Sunday, December 31, 2006

check, mate!

if i did it ...

... here's how it would have happened.

autobiography on sale on January 2007, $15.99 in Barnes and Noble.

Thursday, December 28, 2006


if they knew where to look, they wouldn't be this hassled (and, ehem, it wouldn't cost anything). sounds like the same people who were still using dial-up when cable came into town. viva la geeks!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Night at the Museum....

and lo' and behold..

they crank out..

Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer... nice.

and Galactus isn't far behind...

Monday, December 25, 2006

i feel dead

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel dead, I knew that I would, now
I feel dead, I knew that I would, now
So dead, so dead, I got stiff

R.I.P. James Brown, 1933 - 2006

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Jaws V trailer

It’s the touching story of a man, another man, and the jumping shark named Bruce that comes between them. As with most modern love stories, the phrase “watch the teeth” strongly applies.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Whiney frassum-wassum

US cancels annual joint military exercise with the Philipines over convicted rapist Daniel Smith.

"Due to the current custody issue (over the US marine),
the usual protection provided to US service members is in doubt," US
embassy spokesman Matt Lussenhop told the AFP news agency.

What he's saying is, US service members should be able to continue to rape women and get away with it under the protection of the visiting forces agreement. I have an idea for you, Lussenhop: Why dont you tell your boys to quit raping women and they won't have to worry about going to jail? Worth a try, eh?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

So begins the revolution

A new laptop for the masses sans Microsoft and Intel in the works.

Why we need a robot army

apply directly where it hurts

the most annoying commercial has spawned several parodies:

spoof #1
spoof #2
spoof #3
spoof #4

i'm sure you'll find more in youtube.

trivia: the original ad doesn't even mention why you need to apply it to your forehead.

cryo skill

this hibernating skill should be taught to all climbers lest they end up like the ones on mt. hood.

a message

... from Time Bandit's fervent Christmas wish, to the world.

click here.


james banned.

now that i am out of the spy biz, click here to see my next film role.

No fair!

How can this team lose with God, the Blessed Mary ever-virgin, and all the saints in heaven on their side?

This time it's 'mouse rage'

Sure, blame the web for being an asshole. Tch... Seems to me that sufferers of 'mouse rage' are suffering from deeper psychological problems than slow-loading pages and pop-up ads. Just another item to put down in their disability claim.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

so where the hell were you?!?


Japan alters it's pacifist stance.

Think of an army of Toyotas and Hondas, suddenly transforming--kitako-ki-ki--into fully armed, sentient robots; PS3 and Wii, training a new generation of cyber warriors, and cyborg sex-and-death machines. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

What do you mean I am the one (gonna dance on the floor in the round)

Woman accuses Mel Gibson of being her dad. And check out her mom's description of how she met Gibson:

I was a slim young woman in tight-fitting jeans on the side of the road when a station wagon stopped.

Sounds like an opening for a bad novel.

Sounds like BS to me. Abangan.

Monday, December 18, 2006

NSFW (maybe)

Hostel II!

jegster: "error 404 ..."

oh well, let us help out neutered PCs ...

Head for the hills part deux

America is going broke!

Hey waitaminnit. If the Philippine economy is being propped up by OFWs, and OFWs earn dollars, the collapse of the dollar could only mean... HOLY CRAP!!!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

heart attack grill

may these nurses come and open shop here. i need a checkup.

NSFW: Winona

from A Scanner Darkly.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Thursday, December 14, 2006

the only question is ...

... which Carey would you bang?

A robot army?

Come on, Japan. Enough of this robot servant crap. The free world needs a deterrent to this.

Let's... volt.... in!!!!

Head for the hills!!

A dollar collapse is imminent.

"People in the U.S. are going to be hit hard," Chapman warned. "In the severe
recession we are entering now, Bush will argue that we have to form a
North American Union to compete with the Euro."

It's a New World Order.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Tasteless and so politically incorrect, but.. Nyaahahahaaa!! The Nintendo Wii ad.

they built this shitty

Yanni! Air Supply! La Toya! Vanilla Ice! and some other bands I actually listen to!

Blender's (annual, ho-hum) 50 Worst Artists in Music History
Jerry Seinfeld may be next.


another pod is available for use with your camera!

Wii is not for the squeamish

here's a website showing injuries resulting from playing Wii. tougher gamers are required for Wii.

The wonders of soy

NOT!! Soy makes you gay!

(If this shit is true, then a cursory check of Japan or China would indicate a larger proportion of gay men vis-a-vis the total population. They should also have a higher incidence of cancer. Or a problem with obesity even more prevalent than the US. Or maybe soy only affects paranoid Americans. Nyahahahahaa!!)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

back to the future

tell your future self how you screwed today up by not calling "The One", getting that one-night stand pregnant, discovering you got crabs from a hooker, receiving an eviction notice from your landlord, and your parents disowning you.

with any luck, your future self won't get to read it 'cause he'd be scrounging coins for the next meal and wouldn't have enough to pay the internet cafe.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Great chili, man

Fart forces plane to land.

(As I was reading this, I thought, Please God, dont let it be Grifter, Delphi, or the Dude.)