Obama arrested for pot possession!

Zombies Ahead....

I didnt do it.. honest!!

But I did see it though.. hohohoho

Ahhhhhhh!!!

Just AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh-h-h-h-hhhhhh!!!

the Admiral Ackbar Show

Because it's greener

... than the electric chair.

(b) When the penalty of death is imposed, the punishment for a defendant convicted under RSA 630:1, I(g) shall be execution by firing squad. If execution by firing squad is to be carried out, the commissioner of the department of corrections or designee shall select a 5-person firing squad of peace officers. The commissioner or designee shall ensure that the method of judgment of death specified in the warrant is carried out at a secure correctional facility operated by the department at an hour determined by the department on the date specified in the warrant. Compensation for firing squad members shall be in an amount determined by the commissioner of the department of corrections.

lies, lies, lies!!!

too much entitlement begets kick in the face

because it was slightly less than a million dollars?

fuck you. and that's from someone who has not seen any semblance of a bonus, not even the first letter of the word, not even a whiff of one, since he's started working here. and to think that even a bonus would be taxed heavily anyway. yeah, fuck you too, government.

they try to make me go to rehab, i say, no, no, no!

anybody seen this?

What's not to love?

She's hot and she knows history. And she just laid the smackdown on Bill O'Reilly. Tell me: What's not to love?

“I want to clear some things up that have been bothering me lately,” Alba blogged on MySpace Celebrity. “Last week, Mr. Bill O'Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people... it's so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland.”

crash!

oh, you know they're keeping that $50M and trying to find other ways to spend it. Send in Delta Force, Obama - kill these bastards!!!

leave Christ out of this!

Pfsh!

Ho-effing-hum.

According to a simulation of planetary warming trends, failure to drastically cut greenhouse gas pollution within the next half century could choke Earth's oceans for the next 100,000 years.

How many times do we have to tell you? Your simulations are crap! You can't simulate a complicated thing like climate from a computer model and get accurate results. For the love of all that's holy, go out and gather real data. All this fear-mongering is just giving the government more 'reason' to take control of our lives.

Gloria-frigging-Arroyo has just appointed herself 'Environment Czar'! Holy crap!!

"The President is already head of the government. To appoint herself as chair of a body which mandates government agencies to fulfill what are already their responsibilities - and to put aside budget for that purpose -is absurd."

Who said that? No, not some oil company exec or some auto industry flunky. Greenpeace did! Grean-effing-peace! Mother of pearl!

"just look at it, Sir Richard!"

Google street view ... like a box of chocolates

check your closet! don't just open the door!

Something's in the water in Pittsburgh

21 ex-Steelers under 60 have died since 1996

Obama is ready...

... to kick your ass!

Dont say we didnt warn you.

A company that cares. Doesnt it warm the cockles of one's heart? Because theyre concerned with their customers' health, the Happy Egg Company contains a warning in each of their six-pack egg cartons:

Allergy advice: Contains egg.

BJ sucks!

I meant Billy Joel, potty-brain. This article reminds me of the discussion I had with the Grif a few years back over whether or not Billy Joel deserves his place in the rock n' roll Hall of Fame. Grif, a bona fide Joel fan put up a strong defense against my accusations that he is a derivative talent at best, but no one changed the other's mind. I still think Billy Joel sucks, and the Grif still lights candles to an altar made entirely of Billy Joel album covers.

And I think I've done it! I think I've identified the qualities in B.J.'s work that distinguish his badness from other kinds of badness: It exhibits unearned contempt. Both a self-righteous contempt for others and the self-approbation and self-congratulation that is contempt's backside, so to speak. Most frequently a contempt for the supposed phoniness or inauthenticity of other people as opposed to the rock-solid authenticity of our B.J.

Gee, you think?

Really?

The White House warned Sunday that the country could face a long and painful financial recovery, even with major government intervention to stimulate the economy and save financial institutions.

'Even with'? Try 'because of'.

inglorious basterds

they have work that entails the use of a laptop and they can't afford their own wi-fi? coffeshops should be more sophisticated and start charging for wi-fi usage after 2 hours.

i'd be impressed if one of them was Michael Jordan.

i know its still monday but ...

when black friday comes la la la la

think you live in a crappy place?

time to be patriotic to your former colonizer

Inauguration GigaPan

Now this was in May 2008

Let's tick off the predictions to see whether they come true or not.

• The imminent collapse of the U.S. Economy to occur sometime in late 2008
• The imminent collapse of the U.S. Government finances sometime in mid 2009
• The possibility of Civil War inside the United States as a result of the collapse
• The advance round-ups of “insurgent U.S. Citizens” likely to move against the government
• The detention of those rounded up at The REX 84 Camps constructed throughout the United States
• The possibility of public retaliation against members of Congress for the collapses
• The location of safe facilities for members of Congress and their families to reside during massive civil unrest
• The necessary and unavoidable merger of The U.S. with Canada and Mexico establishing The North American Union
• The issuance of a new currency called the AMERO for all three nations as an economic solution.

First one was good, eh?

Forget Hollywood

See this movie.

Prepare for sleepless nights.

(It gets weird though.)

a perfect explanation

now that we know what causes it, may we suggest disintegrator laser cannons be mounted on each car so the offending vehicle can be taken out of the equation to minimize slowing down by the rest of the herd?

daaaaaaaaayyyymmmm!

didn't they learn as much watching G.I.Joe?

how long till the boyfriend dumps her?

Change!

this post was edited because it displayed like crap due to badly designed embedding code. just click here to see the video onsite.

Benjamin lost his buttons

The Grif is prescient

... and bailed out of Facebook just in time. If he didnt, he'd be buying one of these.

One such device, made by INQ (a London-Hong Kong handset maker) is out right now. Called the INQ1, it's a mobile phone with a web-based operating system that revolves around Facebook. That's right, just Facebook.

But knowing Grif, I think he bailed out of Facebook because he found something better. As the article says, Facebook is so completely over, man.

how many did you see?

you like juggling balls eh?

thanks a lot, so get the F outta here!!!

(i know, i know, that was a trifle petty but hey, it made you laugh ... right?)

yes, why not?

should work as long as its an English prison.

Way to go, kid. Way to go.

Effing brill!

tragic but ...

... if you see train tracks leading to a tunnel, you'd better avoid said tunnel.

start 'em young

didja read this? he said he's gonna create a new O/S. that warms Steve Ballmer's cold heart.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

wake me up when they roll 'em out in front of a firing squad.

Something to brighten up your day

An entire site dedicated to Charice Pempengco's TV appearances.

Doesnt it make you proud? Our gift to the United States of America. I heard she'll sing God Bless America at Obama's inauguration. She's a real patriot and America will be all the better for just giving her her citizenship papers right there and then. =wipes tear=

if this is true ...

... am screwed. but on the other hand, its supposed to be good news for some men.

(explains why most women go for the money eh?)

ho-hum. next!!!

too chicken to throw the xbox at her, i see.

the land named goo

so it wasn't a promised land eh? or are you not just smart and savvy enough to handle the crap?

totally responsible parenting

it's the boy's fault; he pestered his dad to tag along.

well, good for you; watch your back on your way out.

ok, maybe they're Yanks vacationing in France?

what, you only saw the Matrix trilogy yesterday??

let's move to Peru!

A-one and a-two

When Black Friday comes
I'll fly down to Muswellbrook
Gonna strike all the big red words
From my little black book
Gonna do just what I please
Gonna wear no socks and shoes
With nothing to do but feed
All the kangaroos
When Black Friday comes I'll be on that hill
You know I will

and here it is!

When Black Friday comes
It comes right down to it lalalala

well, cane your extremist brother, why dont you?

the way some of their fellow Muslims act at times, its worse than being drunk.

its a bird, its a plane, its ...

not only do they like to go, but they want to work there as well.

For fresher breath

... and an agonizingly slow and painful death.

Their review, published in the Dental Journal of Australia, concludes there is now ``sufficient evidence'' that "alcohol-containing mouthwashes contribute to the increased risk of development of oral cancer''.

The ethanol in mouthwash is thought to allow cancer-causing substances to permeate the lining of the mouth more easily and cause harm.

Acetaldehyde, a toxic by-product of alcohol that may accumulate in the oral cavity when swished around the mouth, is also believed to be carcinogenic.

It's the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

And Pastafarians around the world sing praises.

The group said they watched several glowing orange spheres with octupus-like arms reaching down from them, while driving late at night.

The sighting came just three days before a wind turbine had one of its blades ripped off in Conisholme, Lincs, in what many believe was a close encounter.

And the family's description is strikingly similar to what witnesses claim they saw shortly before the wind farm incident on January 4.

what a bitch.

what? so i can't send useless text messages?!

dude, Mumbai has been done. you need to anticipate other (new) ways they'll be coming at us.

Cadillac 1

want one? you have to be elected to the US' highest office first.

hairspray. right. gotcha.

a Stormtrooper's day off

where Tijuana meets San Diego

guess which is which

how many have you seen?

hello, its called a Lance!

no, dummies; its to protect our young daughters from him.

lost in translation

moral lesson: texting sucks.

roll your eyes, one more time

this really sounds like a religion foisting itself upon the masses in the name of 'morality'.

China expanded an Internet cleanup campaign Friday, shutting down an edgy blog hosting site for apparently carrying "harmful comments" and naming more than a dozen sites containing pornography or other vulgar content.

Late on Thursday, the China Internet Illegal Information Reporting Center -- the government-backed body that monitors the Internet -- posted a list on its Web site naming more than a dozen sites, including Microsoft's MSN, that it says need to clean up pornographic content.

The sites contained a large amount of vulgar material that "violated society's morals, and harmed the health of young people," the notice said. It urged the sites to eliminate offensive content and for Internet users to monitor the process.

the internet a source of immoral material? no way! get outta heah!!!

and rolling tanks over people is an example of shining behavior. whoooopeeeeeee!

the scum still rises

to those who are still in Facebook, look this up.


yes, i know, this is from that infamous blog we you posted almost a year ago.

its raining 'cans

ask Gore, he has an explanation. no, not the Pirates of the Caribbean director, moron.

your heads are about to explode.

check out #9.

alright, geniuses. i dare you make a claim.

rip it out of her!

if you don't like to eat Indian ...

... well, maybe this might change your mind.

storms are brewing

while she's at it, shouldn't she take the porn industry to task as well? or at least get some money out of it?

wow, some people just watched the Blair Witch Project recently.

Vista lovers, rejoice!

you have just been stabbed in the back.

Sigh...

Im tired of shaking a fist at Al Gore and his Nobel Prize, but I just can't help it. The fucking Nobel Prize!!

Earlier this year, predictions were rife that the North Pole could melt entirely in 2008. Instead, the Arctic ice saw a substantial recovery. Bill Chapman, a researcher with the UIUC's Arctic Center, tells DailyTech this was due in part to colder temperatures in the region. Chapman says wind patterns have also been weaker this year. Strong winds can slow ice formation as well as forcing ice into warmer waters where it will melt.

What happens now to all those poor polar bears stranded in rapidly shrinking ice floes so vividly portrayed in news stories of the imminent end of Planet Earth?

(For the record, I do think we -- that especially means you, Yanks -- are using up resources frivolously and haphazardly, but if it's causing anything, it's causing poverty and terrorism, not global warming.)

You know the drill...

When Black Friday comes
La la laaaa la laaa

And to illustrate the absurdity of the bailouts of the banks and car companies

I give you the irrepressible Larry Flynt:

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

hmmm ... duh.

why do science types lack common sense? ah, because they need to learn the cold, hard facts supported by evidence. sheeesh.

Work it!

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Get ill on the floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road

In which Grifter gives up his romantic ideas about living in the Big Apple...

... and starts scouting for houses in the 'burbs before the City eats his brains.

Now scientists have begun to examine how the city affects the brain, and the results are chastening. Just being in an urban environment, they have found, impairs our basic mental processes. After spending a few minutes on a crowded city street, the brain is less able to hold things in memory, and suffers from reduced self-control. While it's long been recognized that city life is exhausting -- that's why Picasso left Paris -- this new research suggests that cities actually dull our thinking, sometimes dramatically so.

But then again, it may be too late.

Sing it with me!

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road

moral lesson: just buy the tickets for yourself!

the many. the stoned.

we do NOT need these dumbasses in the military!

i know where TB is spending the next long weekend.

smashing pumpkins is old. click here to see what's new.

Irony, thy name is... Blagojevich

It's not like rain on your wedding day.

Think of a state that could use a little refresher course on ethics in government. There's a good chance a certain state whose governor allegedly tried to sell a U.S. Senate seat comes to mind.

And as it turns out, Illinois is set to hold just such an ethics course for state workers this Wednesday.

Avengers movie leaked

how can she slap? how can she slap!!!

Google domination is at hand.

Hunter Thompson motivates you for 2009