losing your religion

maybe if the other religions were in charge and had money, they'd poke fun at themselves too. or be a bit self-critical.

yeah, after you effed it up.

dumb and dumberer.

twits

maybe the witnesses needed a Twitter account to actually realize what the hell they were witnessing?

Eh? What did you think it was before?

Some kind of spa treatment?

“It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that’s no joke,” Mancow said. “It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back… It was instantaneous… and I don’t want to say this: absolutely torture.”

$70 movie. take that, George Romero.

annoyed with your kids?

Steven Seagal has the solution for you!

everybody loves clowns, right?

don't worry, Republicans don't read this rag anyway.

killer queen

let me guess ... more reasons to denounce Western decadence and depravity, along with the repression of female rights.

2 girls, 1 sub

Thanks, Quiznos & Playboy.

hey ... laugh away.

because that's what the Internetz is for.

the truth behind nursery rhymes.

creepy places

let's start shooting movies here.

shit, i thought you got arrested!

are you a Twit? well then, here are your new friends.

problem with big hooters

no, you are NOT Lion-O! I AM Lion-O!

can't sleep?

this one's for you!

so, tell me you visited this place before you went home.

a fishy story.

N.E.R.D.

yes, you can still live even after you kick the bucket! this capitalist world will still make money from your ashes - hwahahahahahaha!

Sony hates the Internets.

proof that San Francisco will soon slide into the sea

well, if anything, you can get tips from the article. or not.

quick solution: make and bring your own coffee.

some just don't know how to quit

hypocrites. and lay off the mutt, jerks.

as to why MTV is still on air ...

... there really must be an audience, and they are dumb.

die die die!

next up: a food recession/health crisis

oh holy God, no.

the most obvious answer is ... Spider-Man!

parenting 101

well, you wouldn't want the kid to go to brothels by himself, would you?

oh, it was the real kind of cougar!

Mentos, the freshmaker!

Debbie Gibson's comeback performance!

They prolly use it as fertilizer

Bullshit, I mean. I have no empirical evidence to support my conclusion but this report just smells like bullshit.

And in one of those displays of astute observation and logic, 'officials' give us this gem:

The stronger marijuana is of particular concern because high concentrations of THC have the opposite effect of low concentrations, officials say.

Oh, snap! Their intelligence just blows me away. How do they do it?

Your tax dollars at work

So let me get this straight: You working stiffs bail out the fat-cats at GM so they dont have to fold and not fire workers, right? GM gladly accepts the money and plans to use it to buy Chinese cars so they can sell them to you? Tell me why you bailed them out in the first place?

f*k your health! we want your $$$!

o-ho-ho-ho! by proxy, Big Pharma is bullying ... cereal!

closing time

attention: psychos, rapists and killers! aren't you going to protest?

lighten up, O'Reilly!

why not? think of all the cool critters that could come out of it.

FSWay kayo ha!

shouldn't they use the money to er, set the girls up for proper educational training for alternative income-generating careers (e.g., nursing)?

More scientific bullshitery

Really, scientists? You dont see the utter absurdity of this?

Free will, or at least the place where we decide to act, is sited in a part of the brain called the parietal cortex, new research suggests.

When a neurosurgeon electrically jolted this region in patients undergoing surgery, they felt a desire to, say, wiggle their finger, roll their tongue or move a limb. Stronger electrical pulses convinced patients they had actually performed these movements, although their bodies remained motionless.

Let me get this straight. You jolt a part of the brain and they feel a desire to move something. How is that free will?

"What it tells us is there are specific brain regions that are involved in the consciousness of your movement," says Angela Sirigu, a neuroscientist at the CNRS Cognitive Neuroscience Centre in Bron, France, who led the study.

Right. And duh. There are specific regions in the brain that are involved in consciousness of movement. Explain again what this has to do with free will, please. Right now I am conscious of typing words for this post. It still doesnt answer the question of whether or not Im doing this freely or an unbroken chain of cause-and-effect events dating back to the big bang has rendered my typing these words inevitable. Your little experiment with electrecuting my brain has nothing to say about which option is true. In other words, this is bullshit.

To serve and protect... whom?

If you need further proof that the cops consider citizens as the enemy.

Fascists!

Aaa-aaaay, Spock!!

My little Plurk community has yielded us this gem that is NSFW, and if youre a Trekkie, might drive you to commit unspeakable horrors that will make Khan seem like a Care Bear.

so basically, we're just dumb. or evil. or both.

he actually refers to it as the iCock.

california, here we trump!

somebody got ... shall we say, services rendered. well, wouldn't you, if you got to see more than just pictures? nyahahahahahaha!!

but what if its the other way around?

yeah! how could she slap?

not all trash are created equal

too bad we can't do the same to dirty politicians, idiotic celebrities, rabid talk show hosts, greedy corporations, criminals, pedophiles, religious terrorists, and all the other useless scum of the earth you can think of.

Just to put things in their proper perspective

This 'swine flu' scam is still making the rounds, especially here in the motherland's sensationalist media, which just goes to show we'll believe any bullshit. In the meantime, deadlier killers mostly escape media's attention.

Since January, more than 13,000 people have died of complications from [regular] seasonal flu, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's weekly report on the causes of death in the nation.

And here is a list of killers that never make it to the evening news.

Are you farkin' kidding me??

The Nobel prize? G-o-o-oooooore!

During the past few years I recruited a team of more than 650 volunteers to visually inspect and photographically document more than 860 of these temperature stations. We were shocked by what we found.

We found stations located next to the exhaust fans of air conditioning units, surrounded by asphalt parking lots and roads, on blistering-hot rooftops, and near sidewalks and buildings that absorb and radiate heat. We found 68 stations located at wastewater treatment plants, where the process of waste digestion causes temperatures to be higher than in surrounding areas.

In fact, we found that 89 percent of the stations – nearly 9 of every 10 – fail to meet the National Weather Service’s own siting requirements that stations must be 30 meters (about 100 feet) or more away from an artificial heating or radiating/reflecting heat source.

In other words, 9 of every 10 stations are likely reporting higher or rising temperatures because they are badly sited.

It gets worse.

oldie but goodie

Caller: pwede mag request ng song?
DJ: What song?
Caller: Yung Compact Disc
DJ: Yes, we are now using compact discs to play over the air. What particular song would you like to hear?
Caller: Yes, can you play "Compact Disc"
DJ: I dont think we have that on our collection, would you mind singing a few line of it?
Caller: "Com-pact DISC! Tum-du-dee-dum, dee-dum, dee-dum"
(to the tune of MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This")

mrrrrrrrrraaooowwwwwww

no effing way? seriously!?

trustworthy? are you kidding me?

see, kids, this is why texting is evil.

not a scaredy cat

imagine if she was in the Space Shuttle (nsfw-ish)

dumbnessitousness is not an American thing

oh, you never heard of choking your chicken?

somebody needs to take self-defense classes

i still think someone made a deal with the Devil

opps! there goes free news and content.

forgive you, Father? for you have sinned?

reminisce during your early scarfing days

but does it cure you from swine flu???

Pacquiao kills two more

Imagine how many people wouldve died if it were a more exciting fight rather than a one-sided massacre that it was.

Update: Wait, what? Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra is Pinoy?

I bet Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra is watching this. Spo once told me he is the third most popular Filipino behind Manny and the lead singer of Journey.

Nice try, Spo. There's that chick from Pussycat Dolls, Apl de Ap from the Peas, and WWE superstar Battista. And as soon as The Neptunes come out with their next hit album, youll slide further down the list.

since the hype is building ...

... oh, screw it; you know who's #1.

bs meter, activate!

really? did Mozart, the Beatles and Usher learn Chinese?

holy shit, they can see me doing ... stuff.

the secret word is scarfing

a scarfing timeline, that, scores of years ago, such an activity would have been scorned with matching evidence of its disgusting consequences.

and why didn't they think of that before ...?

the relationship translator

isn't this a variation of Romy and Michelle's HS Reunion?

pigs!

right, because we are ignoring the potential masterminds in this case - Big Pharma. did we not hear the lady blame the US pig farm in her neighborhood? whose stock price is going up now eh?

the world is a village

as long as the online travel books are free, hell, why not?

the bogeyman expireth

the drumbeats have started

The latest in scientific bullshitery

It seems fat makes you remember stuff. Scientists are trying to develop a pill that would make memory 'stick'.

Researchers, looking into obesity, discovered that fatty foods not only send feelings of fullness to the brain but they also trigger a process that consolidates long term memories.

It believed that this is an evolutionary tool that enabled our distant ancestors to remember where rich sources of food were located.

Let me get this straight. Our ancestors ate fatty food and it triggered something in the chemicals in their brains so they would remember where the food was? Seriously? Look, if I ate rotten food at McJoe's bar and grill, wouldnt I remember that as well? Does that mean rotten food also makes my memories stick in my brain?

"Remembering the location and context of a fatty meal was probably an important survival mechanism for early humans," he said. "It makes sense that mammals have this capability."

Gee, you think? Did it take millions of dollars in research money to tell you that? And your contention is that the fat did made them remember? Something like, say, watermelons won't work?

thumbs up!

skewers a film with two of the female celebs i dislike a lot. cool!

pretty soon, would we even need actors?

hey, Sonic X, wanna race?

wanna kill joey? a lot of 'em?

then here's your chance.

funbags!

Denise Richards' Funbags from Denise Richards

Well, well, well

Looks like the new Obama administration is taking a page out of G.W.'s playbook, hoping that war would provide the necessary stimulus to the economy. Because after all, what's good for Halliburton -- or whoever the new administration backs -- is good for America, yes?

Mrs Clinton told a congressional panel the situation in Pakistan posed a "mortal threat" to world security.

She said extremists were being allowed to control territory such as the Swat Valley, in north-western Pakistan.

Change you can believe in.

where i am vs. where you are (as of April 2009)

awful secrets of your favorite cartoon characters

you should know this by now

when Black Friday comes, blah blah blah.

If you just want chicks to look better in a bikini

... than say so. Enough of this pseudo-scientific bullshittery. 

Given that it takes more energy to move heavier people, transportation of heavier people requires more fuel, which creates more greenhouse gas emissions, the authors write.

Oh and global warming? What global warming? 

ICE is expanding in much of Antarctica, contrary to the widespread public belief that global warming is melting the continental ice cap.

and he may just join her soon.

digging it

forget about Cleopatra. we wanna know more about this archeologist.

uh-huh. sure.

no worries! we still have chicken of the sea!

well, somebody finally had balls!

a monumental achievement in 40 years

Super Hooters Girls!

they were taking pics of a zombie!

revenge of the paparazzi

Take that!

It's download heaven courtesy of Google.

In China, it’s easy to get free music: simply fire up search engines Baidu or Google (Google reviews), enter an artist you’d like to listen to, and download the melodies. In a country where (IFPI claims) 99 percent of all music files are pirated, the major record labels are happy to get at least an advertising revenue split with a popular search engine in exchange for giving out music for free.

In some areas, they make more sense than you yanks.

Thank your Yank ancestors

... for working hard, making your country prosperous, giving you a buffer of wealth because...

There, but for the grace of God, go you.

well, well, well ... get a (healthy sex) life, dammit!

and they call it autofellatio

hello, Benjamin Button.

a tree grows in ...

Wait, what? I thought you said Fox News

Et tu, Brute?

"It was an intensive, three-hour dinner at 30 Rock which Zucker himself was behind," a source familiar with the powwow told us. "There was a long discussion about whether CNBC has become too conservative and is beating up on Obama too much. There's great concern that CNBC is now the anti-Obama network. The whole meeting was really kind of creepy."