check, mate!

if i did it ...

... here's how it would have happened.

autobiography on sale on January 2007, $15.99 in Barnes and Noble.

one more reason to hate stupid people.

sheep

if they knew where to look, they wouldn't be this hassled (and, ehem, it wouldn't cost anything). sounds like the same people who were still using dial-up when cable came into town. viva la geeks!

Night at the Museum....

and lo' and behold..

they crank out..

Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer... nice.

and Galactus isn't far behind...

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/fantasticfourriseofthesilversurfer/hd/

i feel dead

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel dead, I knew that I would, now
I feel dead, I knew that I would, now
So dead, so dead, I got stiff



R.I.P. James Brown, 1933 - 2006

Jaws V trailer

It’s the touching story of a man, another man, and the jumping shark named Bruce that comes between them. As with most modern love stories, the phrase “watch the teeth” strongly applies.

Whiney frassum-wassum

US cancels annual joint military exercise with the Philipines over convicted rapist Daniel Smith.



"Due to the current custody issue (over the US marine),
the usual protection provided to US service members is in doubt," US
embassy spokesman Matt Lussenhop told the AFP news agency.



What he's saying is, US service members should be able to continue to rape women and get away with it under the protection of the visiting forces agreement. I have an idea for you, Lussenhop: Why dont you tell your boys to quit raping women and they won't have to worry about going to jail? Worth a try, eh?

And a very merry Christmas to you too, Mr. President

President Ahmadinejad wishes you a merry Christmas.

More bad news for the USD

Iran moves to Euros.

So begins the revolution

A new laptop for the masses sans Microsoft and Intel in the works.

Why we need a robot army

apply directly where it hurts

the most annoying commercial has spawned several parodies:

spoof #1
spoof #2
spoof #3
spoof #4

i'm sure you'll find more in youtube.

trivia: the original ad doesn't even mention why you need to apply it to your forehead.

cryo skill

this hibernating skill should be taught to all climbers lest they end up like the ones on mt. hood.

a message

... from Time Bandit's fervent Christmas wish, to the world.

click here.

banned

james banned.


now that i am out of the spy biz, click here to see my next film role.

No fair!

How can this team lose with God, the Blessed Mary ever-virgin, and all the saints in heaven on their side?

This time it's 'mouse rage'

Sure, blame the web for being an asshole. Tch... Seems to me that sufferers of 'mouse rage' are suffering from deeper psychological problems than slow-loading pages and pop-up ads. Just another item to put down in their disability claim.

so where the hell were you?!?

Let's...volt...in!!

Japan alters it's pacifist stance.



Think of an army of Toyotas and Hondas, suddenly transforming--kitako-ki-ki--into fully armed, sentient robots; PS3 and Wii, training a new generation of cyber warriors, and cyborg sex-and-death machines. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

What do you mean I am the one (gonna dance on the floor in the round)

Woman accuses Mel Gibson of being her dad. And check out her mom's description of how she met Gibson:

I was a slim young woman in tight-fitting jeans on the side of the road when a station wagon stopped.

Sounds like an opening for a bad novel.



Sounds like BS to me. Abangan.

NSFW (maybe)

Hostel II!

-
jegster: "error 404 ..."

oh well, let us help out neutered PCs ...

Head for the hills part deux

America is going broke!



Hey waitaminnit. If the Philippine economy is being propped up by OFWs, and OFWs earn dollars, the collapse of the dollar could only mean... HOLY CRAP!!!

heart attack grill

may these nurses come and open shop here. i need a checkup.

NSFW: Winona

from A Scanner Darkly.

the lost episode

i thought i'd seen all Seinfeld episodes until i saw this newly released episode. could the highly successful series be returning to TV?

don't even ask.


on the other hand ... ok, don't.

DH!

Bruce Willis and the dude from Apple get their asses kicked by a girl.

home is where the movie set is

if it weren't for CGI, we could have solved the world's housing problem. imagine all the people we could fit in the Death Star.

happy days are (almost) here again!

the only question is ...

... which Carey would you bang?

A robot army?

Come on, Japan. Enough of this robot servant crap. The free world needs a deterrent to this.



Let's... volt.... in!!!!

Head for the hills!!

A dollar collapse is imminent.

"People in the U.S. are going to be hit hard," Chapman warned. "In the severe
recession we are entering now, Bush will argue that we have to form a
North American Union to compete with the Euro."

It's a New World Order.

you know they're gonna make a movie.

Wheeeee!!

Tasteless and so politically incorrect, but.. Nyaahahahaaa!! The Nintendo Wii ad.

they built this shitty

Yanni! Air Supply! La Toya! Vanilla Ice! and some other bands I actually listen to!

Blender's (annual, ho-hum) 50 Worst Artists in Music History

Jerry Seinfeld may be next.

quikpod

another pod is available for use with your camera!

Wii is not for the squeamish

here's a website showing injuries resulting from playing Wii. tougher gamers are required for Wii.

The wonders of soy

NOT!! Soy makes you gay!

(If this shit is true, then a cursory check of Japan or China would indicate a larger proportion of gay men vis-a-vis the total population. They should also have a higher incidence of cancer. Or a problem with obesity even more prevalent than the US. Or maybe soy only affects paranoid Americans. Nyahahahahaa!!)

#1 Movie!!!

A new era for South Africa...

... when they elect Chuck Norris as president.

back to the future

tell your future self how you screwed today up by not calling "The One", getting that one-night stand pregnant, discovering you got crabs from a hooker, receiving an eviction notice from your landlord, and your parents disowning you.

with any luck, your future self won't get to read it 'cause he'd be scrounging coins for the next meal and wouldn't have enough to pay the internet cafe.

ef

THIS is Shakira?!?


and also, why men keep cheating on the Aniston.

So you want to know how big the Millennium Falcon is eh?

Or the Enterprise? Or Galactica? Have I got a site for you.

CNET's loss

when i saw his face on the news, i thought i recognized the man who died looking for help for his family. true enough, he was the guy giving product reviews at CNET.

kakana-kana

on one hand, it seems ironic that the indians are buying something (back) from the white man. on the other, it just reinforces the notion that they have no other options except to run casinos.

i'll be there for you. (pause) not.

and that's why Brad is Angelina's slave. Wait, why the frak is this news, again???

Great chili, man

Fart forces plane to land.

(As I was reading this, I thought, Please God, dont let it be Grifter, Delphi, or the Dude.)

GalaxyQuest!

track your friends, enemies, etc.

holy crap!!! it was just a matter of time!!!

http://www.phonetrace.org

He's alright, he's alright, alright. Shamu, the mysterious whale

Right. If you won't set the whale free, at least give him a bigger trailer, on-call masseuse, and more mackerel. That is, if you dont want this to happen.

top viral video

and i thought the world had forgotten about him.

crab n' ho explosion

if we could allow Iran or North Korea to fire one missile at the U.S., hopefully it would be at these coordinates:




or maybe a meteor? spontaneous combustion? anything involving a means to their end? please, Lord?

The Simpsons - Da Ali G Show Parody

what's next? Borat? Bruno?

80's cartoons orgy

dismembered

a Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation. perhaps the Vatican should order all priests to do the same so there won't be anymore lawsuits.

what the hell was that monk meditating on anyway?

about time

Kramer's MySpace

To: MySpace Customer Service

From: Michael Richards

Re: Profile Glitches

Hey – MySpace guys,

I don't know what's going on, but I checked my MySpace page this afternoon and all of my friends were just suddenly gone. Like, almost everybody – totally vanished. That guy "Tom" wasn't even there anymore, and I thought he had to be friends with everybody.

It must be some kind of server problem or something, right?

I put a profile up on MySpace about eight months ago and since then I've accumulated something like 16,000 friends from all over the world. But when I checked today, it was just Seinfeld and a few other guys I don't even remember adding, like DocMartenMan and ArchieBunker12. There was some bald guy called Curb Job who I thought might be Larry David at first, but when I clicked on his photo he looked way too young. Plus the caption underneath said he hated the Jews.

So... can you guys get back to me about this? I hope it's just a glitch or something.

Sincerely,

Michael

****

To: Michael Richards

From: MySpace Tech Support

Re: Profile "Glitches"

We regret to inform you, Mr. Richards, that there has been no "technical glitch" in your profile. We believe that almost all of your Friends have simply decided to remove themselves from your page, thus ending your virtual Friendships. Maybe you did something to make them all mad – we're not sure. However, we are all glad to hear that Seinfeld has hung in there with you.

On the plus side, our technicians have reported that Mel Gibson wants to add you as a Friend. Apparently, somebody overheard him say "Finally – a celebrity that's more racist than me."

HAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN!!

Screw you, Richards – you suck now, and all of your old Seinfeld episodes suck now, too. Anytime you make a wacky entrance into Jerry's apartment now, we're not gonna laugh, we're just gonna think about how much you hate black people.

Sincerely,

The MySpace Tech Support Team

***

From: Michael Richards

To: MySpace Tech Support

Re: Ha ha

Okay, okay. I get it. You're heckling me. Well, look – I’m not flying off the handle about it. I'm able to keep my composure in the face of criticism, believe it or not. Although I should point out that almost everybody with half a brain has already made that Mel Gibson joke. Even Leno has probably already done that one.

Anyway, I honestly thought that maybe something was technically wrong with my profile, but thanks for clearing that up for me. Also, you telling me to "screw off" clues me in to the fact that you're probably not too happy with what I've done, so... if it means anything, I'm sorry if I offended anybody on the MySpace tech team.

It's very hard to explain these things, these behaviors. All I can say is that I got very, very angry with some hecklers, so I said the worst possible things I could say to them, the most horrible stuff I could think of. I think we all have access to these racist words and thoughts, just by virtue of growing up in American society. We have access to these types of things, and sometimes they just come out, though luckily for most, not in a public forum.

Throughout my life – as a child growing up, as a former military man, and as a white man in general – I've been privy to an enormous number of racial slurs and stereotypes. I mean, I've heard really, really rotten shit about Afro-Americans, Asians, Mexicans, Polish people and almost everybody else you can think of. I don't usually agree with it, but it's out there. I've heard it. And I know better than to repeat that garbage, not only because I don't want to promote it, but also because I know that it can really hurt the people that that type of stuff is directed at. However, it's that exact repression of language, that knowledge of its impact, that can cause a person to finally belt out all of the hateful words and ideas stored in their head when driven to an extreme point of rage. I think anybody who's ever cursed to themselves in traffic can understand that. It's having the power of the forbidden words, the knife-like ideas – sometimes it just comes out all over the place, and it doesn't necessarily reflect the way a person really is or how a person really feels.

So – I hope that maybe you can understand the position that I'm in, and accept my apology. It was never my intention to hurt so many people.
Now, on to other technical matters. I'm having another problem with my profile that maybe you can help me with. I want to add the caption "I totally love niggers" to my photo, but I don't know how to bold it. Can you tell me how to do that?

*Source.*

Secret agent men

looks like the American secret service is no match for Argentinian crooks.

Starbucks' new image

XBox, here i come!

the real Kramer

watch your favorite Seinfeld character go ape shit.

give them a taste of their own medicine

how to prank your telemarketer.

360 comes full circle

did i read this correctly? a real-time strategy (RTS) on a gaming console? Command and Conquer on an X-Box? this, not to mention Halo and Dead Rising, makes X-Box a better choice than PS3, don't you agree?

adult toy for the younger generation

i blogged about an inappropriate toy last month, now i've found another. this one looks like a phallus. we've sunk so low.

$hit$

are we supposed to be envious, curious, or what? why was this article even written?

Alyssa Milano charms Dr. Doom!

FM

why do we give airtime to this FUCKING MURDERER*????




* cause no one has the fucking balls to call him out

Ro-Borat ka rin!

15 minutes is just about over ...

pod war

another pod is on the market. personally, i still think the one i use is more versatile.

boogeyman

this perv probably got the idea from a seinfeld episode.

Sex On a Plane!

The Ultimates

this just in: the Ultimate Avengers are ultimate dicks!

have faith in your music

looks better than the Shuffle.

just desserts

Borat is still no. 1 at the box office but not everyone is happy.

Geek Bathtub... WTF?

it's a dog eat dog world

this definitely pays more than Fear Factor.

bye, don!

lost

idiots

ehhh-?

know what you can do so you can avoid being subjected to humiliation? then don't do anything you otherwise "wouldn't engage in" (while sober).

New Spideyman Trailer

here

guess who? (NSFW)

i was in the French stinker 1001 Nights. who am i?

eau de toilet

a bit long, but worth it ...

made in hollywood

NSFW (ahh you damn prudes ...)

made in the Philippines

available in a Walmart near you.

Let's jump into the Borat Bandwagon....

The Real Borat is suing

the secret origin of Borat

he used to be Cristoph the Albanian!

Only in Japan....

ohaiyo gozaimasu!!!

wakarai Mr.T GPS navigation...

wooootah!!!!!

* available beside Sake, Beru and Used-Panty Machine Dispenser.. HAAAAI!!!!

Ipod Goobers... errr.. Gurus

apparently.. some genius lifted this off the US patent office

Robotech Exosuits

eat your heart out Honda.

Borat's first cousin

for benefit of backyard lawn.

sketch of a woman

is the world ready for this?

light's out

now it's western europe's turn

A bestial Potter!

your doctor friend as a teenager is gay!

Kim Condemns Sunrise

PYONGYANG, North Korea (o) -- Increasingly defiant toward international pressure since his nation's first nuclear test in early October, North Korean leader Kim Jong Il condemned this morning's sunrise, calling it "another hostile, deliberately timed act by the world community" and "a clear and blatant declaration of war."

... Continue reading article.

borat #1!

go postal! (NSFW)

and people whine too much.

WTF????

lonely Wonder Woman

lonelygirl15 for the amazon role? this must be a joke!

Starbucks Universe

hanky pankydermy

elephants raping rhinoceroses? how is that possible???

they killed crikey! you bastards!

a new hope

Pole position

because children are our future, parents should teach them while their young.

Only Chuck Norris can kick Chuck Norris's ass

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

This and other facts about the world's favorite Texas Ranger.

So desu ne it begins

Looks like I spoke too soon about media companies looking to YouTube as a marketing ally instead of an enemy. Faced with lawsuits from a Japanese entertainment group, YouTube purges 30,000 Japanese videos from its site. No more quirky Japanese game shows, folks. It'll take a few more bonehead plays like this to rob YouTube of its charm.

impossible is nothing

after the Star Wars Kid fiasco, you'd think people would be careful of what they post on the internet. unfortunately, there's still lots of pathetic people out there. even stupid if the person came from Yale. like Ghyslain, narcissistic Aleksey Vayner is suing for his own stupidity.

baby you can park my car

first it was the hybrid car, now Toyota's made a car that parks itself! i won't be surprise if Toyota becomes the first to make a flying car.

burn, baby, burn!

a hobby for pyromaniacs. soon, LEGO will be banned from airplanes too.

South Park WoW

best South Park episode ever!

do you like watching girls?

you'd better not be in this site!

We need another one of these...

... like we need a hole in the head. While Dunkin Donuts tries to encroach into Krispy Kreme territory, Krispy Kreme is soon going to make inroads into the Philippine donut scene. And I think it's being marketed as an upscale brand here, whereas it's just another donut stop in the US. Go figure. Our love of all things trashily American is giving KK an alta sociedad feel back here in the colony, and we indios dont mind just as long as we get a slice of that American Pie, or in this case, donut. It's brilliant marketing, I have to admit. DD has carved a niche here as an affordable, unpretentious, cholesterol and trans-fatty acid laden treat, perfect for the masa-to-lower-middles with a sweet tooth and an extra buck. KK has to differentiate itself from the rabble, even as I suspect there's nothing different about it, except for the breathless word-of-mouth recommendation of Kuya or Ate who works in a hospital in Texas as a nurse even though he or she is a licenced MD here in the islands.

As for me, give me a good old bibingka, and Im good to go.

Holy mother, theyll kill us all!!!!

Proof that stingrays communicate with each other. After Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray barb to the chest, word got around the stingray community: Barb. Chest. Kill. Human. Let's-get-em.

I say enough of this war on terror. Let's kill all stingrays before they kill us all!! Call the UN. Call Nato. Call double-oh-seven!

he was moved by cheese

So It Begins. Not.

here's why music companies won't be a threat.


this makes Mark Cuban a little hasty (to say the least) in saying that "only a moron will buy YouTube."

Finally!

Internet Explorer 7 is here!!

All together now: Whodahell cares? Nyahahahahaa!!

So it begins

Now that Google has bought YouTube for a gazillion dollars, record companies smell blood, and as such are embarking on a dress rehearsal by suing small upstarts for practice.

Google better be on their toes.

Ah, the wonders of science

Scientists create a new element.

Created by smashing calcium (to give the element strong bones and teeth) with the man-made element Californium (to give the element breast implants), the new element lasted for a millisecond. It is as yet unnamed, although I have a suggestion. Call it Hudapakcaresium.

Too Much Headshots

Superman Lives!

Breakfast of champions

Tips for better pancakes.

Like yo' momma used to make.

A history of home computers...

... according to ads.

(500+ dollars for 64k? Nyahahahahaa! Those were the days.)

Can't Wait To Die? Try This!

Slasher Joys!

More 9-11 mysteries

Itsh a conshpirashy, I tellsh ya.

Trying to come up with 'more plausible' explanations for the mysteries in this site could be a fun exercise.

asimiento me

doesn't it just bring back memories?



now i gotta go find my headband ... NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Soon, youll need lots of sunlight to keep your beer cold

Solar-powered refrigerator wins environmental award.

SolarChill refrigerators don't need batteries or a connection to the electrical grid - they store power in three 60W voltaic panels. They do however have an AC/DC converter, which provides flexibility to use wind, hydropower, bio-gas or grid energy (and even a car battery!) when there is not enough sun. The coolers are also energy efficient because they have excellent insulation. They don't contribute to global warming thanks to the special hydrocarbon system made by our friends at DTI and their partners.

Another reason to dump your Friendster account

From web's next best thing to 'What's that?' in 3 short years, Friendster is being kept alive by Pinoys.

you know i'm bad

what?? i thought it would've been Menudo, German Moreno, or Ferdinand Marcos.


oh ... cartoons.

Finally... we get to see puppies

Scroll all the way down...

Jessica Is A Good Dresser... mein gott!!!!

Hooray!!!!

Fight! Fight!!

Album covers duke it out!

9/11 Truth

dunno if this shiazza was posted or not.



9/11 and the government conspiracy

Die, Hollywood, Die.

or maybe its just a poll.

hey, i miss polls!

aaaaaaaaargh! part 2

He looks like Therapist.

nyahahahahahahaha! (goes to puke)

aaaaaaaaargh!

who even thought about this shit???

Waka-waka-waka chomp-chomp

Google buys YouTube. And possibly sets itself up for doom. Nyahahahahaa!!

(And btw, Google's other acquisistion Writely is now in beta and is operational. Ive tried it and it rocks.)

I am Ong-bak!!!

i will crush you!!!

Nooo-o-o-ooo!!

What? Lucas, have you gone completely insane? 3-D computer graphics for the Clone Wars TV series?

Dont you realize how lame that looks? Havent you seen the Final Fantasy movie?? Bring back Genndy Tartakovsky, damn you. The Clone Wars series in Cartoon Network was the best thing in the Star Wars franchise since the first trilogy. Somebody slap some sense into this bitch, will ya?

The Fly

The End of Transpo as We Know It!

Since we use our brains in school...

... a recent study suggests no video games on school nights.

The study of course doesnt apply to work nights since, as everyone knows, we dont use our brains that much for work.

mumumumum-bai

ok this outsourcing shit has gone too far!

iBod (NSFW, sort of)

even geeks can have fun!

Morgellons Disease

http://www.morgellons.org/casedef.html

itsh x-files shit or bioterror crap... other than that... there were 35 cases in Austin, Texas last June 2005... factor in some math gumbo, carry the 5.

and we have 2 million.

Litigate! Litigate!

Stick it to the man.

Teach these hypocrites a lesson!!

$$$

check your bills. this is cool.

Yeah! What he said!

Frassum-wassum, whiney, self-righteous Canucks.

10 Things I Hate About Commandments

on a roll, baby!!!

you drive me crazy!

see, the link in the post below is useful!!!

click-happy

More Ways to uh, ... Kill Time.


You know, when you're waiting for the client to call you back after you emailed him how stupid he was for doing this and that.

because the general knows

... that his soldiers are horny and undisciplined.

If youre making travel plans...

... then let this list be your guide.

If youre alive today to read this...

... thank Stanislav Petrov

Stanislav Yefgrafovich Petrov (Russian: Станислав Евграфович Петров) (born c. 1939) is a retired Russian Strategic Rocket Forces colonel who, on September 26, 1983, averted a potential nuclear war by refusing to believe that the United States had launched missiles against the USSR, despite the indications given by his computerized early warning systems. The Soviet computer reports were later shown to have been in error, and Petrov is credited with preventing World War III and the devastation of much of the Earth by nuclear weapons. Because of military secrecy and international policy, Petrov's actions were kept secret until 1998.

Thanks, comrade.

brains and beauty?

we went to the wrong schools! LOL

quickest way to $200!!!

truthiness!

the real reason why The Hoff's daughter tried to commit suicide:

Hegemon!!!

Damn these hypocrites at Apple. So they have intellectual property rights on anything that has 'pod' in it?

Why dont they sue the makers of Gorillapod?

uwe'r OUT!

director puts his fists where his critics' mouths are.

time killer

Find 'em dark movies!

meet Alisha

i think stoned skanky girls are fun to watch, don't you agree?

Stealth-surfing for porn

Torpark changes your IP every few minutes, rendering you virtually untraceable.

are you a monkey's uncle?

what do you believe after reading this?

colombian ego

must be their drugs... or their coffee.

Carell and Colbert

We only get the international edition of The Daily Show so we miss segments like this.

I feel the need...

... the need for speed.

US Navy retires the F-14 Tomcat, the plane made popular by the then Kat-less half of what the Hollywood press is calling Tomkat (gak!) in the movie Top Gun.

Sandwiches!!

I dont think the good Earl of Sandwich had any idea how far his little invention would go.

Warning: Don't lick the webpage.

More. I just love the simplicity of caprese. The only problem with making this here is the unavailability of good mozzarella, a problem that you New Yawkers dont have. All we have here are over-priced supermarket mozzarella. I substitute kesong puti, but it's not the same. C'mon Batangas and Laguna, it's just one extra step from kesong puti and you can make your own mozzarella. Give those carabaos a break from plowing the fields.

pop quiz, hotshot!

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?



For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star.

* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *

web 2.0 is here

Web 2.0 - Thefirstpost.co.uk on Vimeo

guess who?

eat your heart out, Bart

did you watch last night's episode of The Simpsons where Bart became a drummer of a jazz band and Lisa got jealous? well, both of them are not worthy in front of this drum prodigy

The dream camera

The new Leica M8. At close to 6000 dollars a pop, this digicam must, alas, remain a dream. The only way I would acquire one if some tycoon or movie star would give one to me. I can't imagine buying one for myself, even if I win the lottery.

This one's for Time Bandit

An answer for his inability to get a tan. (Sunlight just reflects off his skin, giving people in his immediate vicinity sunburn.)

crazy california

California sues carmakers for pollution. maybe the Philippines can sue Sarao Motors too.

frak party

i would really love to go to this event but unfortunately i will be out of town. Brooklyn is one of the venues. go and drink on my behalf, please (you know who you are).

we are animals

i once saw idiots provoke a tiger in a Chinese zoo. this confirms that they (the Chinese humans), not the animals, are indeed idiots.

permanent record

open Google.
type (with asterisks):

"(your first name here) was arrested for"

and go.

see how many times they report you getting arrested for whatever. nyahahahaha!

here's one example.

HP Scandal

Nubile girl raped at Harry Potter party! Click to find out!

atras

Lewd photos and sex-related articles have been replaced by inspirational columns. What happened to Abante? watch the video.

Just the thing...

... to give Brad Pitt his self-esteem back. Because quite frankly, he lost it when he married Angelina Jolie, content to just follow her around like Angie's slave (which he is, by the way), losing all his mojo. At first he thought he could tame her, but come on, how does one tame a force of nature?

40 million dollars might--just might--give him back his balls.

wow, hassle, pare.

kris aquino, reincarnated as a conyo blogger ...

wait, does this mean kris is dead? hallelujah! or not.

busted!
(NSFW, of course)

death by ...

this is just bad product development and marketing. do you want your customers to die???

NSFW-flash!

the list is growing short, time bandit ... make your move!

islamofascist game

it was only a matter of time. those radical muslims are now using technology to reach out to younger minds.

throwdown!!!

place your bets ...

7th Heaven!!!

go to hell, boy

the trailer of Sword of Storms is already online.

Move over, lonelygirl15

Here's Happyslip, our very own.

Synergy

Wind and hydrogen. A match made in heaven.

Also look at this post from Howie Severino on how one town in Ilocos Norte is embracing wind power.

Let's have a piece of that pie

Opportunities for our new graduates: call centers, medical transcriptionists, business process outsourcing... spying.

new coke

finally, cocaine is legal!

if Japan won the war ...

... we'd have more of these!

they never learn

this is a disaster waiting to happen.

killjoy

ironically, grifter's idol hates comics.

ironic

here are some Iron Man armor concepts that did not make the cut for the upcoming movie. while the guy who posted the pictures think it's fantastic, i think it's overdone. the suit just looks too complicated.

crazy people

Steak and beer, garcon.. with a side order of bacon fat

Everything bad for you is good for you? A doctor after mine own heart.

holy shit

cross vs crescent, round .... ah, who cares.

doctor is in (NSFW)

does anyone know or remember Dr. Laura?

i could tell you shit, but let's just Wikipedia her:

Laura Catherine Schlessinger is an American cultural and moral commentator, most known as host of the popular Dr. Laura radio advice call-in show.

Schlessinger is an outspoken critic of practices that she feels have become too prevalent in contemporary American culture. These include: sex outside of marriage, living together before marriage (referred to by her as "shacking up"), intentional single parenthood, daycare in lieu of a parent staying home to raise their children, mothers working outside the home while the children are still young, marrying quickly or at a young age, permissive parenting, abortion, euthanasia, easy or no-fault divorce, and same-sex marriage.

and now just click on this. feminist?? biatch!!

bone crush!

that's kate bosworth, by the way.

all our hopes are pinned upon you

i saw this episode years ago, and now it may come true. nyahahaha.

balance of power

last time, she kicked ass. this time, her ass gets kicked.

You want to know when the end of the world will be?

It's next year when scientists try to replicate the Big Bang. See you on the other side, jabronis.

A change of seasons

Damn those ancient Sumerians! Their gas-guzzling SUVs and coal-fired factories!!!

Woof woof means 'I love you'

Oh boy, Walters is losing it. Maybe she's taking the fact that Katie Couric sits at anchor for a major network's news show too hard.

Take that, you cartilagenous murderers!!!

Steve Irwin's last words mustve been, "Avenge me..."

lonelygirl15

dive in to the mystery ....

bushwhacked!

download a copy fast!

internet killed the TV star

why settle for a few channels? throw your tele away and get yourself an internet TV. 600 free channels!

NSFW! or not!

now THIS one's for real.

wrrrr wrrrr

would you watch the remake starring him?



*my own answer: only if they give KITT a witty sarcastic personality upgrade, lethal state-of-the-art weaponry, and make it the ... villain. and Michael Knight defeats the car by singing "Secret Agent Man" but gets lasered in the ass.

just in case you wanted to know, this is the original. The Hoff has good taste (hwakkk tuiii).

The vPod

30,000 songs, 50,000 photos, and 300 hours of video.

It hasta la vista to the 2-inch screen in this new video iPod from those geeks at Apple.

you're out of order!

for all you religious nuts out there.

unbelievable

Yeah, unbelieveable is right!
Originally uploaded by stevegan.

it's really peanut butter jelly flavored mustard.

fox fight news

there's justice all around ... a white-collar criminal gets arrested, a snoopy journalist gets pummelled. beautiful.

Suri

too bad, Tom Cruise, but William Hung was first.

the real force

Mousercise

test your searching skills and see if you can find the culprit.

Support our, er, fish!

Protecting America has never been this... wet.

Move over, Rambo. The latest weapon in the war against terror is a fish.

Fire!!!

Another one not too safe for lunch.

Frag, why does it look like that??

CHUMBYWUMBY!!!

slow justice

nyhahahahahahahaha!

i thought i'd never see (or read of) the day ...



hopefully, this is just the start and will end up in a flaming crash somewhere in Death Valley, people cheering across the world, and final confirmed dental identification of demise.

speaking of slow justice, this one's festering too. its about time someone just flat-out speak about this tactless shallow bitch.

oouuch!

A yellow card??

A yellow? Are you friggin kiddin me, ref? He damn near took his head off!

Top 10 horror football (that's soccer to you, Grif) tackles.

Crikey!

Rest in peace, Steve. You will be missed.

feast your eyes on this!

do you want to see something beautiful and new everyday? then make this your home page.

trick turner part 2

now this is even better!!!


turn on the volume a bit, and watch till the end. a little NSFW ... or maybe half. hey, its the magic trick!!!

what's your catch phrase?

No USA - Argentina Finals, folks.

Because the Yanks lose to Greece!

I love it when these spoiled millionaires get their asses whupped. Maybe they won't act like friggin prima donnas next time. (Yeah, right.)

trick turner

amaze your friends!

Aint just Mickey's dog

Bah! Demote the god of the Underworld, will they? His minions will surely raise, well, hell.

Lighten up, will ya?

Remember that Sex and Shanghai blog Delphi forwarded a few months back?

Turns out it's a hoax.

It's ruffling a few feathers in the uber-nationalistic Chinese.

Go and multiply

here's an illustrated guide on how to make a baby.

Made for toilet

Only in the Philippines.

Dubyah rocks!!

John Lennon would be so proud.

scoop!

first pic of Cruise-Holmes baby!!!! not kidding!!!

NSFW! or Lunch!

holy mother of soul!!!

i mean ... geez!!! i can't imagine conjuring any R.E.S.P.E.C.T. right now.

Two of the toughest fighters in the world...

... and the Japs managed to make them look gay.

SFW although it doesnt look it.

emmy o'brien

only caught the latter part last night (yeah, 24!!!)

thank you, YouTube (the new MTV)!




and here's one that got past the censors ... seriously, she was mugging for the cameras last night and that seemed closer to how her character would behave (vapid machinegun Kelly)

pancit

somewhere in the Manila, some kids could be singing this.

weep, motherland, weep.

wherevah!

for your height only

weeks ago, i posted about the mini-gun being developed by a Swiss company and wondered who would use such tiny weapon. turns out it's the weapon of choice of the Philippine's vertically-challenged super spy known only as agent 00. he kicks ass and gets the chicks! check out the video clip.

dell.iCious

in the wake of the respective Dell and Apple recalls of their laptop batteries, let us recap the spectacular events that prompted such.





as covered by endgadget and kcci.


of course, there will still be some stupid people who would do this.

so, word of advice, don't get into a fight with your gadgets, and don't leave your laptops plugged too long unsupervised (especially if its a Dell).

dance mofo

just to pile on with Tom Cruise' recent axing by Paramount ... a look back at one of last year's YouTube highlights.



man, that short alien is a dancing machine, baby!!!

creepy! 2.0

crap! this could've been me! i should start being more anti-social, stay online 24/7, and lurk in sleazier places on the 'net, than posting on blogs like these!

stop dialling that 1-800 number

this is what you get for $2.99 a minute.

sus!

sushmita sen ... hottie?

man. un-man.

i'm #7!!!!!

and you may be one of these 10!!! (admit it, you want to be Banner)

nyahahahahaha!

mimi

note: turn the volume up then click on pic.

geek food

USB Bar-b-q, anybody?

coming soon ...

... to a comic store near you.



dibs!!!!

silent library

another japanese game show that proves how weird they are.

kitako-k-k

More Transformers toys/concept art for upcoming movie.

Better yet, join the TFW2005 message boards.

feel the magic, hear the roar

WTF?? now its Josie and the Thundercats???


i can see it now ... Lion-O breaks his Guitar of Omens on Mumm-Ra's head, winning the Thundera Battle of the Bands 2007.

ice bitch

there's more where Björk came from:



Silvía Night (nee Ágústa Eva Erlendsdóttir), Icelandic popstar, being outrageous like any celebrity.

the third reich is here

the third reich is alive and kicking in india and hongkong.

NSFW: dangerous kurbs ahead

black snake moan

Samuel Jackson's next movie will also have some "snakes" involved, but hey, as long as he gets some of these, eh?




yeah, the subject line is the movie.

die die die

yuck, kids! crabs are not good for YOU!!!!

shit, if i were a clueless 7 year-old and they were pushing this as part of Banco Filipino's Happy Savers Club (which they did back in '79 - freaking Sanrio and Hello Kitty were the rage), i'd go back in time and kill all those marketing reps.

Human drama

Mr. God vs. Mr. Gay on Vimeo

Place bets now!

Awwwwritely then!

will this be the beginning of the end of MS Word?

Transformers roll call

the list of Transformer characters that will appear in the movie is revealed today. i'm surprised to see a very short list. i don't even recognize some of the Decepticons. where are the familiar ones like Soundwave, Shockwave, and Thundercracker?

Autobots		Decepticons
Optimus Prime		Megatron
Bumblebee		Starscream
Jazz		Brawl
Ratchet		Bonecrusher
Ironhide		Skorpinok
		Frenzy
		Blackout
		Barricade

Rate her

the search for a vampiriella.

ricky!

download me!

bushy!

got this from a colleague. try it!



search engines usually look for keywords within a website, and the more keywords, the higher probability of the hit. meta-tags, which the owner or writer of the website can set in the headers, to be able to get picked up immediately by search engines, can also be crucial in this regard (especially vendor sites).

so what does the above tell us - there are too many instances of the word in the site, or the website authors purposely, made sure, that such a keyword would have a high relevancy rate for search engines?

of course, if you switch the same search to Images mode, you-know-who's pic is also gonna appear (just not the White House site).

woozy!

i see drunk people!!!!

who's next? dakota fanning?

creepy!

suspected JonBenet killer John Mark Karr.

and he fled to Bangkok. why am i not surprised? bitch probably has had lots of boygirls since.

An end to Hwak Tu?

All I can say is 'good luck'

Eis Eis Kleinkind

digital? or truth? (purportedly Geneva in winter)



yeeech. i don't wanna live there.

lucky there's a ...

cool mash-up!

useless big stick

speak softly, but carry a big stick ... TR assumed those who use this adage would be smart enough ...

lookin' fer a hound dawg

the prince and the puppies

who cares if they're fake?! dude's a man!!! awright!!!!


wait ... the girl looks like their mum!!!
just kidding.

spelling bee zombies

spelling with zombies