiting for a John McClain to rescue you?
uh oh! we've been outed!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

rock for Allah!!!
Mumbai pics
WOW! let's get out of our real lives!

When Black Friday comes

When Black Friday comes I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it till I satisfy my soul
Gonna let the world pass by me, the Archbishop gonna sanctify me
And if he don't come across I' m gonna let it roll

When Black Friday comes I'm gonna stake my claim
I guess I'll change my name

I know, I know. Steely Dan's song is about the crash of '29. Sue me.

Ah, yes.

Great minds think alike. The LHC is bullshit. But not totally, according to Stephen Hawking.
Renowned British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking has bet 100 dollars (70 euros) that a mega-experiment this week will not find an elusive particle seen as a holy grail of cosmic science, he said Tuesday.
Note: The LHC broke down and repairs would mean that they would start colliding things in late 2009. The Higgs Boson is supposed to be the particle that gives other particles their mass. Which leads us to the question, Where did the Higgs get its mass? To solve that, we'll build the ELHC, the Even Larger Hadron Collider.

Apparently another scientist who thinks pouring money into the LHC is bullshit is Nobel Prize winning chemist Kary Mullis.
"Do we need to use billions of dollars to build machines that maybe will put a few of our rightfully treasured eggheads in touch with things so far from what can be engineered into useful items that only they will get a thrill out of finding them? Do we need to do this when there is an obvious threat over our heads, something falling right now onto our planet? Something big, heavy, and headed our way? Something that already has our number on it, a number we could read if we would just point enough telescopes out there to see it?"
From his book Dancing Naked in the Mind Field, 1998, published by Vintage.

Friday, November 28, 2008

abandon all hope!

DOD or alive

no more looking for UFOs eh? so they finally wised up?

ay, robot

do you right-wing assholes know about this? maybe you want to bomb him too eh? better late than never eh?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A good way to screw up your eyes.

Check out the top 20 optical illusions. Then schedule an appointment with your eye doctor.

And in our Uh-oh news for today

This can't be good. First a Democrat neocon as chief of staff and now this.
Kevin Werbach, an academic, is a member of two guilds in the world's most popular online game, playing under the name Supernovan Jenkins.

He has invested so many hours in the game that his "Tauren Shaman" character has reached Level 70, one of the higher ranks.
well, ladies ... not our fault.

Metallica goes shopping

all that money that they rightly earned fighting those damn pirates has been put to good use

space date

well, the point of having a bachelor pad, is to be able to bring someone back there and do things in private, ain't it?

So that's where I left my keys!

Cuban missile crisis redux

Obama is really beginning to look a lot like JFK.
LA GUAIRA, Venezuela – Russian warships sailed into port in Venezuela on Tuesday in a show of strength as Moscow seeks to counter U.S. influence in Latin America. Russia's first such deployment in the Caribbean since the Cold War is timed to coincide with President Dmitry Medvedev's visit to Venezuela, the first ever by a Russian president.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Japanese are no fun

Theyre parody-proof.
Since launching two weeks ago on Rakuten, a major Japanese web shopping mall, the Wishroom shop has sold over 300 men's bras for 2,800 yen ($30) each. The shop also stocks men's panties, as well as lingerie for women.

"I like this tight feeling. It feels good," Wishroom representative Masayuki Tsuchiya told Reuters as he modeled the bra, which can be worn discreetly under men's clothing.

The US to break up?

Why that hasnt happened since the Civil War!
Nov. 24 (Bloomberg) -- A professor at the diplomatic academy of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs said the U.S. will break into six parts because of the nation’s financial crisis.

“The dollar isn’t secured by anything,” Igor Panarin said in an interview transcribed by Russian newspaper Izvestia today. “The country’s foreign debt has grown like an avalanche; this is a pyramid, which has to collapse.”
Although one can't help but agree that the monetary system is indeed a gigantic pyramid scam that's bound to collapse. The professor however miscalculates. All the US has to do to fill the black hole the monetary system is creating is to invade another country.

And I ra-a-aaan, I ran so far awa-a-aaay. Couldnt get away. La-la-la.

On second thought...

Let's NOT hire the Indians.
BANGKOK, Thailand (CNN) -- Fourteen sailors are still missing from a Thai trawler that was sunk last week by the Indian navy as a suspected pirate ship, the vessel's owner said Tuesday.
Indian navy frigate INS Tabar

The Indian navy frigate INS Tabar was reported to have battled a "pirate vessel" last week.


Last week, India's navy reported that the frigate INS Tabar had battled a pirate "mother vessel" in the gulf November 18, leaving the ship ablaze and likely sunk. Wicharn said that vessel was his ship, which was in the process of being seized by pirates when it came under fire.

Monday, November 24, 2008

sound familiar?

in the guise of a scientific expedition, they're actually sending deep sea oil drillers to destroy the thing. 'cause its headed right at us.

BS detector, are you working?
don't blame me if your ipod starts crying

hold the ketchup!

well, kids have to eat, you know, especially after crashing into an old couple's car. that takes a lot of energy. yes it does.

The motherland doesnt run out of irony

Maybe we could export it.

Cloverfield 2

In which I revisit a comment I made about bullshit

In one of the posts on this here blog, my not-always-accurate bullshit detector raised red flags in various degrees of malodorousness about the report that Sarah Palin didnt know Africa is a continent and not a country. It turns out that there was indeed an off-chance that it wasnt bullshit. Or at least the odds that a government official, duly elected by the American people, wouldnt know that Africa isnt a country, are shorter than I have previously believed.
WASHINGTON (AFP) – US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday.

Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI).

Saturday, November 22, 2008

everyone can have a bad hair day

peace dogs

Vatican forgives Lennon, Beatles for 'more popular than Jesus' remark.

what the report didn't say was the implication that the Vatican was also sorry for sending Mark Chapman to whack Lennon in 1980.

if you also look at the pic, i wonder what Vic Sotto was doing there (extreme right).

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Avast thar, matey, part deux

Who needs Blackwater? Let's hire India.
INS Tabar sank the pirate "mother ship" after it failed to stop for
investigation and opened fire instead, an Indian navy statement said.

Mother ship, eh? I think we need Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum.

warning to the fatties

Avast thar, matey!

Looks like the Blackwater guys are finding business in Iraq slow. Yo ho ho and a bottle of kickass.
"Blackwater Worldwide today announced that its 183-foot ship, the McArthur, stands ready to assist the shipping industry as it struggles with the increasing problem of piracy in [Somalia's] Gulf of Aden," the firm says in a statement. "
Pirates versus Mercs. Who you got?
wandering eyes

Monday, November 17, 2008

Hooray for rights!!

A crowd "asserting the right to be naked outside" appeared at the meeting of the volunteer advisory board, said Dewey Potter, parks spokeswoman. "This is how we learn and find out what people want," she said.
And in response to this clamor...
Seattle Parks and Recreation will drop its pursuit of a proposal that would make public nudity in parks subject to prosecution for criminal trespass.
I wonder when we'll get public officials like these, who uphold people's rights. Because really, that's one of man's fundamental rights: Life, liberty, and the right to be naked outside.

The guvmint knows where you are

So how come they still can't find Bin Laden?
Triggerfish, also known as cell-site simulators or digital analyzers, are nothing new: the technology was used in the 1990s to hunt down renowned hacker Kevin Mitnick. By posing as a cell tower, triggerfish trick nearby cell phones into transmitting their serial numbers, phone numbers, and other data to law enforcement. Most previous descriptions of the technology, however, suggested that because of range limitations, triggerfish were only useful for zeroing in on a phone's precise location once cooperative cell providers had given a general location.

Foo fighters!

Dont crap on Chomolungma, Sherpa exhorts

Such dedication to cleanliness.
Sherpa's team, during its month-long expedition, picked up 965 kg (2,100 pounds) of cans, gas canisters, kitchen waste, tents, parts of an Italian helicopter that crashed 35 years ago and remains of the body of a British climber who died in 1972.

In addition, his team also brought down 65 kg of human waste produced by its 18 members, which it handed over to a local environment group at the base camp for management.

Im sure the local environment group said, "Thanks a lot, buddy."

Friday, November 14, 2008

come get some!
bless me father, for i have sexed.

Time Bandit ought to look at tequila futures

There's a fortune in them.
A method of producing synthetic diamonds using tequila - Mexico's favourite alcoholic drink - has been discovered, scientists there say.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

any volunteers?? get behind me!!!

I miss the old Bond

The double-entendres, the one-liners, the fact that his suits never wrinkle even after a fight. The new Bond is just too... ordinary. I suppose Generation Y, steeped as they are in ultra-violent videogames, doesnt appreciate witty word-play any longer.

Anyway, here's a list of the best Bond one-liners.

If it smells like bullshit...

... it probably is.
It was among the juicier post-election recriminations: Fox News Channel quoted an unnamed McCain campaign figure as saying that Sarah Palin did not know that Africa was a continent.

Who would say such a thing? On Monday the answer popped up on a blog
and popped out of the mouth of David Shuster, an MSNBC anchor. “Turns
out it was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy adviser, who has come
forward today to identify himself as the source of the leaks,” Mr.
Shuster said.

Trouble is, Martin Eisenstadt doesn’t exist. His blog does, but it’s a
put-on. The think tank where he is a senior fellow — the Harding
Institute for Freedom and Democracy — is just a Web site. The TV clips
of him on YouTube are fakes.
Fox News stands behind the story though. Hahahahaha!!!

i was only dreaming

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The UK needs you!

Do your part to help the country that gave us the English language.
“The only countries that seem to have enough sperm are those that pay —
like the U.S. and Spain — or the countries that retain anonymity,” said
Allan Pacey, a member of the British Fertility Society that warned of
the shortage in the British Medical Journal.

so? girls do that all the time!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

See? It IS a country!

Africa, that is. Chris Matthews said so.

Yeah, sue the sumbitch!

And while youre at it, sue America for eating Turkey during Thanksgiving without asking permission from your country.
In his lawsuit, Huseyin Kalkan, the
pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman, is accusing Nolan
and the studio of using the city’s name without permission.

“There is only one Batman in the world,” Kalkan said. “The American producers used the name of our city without informing us.”

don't be a dic!

well, if that happens, we'll join the resistance that never materialized during the Bush years.
the faces behind your fave cartoons

Jesus 40

40 depictions. time bandit has the 41st.
upgrade your Mac.
fly Ryanair!

The reason Obama won by a landslide?

Because he isnt George W. Bush. Duh.
President-elect Barack Obama is unlikely to radically overhaul
controversial Bush administration intelligence policies, advisers say,
an approach that is almost certain to create tension within the
Democratic Party.

Mr Gore, are you raising your hand?

holy crap! anybody wanna take them in?


no, of course they didn't buy those to shoot him. c'mon, guys!
i have no words.
in honor of Remembrance Day (in the UK)

Monday, November 10, 2008


Change-dot-gov just, well, changed.

President-elect Barack Obama over the weekend scrubbed his transition
Web site, deleting most of what had been a massive agenda for his first
term that appears on his campaign's site.

Gone from are the promises on how an Obama administration
would handle 25 agenda items — from Iraq and immigration to taxes and
urban policy — which the campaign first laid out on the Web site

Welcome to the real world, Mr. Obama.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

Yeah, Bond, why dont you work on these?
James Bond is out for revenge in the new film, Quantum of Solace,
opening in the United States on Nov. 14. But here in the real world,
the intelligence community is badly in need of a superspy to solve some
of its biggest conundrums. Here are five missions we’d love Agent 007
to tackle.

sci-fi movie, or figurative definition of the state?

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Kim Kardashian is the next ...

top gun?

hey, why not? t.b., her number is (555) 1234538...

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Thursday, November 06, 2008

It's her fault!!

Looks like the Republicans are all set to throw Sarah Palin under the bus. Fox News has the knives out and are after Palin's ass.

Yeah, blame the chick for your failings. Idiots. Youve had 8 years of idiocy and youll blame your loss on the chick from Alaska.
hope the honeymoon lasts longer than post-9/11

didn't make headlines ...

... considering the event that happened the same day, but don't tell me they don't have his DNA locked away somewhere and ....
least effective ways to pick up a girl

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Huh? Who??

Norman Black? Jack Black? Wadapak??

Philippine Daily Inquirer, grow the fuck up.

Yay, justice!!

Throw the book at em!
Two of three friends who jumped naked into Moosehead Lake last summer
for a free Skinny Dip sandwich at the Black Frog Restaurant in
Greenville were found guilty of indecent exposure Monday in 13th
District Court.

The court found that Bernard Beckwith, 31, of Poland and Christian
Simpson, 37, of Bethel knowingly exposed their genitals in a public
place under circumstances that likely caused affront or alarm to others...

Crystal Stilwell, 25, of Bath, who had accompanied the men in the naked jump for the free sandwich, was found not guilty.
Yeah! Fine the guys. Let the women expose themselves without fear of prosecution. In fact I would definitely support a law that uses taxpayer money to subsidize such actions.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

a Vampirella Halloween for you!!!

Another reason MTV is irrelevant

MTV bleeps Weird Al.
MTV's actions really have me scratching my head. Do they think that the
names of file sharing programs are the equivalent of curse words? Or do
they really think that, by bleeping them out, people won't be able to
figure out what's in the song? Seems like yet another sign of how out
of touch MTV has become from today's musically-inclined youth.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

at least it will be within your budget!!!

Irony, thy name is Global Warming

It's like rain on your wedding day. Not.
Snow fell as the House of Commons debated Global Warming yesterday - the first October fall in the metropolis since 1922.


t.b., don't do this.


looks like we know what our friend does in his spare time

"Ummm, frenchman, yummy," the toilet said

Firefighters took more than an hour to free the man, before lifting him from the train on a stretcher with the entire toilet still stuck to his arm.

A fire spokesman said: "He was cut free from the toilet on the platform and apart from suffering bruising and smelling a bit, he suffered no other injuries."
What was he doing? He was trying to retrieve his phone from the crapper. Another reason why you shouldnt buy the most expensive gadget out there. If my cheap phone fell in the crap, I'd have no qualms about flushing it.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


electric company

soon we will be tasered for even looking at a cop the wrong way
dare you wear these?

The machines are taking over!!

A Polish driver steered his mini bus straight into a lake - after his sat-nav told him to.
Such is the power of the machine, that a human can surrender his will to it.
"The driver had such faith in his sat-nav that he didn't even notice
all the traffic signs saying the road had been closed," they added.
But then again, maybe he's just stupid.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Well, well, well

Looks like our favorite gamer is getting more action than he's letting on.
Gamers are twice as likely to go out on dates as nongamers in a given month.
But then again, maybe the study is a load of BS.

if Facebook doesn't kill, it can get you fired.
there is NO escape!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008


you're singing "penis angelicus"? oh, 'panis'! sorry, Father!
guess who's a flickrite?
oh yeah? so why didn't you stay on the moon then?

No thank you

What will they think of next?
The treatment consists of six non-venomous snakes massaging the client's aching muscles and joints.
What's wrong with hookers giving you a massage? Where's the spa for that? Six non-venomous hookers. A spa whose time has come.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

if you get one, hope its a prank.

They arent green. Theyre a bit yellowish.

So reusable cloth diapers arent all that green eh?
A government report that found old-fashioned reusable nappies damage the environment more than disposables has been hushed up because ministers are embarrassed by its findings.
But notice what the Brit government does:
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) has instructed civil servants not to publicise the conclusions of the £50,000 nappy research project and to adopt a “defensive” stance towards its conclusions.
A defensive stance against the truth? Nyahahahaha!! Governments. They suck.

But to be fair, it's not the nappies themselves that arent green. It's how the Brits wash them.
To reduce the impact of cloth nappies on climate change parents would have to hang wet nappies out to dry all year round, keep them for years for use on younger children, and make sure the water in their washing machines does not exceed 60C.
That's how we in Third World countries have always washed them. We use the sun and our hands. Not Maytag. Lazy ass.

"We can no longer see Russia from my front door!"

I guess the polar ice caps arent shrinking anymore, eh?
"In mid-June, I was surprised to see snow still at sea level in Prince William Sound," said U.S. Geological Survey glaciologist Bruce Molnia. "On the Juneau Icefield, there was still 20 feet of new snow on the surface of the Taku Glacier in late July. At Bering Glacier, a landslide I am studying, located at about 1,500 feet elevation, did not become snow free until early August.
Does that mean global warming is over? Get Al Gore to run for president again.

The Gospel of John

Lennon, that is.
Artists highlighted for exploring Christian themes in their music
include Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan and John Lennon, who famously claimed
the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.
"Let's turn our hymnals to Hymn 42. Obladi Oblada life goes on, rah! La-la-la-la-life goes on."

Monday, October 20, 2008

I say jail that... that.. appliance!

Fascist pigs!
Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.
i guess he was busy getting laid during this event


i believe a member of this blog should be #1.
sure, sure, blame the Yanks

Thursday, October 16, 2008

shit for your 'Fox
no, you don't have the power.

Cough it up, lady!

I mean that blue sapphire necklace. We know the woman in the picture is you.
The last remaining survivor of the Titanic disaster is selling her mementoes to pay for her nursing home fees.

Party pooper!

"There is absolutely a link between oral sex and oral cancer," said Dr. Ellen Rome, of the Cleveland Clinic.
somewhere beyond the sea.

Wait, what??

Im a... liberal???

According to a controversial new study, set to be published in The Journal of Political Psychology, the bedrooms and offices of liberals, who are generally thought of as open, tend to be colorful and awash in books about travel, ethnicity, feminism and music, along with music CDs covering folk, classic and modern rock, as well as art supplies, movie tickets and travel memorabilia.

Conservatives, on the other hand, tend to surround themselves with calendars, postage stamps, laundry baskets, irons and sewing materials in their personal spaces, according to the study. Their bedrooms and offices are well-lighted and decorated with sports paraphernalia and flags—especially American ones.

And Grif is a conservative. Nyahahahaa!! What a load of crap! Dont these 'scientists' have better things to do? (What the hell's wrong with Scientific American?)
Needless to say, not all experts are on board with the subtext of these conclusions. Political scientist Evan Charney dismisses links made by the studies between personality and ideology. "There's a lot of bad science here," says Charney, a fellow at the Institute for Genome Sciences & Policy at Duke University.
Yeah, you tell 'em, Evan. And while youre at it, ask SciAm why they published this crap. But go ahead and read the rest of it. It's a hoot. Scientific American has turned tabloid.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Save energy, save the world

Hire this guy for your next party.

Queen Palin

No wonder theyre losing the war

Iraq war veteran attacked by vicious monster in park.
He said the animal, which Garren estimated weighed 2 to 3 pounds,
pounced on his head after he simulated a squirrel call to get its
attention Sunday afternoon.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Obama can't lose!

McCain? Obama?


David Scot Springer in 2008!

(What do you mean you dont know who he is? If you think Obama and McCain are who they say they are, then youre more stupid than I thought.)

approved for use of the F word

after saving whales, she stumps for McCain.
different types of chess
Halloween 2008 masks
again, let's move to Japan!

The sun is the center of our solar system...

... moving around it are the planets.*

Awesome pictures

*Whatever happened to that Promil kid? If he's working in some call center, Im going over there to personally beat him up. All these years Ive been rooting for him to become an astronomer.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Change you can believe in

Seems like President-to-be Obama's people would not hesitate to sic the Secret Service on your ass if you dis their candidate.
A Lufkin woman received a surprise visit from the Secret Service last week because of a "death threat" comment she reportedly made about Sen. Barack Obama to a campaign volunteer asking for her support of the presidential candidate.

Yes indeed. From way over here in the islands, the difference between the Dems and the Republicans are terribly difficult to spot.
a country poorer than those in africa.
WW2 Posters

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Alas, poor iPod. I knew it well...

And he's not too crazy about the prospects of the iPhone too.
Wozniak told The Daily Telegraph that the iPod has had a long time as the world's most popular media player, and that it will fall from grace due to oversupply.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

somebody didn't grow up

sly fox

if i'm reading this right, it means that he has jumped from rehab to full blown sex addiction. which means rehab was useless.
Kool Aid man strikes again [flickr]

Monday, October 06, 2008

Friday, October 03, 2008


can they expand this? i'm already thinking a beheaded Mickey Mouse, Pooh Bear ran over by a semi, and the Little Mermaid on a grill. fabulous!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Want to quit smoking?

It works.

They sure aint smoking now.
5 things time bandit didn't know about Hooters

You think kids in America are sick?

Get a load of the Brits.
'But there were some people shouting things like "Jump" and "Get on
with it!" They were teenagers with nothing better to do who seemed to
think it was funny.


'When he fell, lots of people were screaming and crying but there were
several groups of youths who ran from behind the cordon and looked like
they were taking pictures with their mobile phones.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

scary movie

i clicked on one of those Gmail ads ... and holy crap!!! don't click if you just had lunch (kinda NSFW)

No he's not an asshole.

He has a mental illness.

And therefore he's qualified for disability benefits.
"no, bitch, i said the Double Cheeseburger is better!"

chink death

how deep does the rabbit hole go?

Monday, September 29, 2008

games for adults only
now that's what i call multitasking (possibly NSFW)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

join, join, join! (for 2009)

a message for Ryan Reynolds

and Alanis Morissette is here to remind you, of the mess you left when you went away, and it's not fair to deny her, of the cross that she bears that you gave to her, you, you oughta know.


in other related news, thousands of red-blooded males all over the world commit suicide when they heard about it.

Friday, September 26, 2008


why don't you idiots all gather in one place and just kill each other?
game showers!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Monday, September 22, 2008

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

why you should not ask for help on the internetz
quick, time bandit. use your money ON THIS!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

the eight best restaurants in the world!


God bless you, rhetorical Republican lovers!

Monday, September 08, 2008

Monday, September 01, 2008

yeah, we need another one.
so what? Cheney shot Bush! or something like that.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Reps Vs Dems, Round 353974247462792

its been barely two days, and the mud has been flying around hard and fast.
they forgot ... "Sniper in CoD4"
mac upgrade
with friends like these ...

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

when you have a teenager

America the 3rd

this is for time bandit.

Even CNBC’s Cramer, a capitalist if there ever was one, now says that the American stock market is so rigged that the average person needs to get out NOW.

oh, wait, he's not average. silly me.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


Saturday, August 23, 2008

how many have you seen?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

how do i call an airstrike on these people?

you judge

these people have. LOL

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Saturday, August 16, 2008

TDK: Ages 9 and below


Triumph over SDCC

what's your status?

i am an Olympic champion!


i like the "let's have a sip of coffee first" sequence

no bono

seeing that i haven't lined their pockets for awhile ... screw you, i say. i'll give you my money once you eradicate starvation in Africa, deal?


do y'all feel lucky? i shore do, punk! and that's Principal Bush to ya!

have u done this before? admit it!


not an Olympian, not an Olympic sport, not safe for work.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008