your future men's room

kids these days

shit, that's it, i'm moving to ... where the hell am i moving to??

bored?

take a break. play pat-ping-pong.

for Anne H fans

p***y in her cleavage (NSFW)

not about nothing

take a break, learn.

stay home

a tale of woe

spot the two ex-employees!

What? 600 thousand dollars?

I guess the Navy is afraid of offending Jesus. He was Jewish after all.

Take that, Alicia!

some people dont need it

crap. the end is near.

because no one wants to pay

ok, start ogling ...

and share the results with your pals.

Hah!

According to this, there are twice as many men as women on the brightest 2% of the population.

Not so fast, though, hoss. It also says there are twice as many men as women in the least intelligent 2%.

How to explain this?

One theory holds that men seek to boost their intelligence, to make themselves
more attractive to females, while women’s chances of reproducing depend less
on their perceived intelligence.

That theory of course is poppycock. Men's motivation for boosting intelligence is not to make themselves more attractive to women. How many books have you read for the express purpose of being more attractive to the opposite sex, eh? These science nerds, sometimes I dont know what planet theyre on. Men dont boost their intelligence to be more attractive. Everyone knows that in order to achieve that, you boost your physique.

Why do men seek to boost their intelligence then? For its own sake, hoss. For its own sake. Now hand me that beer.

I, ahhhhhhh... am going to ummmm...

No wonder Ray Langit had a huge fanbase. His delivery was impeccable and is much imitated in radio reporting.

At-ahhhh andito na po ang-ahhhhh pangulo saahhhhh kubeta at-ahhhh tumatae.

killjoy

Pluto goes wild

related story.

addenda on the Dutch and bicycles.

parallelogram

so all these nerds who write our favorite funnybooks may really not be smoking weed after all.

Hoveround by Tom Cruise

geriatrics like to get around and play.

hidden agenda

which means you'd feel cheated when you seal the deal

Adeus, tukayo

And as a tribute to the Special One, here are a couple of goodbyes.

when to hold off

... no, this is not about sex, dummy.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...

... I rest my case.

Mr. Crocker, your 15 minutes starts... now. Good luck.

Role models

From Crackle: Role Models

after the overtime

The Dutch are doing great

Im sure it's a sign of a country's progress when one of its top universities is doing research on how a bicycle works.

For nearly 150 years, scientists have been puzzled by the bicycle. How on earth is it possible that a moving bicycle can, all by itself, be so stable? Researchers of the Delft University of Technology (TU Delft), working with colleagues from Cornell University and the University of Nottingham, UK, believe they have now found the ultimate model of the bicycle.

Let me clue you in, science guys, that is if you would take the advice from a non-scientist from a third-world country. It isnt the bicycle that's making it stable. It's the fella riding it. Youre investigating the wrong thing. Shee-friggin-eesh!!

The sun is the center of our solar system. Moving around it are the planets

Come on, France. Even our little kids know the answer to this. And most of them dont even need Promil.

It just had to happen

I suppose, in the spirit of the original [cough cou-fake-ough], somebody had to defend Chris Crocker, too.

Seth Green: Leave Chris Crocker Alone!

Well, now

Another witness comes forward with testimony on the 'pulling' of WTC 7. This was the building that wasnt hit but fell oh so neatly into its own footprint after the Twin Towers collapsed.

I remember that videotape of Osama in a cave where they gloated and praised God for the Twin Towers' collapse. He said according to their people's calculations, only the floors above where the planes hit would collapse. The fact that the entire structure of the Twin Towers collapsed, again neatly into their own footrpints, he attributed to divine intervention.

Well there couldve been intervention, but it sure wasnt divine.

Always a sure harbinger...

... of future obscurity. Once you do these ads, you disappear from Fame city. Like...ummm.. whatsername...and.. that chick...and that other chick.

with friends like these ...

Gee, you think?

And here we are complaining of single digit inflation.

Despite the fall, Zimbabwe's inflation remains by far the highest in the world.

You dont say!

Love 'em or hate 'em, the darn thing's 25 years old

:-)

access denied! priceless!

note to time bandit: AOL is for n00bs. here is your Tara Reid video link.

and just in case you didnt know, ActiveX is evil.

Japanese nuts

pimpin' aint easy!!!

singing can sure make you hungry

shopping with time bandit's girl

have taser, you obey, or else.

Trans-dimensional gaming

Numerous reports like this have been cropping up everywhere, and the latest is this Chinese guy.

A man in southern China appears to have died of exhaustion after a three-day Internet gaming binge, state media said Monday.

Pfsh! They arent dead. They just crossed over into the alternate universe where the game resides so they can experience it first-hand without the keyboard, mouse, and monitor interface. Nothing like holding that sword, donning that armor, and rescuing that damsel in the high tower. Or racing against the best drivers in F1. The best thing to do is hold off on the autopsy and embalming for at least a couple of days just in case the gamer decides to return to our dimension. And they have to be made aware of the 48-hour time limit. The internet cafe doesnt have unlimited storage space, you know. If the 48 hour limit passes and said gamer still hasnt returned, then declare him legally dead. Dead to our dimension at least. He's probably having the time of his life in the other one.

a real asshole

ISH #50 (Friday Edition)

kicking it at number 50, we have perfect weapon to keep our freedoms intact, here and abroad. did i say "a broad"? well, ok ... a broad.

Is She Hot?

ANGELA McLIN

we have very few photos of this gal. but what we learned was: do not mess with her in pingpong. seriously. we're sure you're just gonna get a bad case of balls of fury. but if you insist, then be our guest. i surmise that if she's on the losing end, she can do this. and then you go down (or up).


and with this, ISH bids adieu for the interim, because scouting is a serious profession and demands on our person has left little time to do take scouting seriously. we don't want the quality (???) and integrity (?????) of these posts to be compromised. we hope to see you, loyal readers (yes all 2 of you), down the road for version 2.0. maybe. just always pray at night.

Like Mike

Glad to see this guy's back, after that ill-advised move to Real Madrid, and a string of career-threatening injuries. The only thing left to do now is marry somebody from Pussycat Dolls or something.

predator

and i thought it was because they got tired of being bullied by the apes.

We may have to rethink that old adage...

...that women belong in the kitchen.

They may look easy enough, but the recipes of Nigella Lawson and Delia Smith are actually very tricky to follow, a Government study has found. By contrast, their male counterparts write recipes so simple they can be understood by a young child.

I dont know about you, but I do find Nigella a bit too distracting on TV. Couldnt concentrate on the recipes.

Heroes. Fuck 'em!

As the lunch rush started Monday, waiter Juan Canales stopped a carjacker from taking a woman's Honda CRV out of the parking lot where he worked.

Hours later he lost his job.

Why, you ask? Because the owner of the restaurant he worked for didnt like the attention. The conversation prolly went something like, "You looky hee. Me no-like my waitess takee piss a wood and stop cahjekkehs. Cust-mahs skehd o dat shit! You fahyd!"

Prolly another case of "Against company policy." As in: What if something happened to my worker who's only trying to protect the property of my customers who're my source of income? You mean to stick me with the hospital bills and shit? You outta your frickin' mind, hoss!

Everyone's a critic

Ok so you didnt like Ms Spears's performance at the MTV awards, but come on, man. Dont you think youre taking this music critic thing a bit too far?

ish-rael!

should they not have tamed the raging Islamic terrorists by now?

women are from venus. and mars.

and now, another word about our favorite teachers.

deal with you?

just who are you?

the war on whatever

why Guy Richie lost his mojo

trojans! (not those)

pack up your things, and head underground!

wotta croc.

ISH #49 (Tuesday Edition)

on the anniversary of this American generation's Pearl Harbor, let's put a bold face against the enemies (real and imaginary) of freedom (yes, even the homegrown ones sitting in power). here's a big F.U. to them all.

Is She Hot?

SUSANN

shoot them up. shoot them up. shoot them up. (okay, that's a great plug right there)

awright!!!

instant classic!

trailer parked

BSG Razor

Really, is MTV still relevant?

There was once a time when music videos were being hailed as a new art form, short films based on popular music, and MTV ushered in the new medium with The Buggles' Video Killed the Radio Star. Soon it started to take over. Gone were the days when the music was all that mattered. Now it was all about marketing, and image, and packaging. Artists were now commodities, and individuality gave way to homogeneity. Rock was no longer rebellious. It turned into boring mainstream and one band sounds like another. And videos turned so boring that MTV itself showed less and less of them, opting for shows that featured stupid human tricks.

And as a tribute to that downward spiral, MTV keeps churning out its Video Music Awards. And as if to rub it into the collective faces of what counts as their fans--fans whose tastes they themselves have created--they have foisted this chick on all of them.

And even they were bored.

Mr. Timberlake, in his acceptance speech when he won for some award, said, "I want to challenge MTV to play more videos!" He couldnt have been more wrong. More videos won't revitalize the music industry. More doesnt equal better. It all starts with the music, then after that talent. Bigger budgets and special effects won't do it. Dancing sluts won't do it either. MTV, to really revitalize popular music, should disappear.

And again I say unto thee... DUH!!

Holy crap, what a scientific breakthrough!!

"The children were much better than the apes in understanding nonverbal
communications, imitating another's solution to a problem and
understanding the intentions of others," she said.

Dead Sea

so there were survivors.

a pervert's must-have.

soon well be back to dial-up.

here come the Veritechs

maybe he can shed light on protoculture.

i'm sure you'd still ask me to download HSM2.

ISH #48 (Friday Edition)

Steve Jobs rolls out new iSomethings every six months. we roll out hot ladies here every 4 days. well, "hot" is relative. that's why you're here to vote.

Is She Hot?

ERIKA JORDAN

ok, here's a decision for you: get an iPhone, or get this? if you picked the latter, you may get an extra bonus. if not, well ... let's just say you better have spectacular evasion skills.

as if we didn't have enough stupidity

let me repeat .... DUH!

i am da pulis!

from the state that brought you the smart girl who said Americans can't read a map.

now that we're all sober ...

Speaking of porn

This really isnt about porn. This is about our rights, dammit! Thousands have died so you can enjoy your porn collection. No one, not even the government, has a right to confiscate them. Let's hear it for this freedom-loving patriot!

Freeee-e-e-eeedom!!

It aint just factory workers

It turns out microwave popcorn can kill you, too.

I dont know about you, but real, pure creamery, cholesterol rich butter is still best for popcorn. Why someone would settle for the synthetic, chemical butter is beyond me. Pop your corn normally, place a huge dab of butter while hot, put on some porn, and youre good to go.

(Did I say porn? I meant The Sound of Music.)

really!? you don't say! no way!

done DEAL!

top 10 Star Wars clips

courtesy of Robot Chicken.

don't go to this island.

super hero me!

their Jesus Cruise won't like this.

and i thought naked sushi was pushing it.

wait, should i say "duh!"?

ratings thru the roof. praise 'em females.

Wolverine's kinda chick.

ISH #47 (Tuesday Edition)

we all know about celebrities misbehaving. even though we get weary of the tabloid fodder, we still get curious who's the next car wreck. although, somehow the wrecks are more glamorous on the other side of the pond. or maybe its just because i don't live there. our next candidate might be one of those. if not, no harm done (she poses for what they call lads' mags ... that's FHM for you). if so, well, you read it here first.

Is She Hot?

BIANCA GASCOIGNE

she could look like this and still avoid the scorn heaped upon Brit-Brit. and to think she's a real Brit. and if she does this in Jones Beach, they'd have to cordon off the whole of Long Island. in honor of Labor Day here (wonder if she's a card-carrying member of Labour), here's one to ease your burdens. or maybe not.

72 hours later

the real Frank West

See? Let them surf, dammit!

It helps productivity.

American workers stay longer in the office, at the factory or on the farm than their counterparts in Europe and most other rich nations, and they produce more per person over the year.

They also get more done per hour than everyone but the Norwegians, according to a U.N. report released Monday, which said the United States "leads the world in labor productivity."

oh well. should i be surprised?

good. whiny problem child, watch out!

Becks is an ugly boy.

it just gets harder

kitakokiki 2

back to school.

jersey boys

New Jersey is an enigma. being the fictional (hello, Tony) and real life (hello, you ... goombahs) home to mobsters (and Springsteen. and Bon Jovi.), it ranks among the richest U.S. states (and even with all that undeclared income). but then it also boasts of three of the most dangerous cities in America, despite also having a city ranked #1 as the safest.

so it just means, you may be rich, but you're not really safe.

prison break. not.

according to this study, despite the general decline of crime rates, there is still an increasing trend in imprisonment rates. there were about 2.25 million Americans in U.S. prisons (as of December last year), which counts for 1/4 of the world's inmates (is that counting Guantanamo too?). that magic number dwarfs even the population of several countries, like Estonia and some African states.

here's an interesting stat: a third of that 2.25M are violent criminals, while the rest are just plain vanilla. so instead of clogging jails, can the US use these 750,000 psychos to fight their overt and covert wars instead? they might win too. i'm just saying (hello, they have been doing that, but not on a larger scale). the real problem with that is controlling them. well, that's easy: implant them with devices that give them an aneurysm if they disobey. that'll teach 'em. if this works, the military won't even have to worry about recruitment or body bags or public opinion. you do the crime, you do the time - fighting for Uncle Sam.


somebody, somewhere is already writing a movie script.

a helping hand

well, no, sorry, you're too late. the girl already "found" her camera.

hey, is she hot?