Jerry Seinfeld may be next.

quikpod

another pod is available for use with your camera!

Wii is not for the squeamish

here's a website showing injuries resulting from playing Wii. tougher gamers are required for Wii.

The wonders of soy

NOT!! Soy makes you gay!

(If this shit is true, then a cursory check of Japan or China would indicate a larger proportion of gay men vis-a-vis the total population. They should also have a higher incidence of cancer. Or a problem with obesity even more prevalent than the US. Or maybe soy only affects paranoid Americans. Nyahahahahaa!!)

#1 Movie!!!

A new era for South Africa...

... when they elect Chuck Norris as president.

back to the future

tell your future self how you screwed today up by not calling "The One", getting that one-night stand pregnant, discovering you got crabs from a hooker, receiving an eviction notice from your landlord, and your parents disowning you.

with any luck, your future self won't get to read it 'cause he'd be scrounging coins for the next meal and wouldn't have enough to pay the internet cafe.

ef

THIS is Shakira?!?


and also, why men keep cheating on the Aniston.

So you want to know how big the Millennium Falcon is eh?

Or the Enterprise? Or Galactica? Have I got a site for you.

CNET's loss

when i saw his face on the news, i thought i recognized the man who died looking for help for his family. true enough, he was the guy giving product reviews at CNET.

kakana-kana

on one hand, it seems ironic that the indians are buying something (back) from the white man. on the other, it just reinforces the notion that they have no other options except to run casinos.

i'll be there for you. (pause) not.

and that's why Brad is Angelina's slave. Wait, why the frak is this news, again???

Great chili, man

Fart forces plane to land.

(As I was reading this, I thought, Please God, dont let it be Grifter, Delphi, or the Dude.)

GalaxyQuest!

track your friends, enemies, etc.

holy crap!!! it was just a matter of time!!!

http://www.phonetrace.org

He's alright, he's alright, alright. Shamu, the mysterious whale

Right. If you won't set the whale free, at least give him a bigger trailer, on-call masseuse, and more mackerel. That is, if you dont want this to happen.

top viral video

and i thought the world had forgotten about him.

crab n' ho explosion

if we could allow Iran or North Korea to fire one missile at the U.S., hopefully it would be at these coordinates:




or maybe a meteor? spontaneous combustion? anything involving a means to their end? please, Lord?

The Simpsons - Da Ali G Show Parody

what's next? Borat? Bruno?

80's cartoons orgy

dismembered

a Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation. perhaps the Vatican should order all priests to do the same so there won't be anymore lawsuits.

what the hell was that monk meditating on anyway?

about time

Kramer's MySpace

To: MySpace Customer Service

From: Michael Richards

Re: Profile Glitches

Hey – MySpace guys,

I don't know what's going on, but I checked my MySpace page this afternoon and all of my friends were just suddenly gone. Like, almost everybody – totally vanished. That guy "Tom" wasn't even there anymore, and I thought he had to be friends with everybody.

It must be some kind of server problem or something, right?

I put a profile up on MySpace about eight months ago and since then I've accumulated something like 16,000 friends from all over the world. But when I checked today, it was just Seinfeld and a few other guys I don't even remember adding, like DocMartenMan and ArchieBunker12. There was some bald guy called Curb Job who I thought might be Larry David at first, but when I clicked on his photo he looked way too young. Plus the caption underneath said he hated the Jews.

So... can you guys get back to me about this? I hope it's just a glitch or something.

Sincerely,

Michael

****

To: Michael Richards

From: MySpace Tech Support

Re: Profile "Glitches"

We regret to inform you, Mr. Richards, that there has been no "technical glitch" in your profile. We believe that almost all of your Friends have simply decided to remove themselves from your page, thus ending your virtual Friendships. Maybe you did something to make them all mad – we're not sure. However, we are all glad to hear that Seinfeld has hung in there with you.

On the plus side, our technicians have reported that Mel Gibson wants to add you as a Friend. Apparently, somebody overheard him say "Finally – a celebrity that's more racist than me."

HAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN!!

Screw you, Richards – you suck now, and all of your old Seinfeld episodes suck now, too. Anytime you make a wacky entrance into Jerry's apartment now, we're not gonna laugh, we're just gonna think about how much you hate black people.

Sincerely,

The MySpace Tech Support Team

***

From: Michael Richards

To: MySpace Tech Support

Re: Ha ha

Okay, okay. I get it. You're heckling me. Well, look – I’m not flying off the handle about it. I'm able to keep my composure in the face of criticism, believe it or not. Although I should point out that almost everybody with half a brain has already made that Mel Gibson joke. Even Leno has probably already done that one.

Anyway, I honestly thought that maybe something was technically wrong with my profile, but thanks for clearing that up for me. Also, you telling me to "screw off" clues me in to the fact that you're probably not too happy with what I've done, so... if it means anything, I'm sorry if I offended anybody on the MySpace tech team.

It's very hard to explain these things, these behaviors. All I can say is that I got very, very angry with some hecklers, so I said the worst possible things I could say to them, the most horrible stuff I could think of. I think we all have access to these racist words and thoughts, just by virtue of growing up in American society. We have access to these types of things, and sometimes they just come out, though luckily for most, not in a public forum.

Throughout my life – as a child growing up, as a former military man, and as a white man in general – I've been privy to an enormous number of racial slurs and stereotypes. I mean, I've heard really, really rotten shit about Afro-Americans, Asians, Mexicans, Polish people and almost everybody else you can think of. I don't usually agree with it, but it's out there. I've heard it. And I know better than to repeat that garbage, not only because I don't want to promote it, but also because I know that it can really hurt the people that that type of stuff is directed at. However, it's that exact repression of language, that knowledge of its impact, that can cause a person to finally belt out all of the hateful words and ideas stored in their head when driven to an extreme point of rage. I think anybody who's ever cursed to themselves in traffic can understand that. It's having the power of the forbidden words, the knife-like ideas – sometimes it just comes out all over the place, and it doesn't necessarily reflect the way a person really is or how a person really feels.

So – I hope that maybe you can understand the position that I'm in, and accept my apology. It was never my intention to hurt so many people.
Now, on to other technical matters. I'm having another problem with my profile that maybe you can help me with. I want to add the caption "I totally love niggers" to my photo, but I don't know how to bold it. Can you tell me how to do that?

*Source.*

Secret agent men

looks like the American secret service is no match for Argentinian crooks.

Starbucks' new image

XBox, here i come!

the real Kramer

watch your favorite Seinfeld character go ape shit.

give them a taste of their own medicine

how to prank your telemarketer.

360 comes full circle

did i read this correctly? a real-time strategy (RTS) on a gaming console? Command and Conquer on an X-Box? this, not to mention Halo and Dead Rising, makes X-Box a better choice than PS3, don't you agree?

adult toy for the younger generation

i blogged about an inappropriate toy last month, now i've found another. this one looks like a phallus. we've sunk so low.

$hit$

are we supposed to be envious, curious, or what? why was this article even written?

Alyssa Milano charms Dr. Doom!

FM

why do we give airtime to this FUCKING MURDERER*????




* cause no one has the fucking balls to call him out

Ro-Borat ka rin!

15 minutes is just about over ...

pod war

another pod is on the market. personally, i still think the one i use is more versatile.

boogeyman

this perv probably got the idea from a seinfeld episode.

Sex On a Plane!

The Ultimates

this just in: the Ultimate Avengers are ultimate dicks!

have faith in your music

looks better than the Shuffle.

just desserts

Borat is still no. 1 at the box office but not everyone is happy.

Geek Bathtub... WTF?

it's a dog eat dog world

this definitely pays more than Fear Factor.

bye, don!

lost

idiots

ehhh-?

know what you can do so you can avoid being subjected to humiliation? then don't do anything you otherwise "wouldn't engage in" (while sober).

New Spideyman Trailer

here

guess who? (NSFW)

i was in the French stinker 1001 Nights. who am i?

eau de toilet

a bit long, but worth it ...

made in hollywood

NSFW (ahh you damn prudes ...)

made in the Philippines

available in a Walmart near you.

Let's jump into the Borat Bandwagon....

The Real Borat is suing

the secret origin of Borat

he used to be Cristoph the Albanian!

Only in Japan....

ohaiyo gozaimasu!!!

wakarai Mr.T GPS navigation...

wooootah!!!!!

* available beside Sake, Beru and Used-Panty Machine Dispenser.. HAAAAI!!!!

Ipod Goobers... errr.. Gurus

apparently.. some genius lifted this off the US patent office

Robotech Exosuits

eat your heart out Honda.

Borat's first cousin

for benefit of backyard lawn.

sketch of a woman

is the world ready for this?

light's out

now it's western europe's turn

A bestial Potter!

your doctor friend as a teenager is gay!

Kim Condemns Sunrise

PYONGYANG, North Korea (o) -- Increasingly defiant toward international pressure since his nation's first nuclear test in early October, North Korean leader Kim Jong Il condemned this morning's sunrise, calling it "another hostile, deliberately timed act by the world community" and "a clear and blatant declaration of war."

... Continue reading article.

borat #1!

go postal! (NSFW)

and people whine too much.

WTF????

lonely Wonder Woman

lonelygirl15 for the amazon role? this must be a joke!

Starbucks Universe

hanky pankydermy

elephants raping rhinoceroses? how is that possible???

they killed crikey! you bastards!

a new hope

Pole position

because children are our future, parents should teach them while their young.

Only Chuck Norris can kick Chuck Norris's ass

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

This and other facts about the world's favorite Texas Ranger.

So desu ne it begins

Looks like I spoke too soon about media companies looking to YouTube as a marketing ally instead of an enemy. Faced with lawsuits from a Japanese entertainment group, YouTube purges 30,000 Japanese videos from its site. No more quirky Japanese game shows, folks. It'll take a few more bonehead plays like this to rob YouTube of its charm.

impossible is nothing

after the Star Wars Kid fiasco, you'd think people would be careful of what they post on the internet. unfortunately, there's still lots of pathetic people out there. even stupid if the person came from Yale. like Ghyslain, narcissistic Aleksey Vayner is suing for his own stupidity.

baby you can park my car

first it was the hybrid car, now Toyota's made a car that parks itself! i won't be surprise if Toyota becomes the first to make a flying car.

burn, baby, burn!

a hobby for pyromaniacs. soon, LEGO will be banned from airplanes too.

South Park WoW

best South Park episode ever!

do you like watching girls?

you'd better not be in this site!

We need another one of these...

... like we need a hole in the head. While Dunkin Donuts tries to encroach into Krispy Kreme territory, Krispy Kreme is soon going to make inroads into the Philippine donut scene. And I think it's being marketed as an upscale brand here, whereas it's just another donut stop in the US. Go figure. Our love of all things trashily American is giving KK an alta sociedad feel back here in the colony, and we indios dont mind just as long as we get a slice of that American Pie, or in this case, donut. It's brilliant marketing, I have to admit. DD has carved a niche here as an affordable, unpretentious, cholesterol and trans-fatty acid laden treat, perfect for the masa-to-lower-middles with a sweet tooth and an extra buck. KK has to differentiate itself from the rabble, even as I suspect there's nothing different about it, except for the breathless word-of-mouth recommendation of Kuya or Ate who works in a hospital in Texas as a nurse even though he or she is a licenced MD here in the islands.

As for me, give me a good old bibingka, and Im good to go.

Holy mother, theyll kill us all!!!!

Proof that stingrays communicate with each other. After Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray barb to the chest, word got around the stingray community: Barb. Chest. Kill. Human. Let's-get-em.

I say enough of this war on terror. Let's kill all stingrays before they kill us all!! Call the UN. Call Nato. Call double-oh-seven!

he was moved by cheese

So It Begins. Not.

here's why music companies won't be a threat.


this makes Mark Cuban a little hasty (to say the least) in saying that "only a moron will buy YouTube."

Finally!

Internet Explorer 7 is here!!

All together now: Whodahell cares? Nyahahahahaa!!

So it begins

Now that Google has bought YouTube for a gazillion dollars, record companies smell blood, and as such are embarking on a dress rehearsal by suing small upstarts for practice.

Google better be on their toes.

Ah, the wonders of science

Scientists create a new element.

Created by smashing calcium (to give the element strong bones and teeth) with the man-made element Californium (to give the element breast implants), the new element lasted for a millisecond. It is as yet unnamed, although I have a suggestion. Call it Hudapakcaresium.

Too Much Headshots

Superman Lives!

Breakfast of champions

Tips for better pancakes.

Like yo' momma used to make.

A history of home computers...

... according to ads.

(500+ dollars for 64k? Nyahahahahaa! Those were the days.)

Can't Wait To Die? Try This!

Slasher Joys!

More 9-11 mysteries

Itsh a conshpirashy, I tellsh ya.

Trying to come up with 'more plausible' explanations for the mysteries in this site could be a fun exercise.

asimiento me

doesn't it just bring back memories?



now i gotta go find my headband ... NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Soon, youll need lots of sunlight to keep your beer cold

Solar-powered refrigerator wins environmental award.

SolarChill refrigerators don't need batteries or a connection to the electrical grid - they store power in three 60W voltaic panels. They do however have an AC/DC converter, which provides flexibility to use wind, hydropower, bio-gas or grid energy (and even a car battery!) when there is not enough sun. The coolers are also energy efficient because they have excellent insulation. They don't contribute to global warming thanks to the special hydrocarbon system made by our friends at DTI and their partners.

Another reason to dump your Friendster account

From web's next best thing to 'What's that?' in 3 short years, Friendster is being kept alive by Pinoys.

you know i'm bad

what?? i thought it would've been Menudo, German Moreno, or Ferdinand Marcos.


oh ... cartoons.

Finally... we get to see puppies

Scroll all the way down...

Jessica Is A Good Dresser... mein gott!!!!

Hooray!!!!

Fight! Fight!!

Album covers duke it out!