It's Official

clicking on the pic of Hayden below does make you a Pervo.

think you can beat my Kung Fu?

before you get outraged, the baby's name is Mongoose.

Con Nigers

read this - hilarious!

Bikini Field Guide

let it not be said you have untrained eyes (slightly NSFW*)


*disclaimer: any ads found on the page, that feature useless celebrity hos, are not our responsibility.

someone smoke Potter!

what other directors might do to the franchise.

personally, i'd go for a combo of Rob Zombie and Del Toro.

badbehavior.gov.us

can anybody make a similar interactive file for Philippine politicians? or would that crash all but the most powerful PCs?


btw, enjoy the elections. i suddenly decided not to vote.

the dumbness

this "could be" Paris Hilton's exam. or one of the morons emulating her. that being said, maybe it was Cho Seung Hui's.

Ken Watanabe vs Chow Yun Fat!

shouldn't they be owning up to this? sounds like a future war to me. the last Jap WWII generation will die off in a few years, so they got more reason to say, "huh? wha-? what massacre? rearry??"

do you wanna swing?

Orange vs Green

delicioso! Tim Roth becomes the Abomination (the character, not himself)!

a shallow puddle? not!

ISH #15 (Friday Edition)

we are late with the news, even in this wired world. apparently, we were caught dozing as the Church of Charlotte has burned down, and her more-than-capable replacement has been in place for awhile now. i apologize to everyone for not properly anticipating this. i hereby tender my resignation from this office.


wait, those last two sentences should have been uttered by all devious jackasses in the Bush Administration (i'm looking at you, all a youse!).

without further ado, i hereby present:

Is She Hot?

KATHERINE JENKINS

Ms. Jenkins is an accomplished mezzo soprano, hails from the same shores as Catherine Zeta-Jones, and can put most of our past 14 candidates on this blog to shame.

here are some montages made by her loyal legions of fans: 1, 2, 3, 4, and this one's a digitized photo courtesy of one of her stalkers. just kidding (if you didn't notice, the photo above is also one of his works).

i'll leave it up to you to scour the Web for er, ... glamour photos. me, am going to go find and download her albums.

* pics filched from http://www.katherinejenkins.org and Andy Ball. thanks, dudes.

we have seen the enemy ...

and they are ... FIVE!

why some people need to be shot

i wonder how much of a role immigrants played in this idiot's life, to get where he is (yes, and am counting his landscaper, his maid, his nanny, and the gas boy too).

dance dance devolution

long shot

Children of Men wasn't the first.

Radiation? Yum!

Forget cockroaches. When we all go down in a nuclear holocaust, these bugs got what it takes to keep life on earth going.

Me Tarzan, you...

When I proposed this, I didnt think people would take it seriously.

Skywalkers Cross Han Solo

not what you think!

now you see it ...

nah, you really don't (a Petra Nemcova shot ... not really NSFW)

Salary Man

Passed Out Salaryman in the City
Originally uploaded by ZenzenOK.

But he said leave me alone, Im a salary man
And my snore is much worse than my bite
He said leave me alone, Im a salary man
But if you push me too far I just might

just like Tenet

what were you doing before you retired?!?!


If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
- Matt Johnson/The The

Wiki Zoo!

soon you will find your long-lost ancestors, you weed-smoking orangutan!

Youre so fine you blow my mind

guess who is hamas' new mascot.

I dont get it. Are rich people that stupid?

The lamest Value-Added products.



Here's a sample:

The product -- which we haven't seen (and, frankly, who has?) -- is
filtered through "nearly 100 diamonds of up to one carat," and the
bottle "is produced in a never-before-utilized manufacturing process
that allows crystals to become part of the bottle itself." The greatest
new use for your surplus cash since the money bonfire was invented.

A never-before-utilized manufacturing process, eh? Intriguing. And I didnt know that diamonds have amazing filtering properties. But apparently the brilliant scientific minds that can only develop on a diet financed by million-dollar expense accounts did. It probably filters out the taste of poverty that's all pervading in the third world. Hate that taste.

If youre not for us...

I wonder when George W will order a strategic air strike on New Jersey. If they attacked Afghanistan for providing aid to Osama, and invaded Iraq for the mere suspicion of aiding Osama, it stands to reason that NJ will be next.

Universal Sushi Bus

and a bunch of other novelty drives.

Axis of Evil

download! download!

Zombies on a Plane!

Hollywood of Europe

it's cheaper to draw movie posters in Belarus

jail the ho

hey, let's contribute our share.

and since while you're in that site, you can make up any other kind of petition if you want to (ex. petition time bandit's landlord to set up a deathmatch between him and his korean neighbor-slash-nemesis).

trawling for fish

time bandit, like i suggested, try this if Lavalife isn't working.

any chance they get

based on previous news, here's another egregious example of arrogance. seriously, i hope they all die. it's bad to wish that on someone, but i don't care.

a playlist for life's special moments

ISH #14 (Tuesday Edition)

hot topic this week: Spiders! as you all know, Spider-Man 3 made a killing and webbed up gazillions of dollars (legit copies only) last weekend. i haven't contributed my share yet; i probably should wait until i'm the tipping point to push it over the half-billion dollar mark.

a large majority of people are probably whooping it up and worshipping at the Altar of Raimi (Sam I Am) right now. the remaining portion are writing posts like this. and a portion of the remaining portion are going nuts like this.

of course, those who haven't seen the movie yet are probably reading (or writing) this stupid blog.

anyway, why are we talking about spiders?! we should be talking about Wood! the kind you see below.

Is She Hot?

NICOLE WOODRUFF

if Nicole doesn't give you Wood, that means you like Ruff better. Ruffa Gutierrez, that is.

* pictures have been cRUFFed to protect the innocent.

Seeing Spidey 3? Stay away from the popcorn.

Flavoring in popcorn can cause lung disease. While youre at it, check other snack food ingredients as well. Especially those with 'butter' flavor. The ingredient is called diacetyl.

subways of the world, unite!

subway mapping was based on shooting at windows. or looking at spiderwebs.

what a difference

if your calendar said 2002, i'd say Bush would be calling it a terror attack.

effin gay sport

yeah, sure, WTF

someone's taking this 'saving cheerleader' thing too far ...

now if only those spiders were radioactive ...

let me tell you once again ...

who's fat?

Jets, SUVs, and babies

Theyre all bad for the environment.

I dont know if this Brit was being sarcastic or not but he said:

"The greatest thing anyone in Britain could do to help the future of the planet would be to have one less child."

You mean, the less Brits, the better it is for the planet? Ok, then. If you say so.

And here's another wimp

Oh boohoo., Big bad atheist leaves a message on my Starbucks paper cup. Im so offended.



Newsflash: There are different points of view on this planet, ma'am.

ready. aim. buy!

12 games for 2007

go watch Spider-man 3

the spectacular Spider-man
Originally uploaded by Adventures of Tintin.

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman.

Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the Spiderman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.

Spiderman, Spiderman
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman
Wealth and fame
He's ingnored
Action is his reward.

To him, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there's a hang up
You'll find the Spider man.

dork nowitzkis!

thanks, Bill.

kazakhstan rhapsody

Borat to play Freddie

we all knew this anyway ...

... at least those of us who use whatever brains we have.

too bad that Free Speech thing prevents us from lynching such dangerous morons.

I Am Da Pulis!

slowly, slowly ...

match made in hollywood

Joe Francis now has a partner in the slammer.

isn't she old?

but whatever, make The Hulk better!

super chick flicks! not!

thank goodness i only saw about 1.5 ... Elektra and at most half of Barb Wire.

Tomb Raider (1 and/or 2) gets saved from the list, either because it was first and foremost a video game, or the stories didn't suck as much. nyahahahaha!


seriously, with the right script and $$, i'd pay to watch Danger Girl. even if they're not superpowered. wait, they have superpowered asses!

i guess he wasn't Flint Marko.

easy come, easy go

you better have a plan, just in case.

ISH #13 (Friday Edition)

so anybody seen Spider-Man 3 yet? no? what the heck are you waiting for? time bandit, Battery Park, Friday night! can't wait for a geek to put the hurting on a dork. no, am not talking about me kicking time bandit's ass; i'm talking about Tobey vs Topher. and please let this movie make half a billion dollars at least, so there would be a Spider-Man 4 (featuring the Lizard, Electro and a Hobgoblin! hell, why not just make it the complete Sinister Six!)!

ok, enough geekiness. time to heat up your PCs! or Macs! or PSPs! or whatever your cellphone is!!!

Is She Hot?

Katie Fey a.k.a. Jenya

and if you don't like her, that's ok because you suck just like the DCMA!!!

Please Donate for a Good Cause

bush, eat gravel!

if only because this war is bleeding this country dry.

GEICO Caveman funny. Not.

quick! secure the movie rights!!

Comped-cast

the reason why time bandit sticks with Comcast.


also, let me alert Comcast that he has not paid his cable bill since 2002.

And I bet those mice were pretty happy, too

Study: Marijuana halts growth of lung cancer tumors.

Why Peter Parker can't get some

He was bitten by the wrong spider.

The Corporation's candidate?

If this is true, then who's left? Ralph Nader?

this better be good!

first look: Iron Man's Armor

beyond!

since it might as well be a death sentence, just allow sex to happen. nyahhahahaha!

Travolta will say, I told you so

It's not my private jets that's causing global warming. It's all you poor rice farmers!
Now leave my jets alone, peasants!

Global warming?

Holy crap! Human activities are causing warming in the entire solar system!



John Travolta! Al Gore! Save us!!!

Marvel vs DC

neither the Sith nor rain ...

if anybody sees any of these around NYC, shoot!

not our Optimus, but cool just the same.

ISH #12 (Tuesday Edition)

update: the results are in for April's Flavor of the Month (to recap quickly, that's the girl with the highest average). and the winner is ... Gemma Atkinson (4.5 avg), who thankfully beat out Dork Nation led by their goddess Kari Byron (4.33). bringing up the rear was Jurgita Valts with a 2.5 average. win some, lose some.

-

our first May candidate is quite the international flavor, having Hungarian and Mexican roots. at a young age, she experimented in drugs and alcohol, which probably helped her get results in the looks department like this. such experimentation probably awakened her to devote some of her time to social work, such as her participation with Criminon, a non-profit org dedicated to rehabbing inmates. i guess her presence alone makes that murderer want to reform. maybe they should extend their activities to shy, quiet Asian-Americans who may have hatred festering inside them and may be tempted to buy and use firearms in a heavily-populated campus.

Is She Hot?

Marisol Nichols

Marisol has a job - and if you're a terrorist, you better hide because she might sic Jack Bauer on you. the only huge negative, i think, would be this.

soon, Padawan ... soon.

so ummm, it must be ... the video games!

prepare for the mothership

Xenu wants to destroy Earth, obviously.

Joe Rogan is my hero

Rogan eats whiny feminists for breakfast.

China in Pictures

a 5 minute reminiscing.

time to get crackin'

get a makeover, 'cause here's your chance to land the big bucks!


* don't be frustrated if the page doesn't load; other losers like you are also checking 'em out.

if only it were that easy ...

piggy

i was leaning toward his side on this, but after this ... pwe!

ah tlga! shocks nman!

ISH #11 (Friday Edition)

has everybody recovered from Ms. Atkinson? good. the Atkinson Diet is good for you.

our final April candidate sounds Euro (and she is), and she could stand toe to toe with any of 'em Euromodels. anyway, she just lives a couple of miles away, in Philly. you can just drive there, look her up and ask about her ethnicity (Lithuanian). and other things. or drop a line via MySpace.

Is She Hot?

Jurgita Valts

if Jurgita could cook, i'd vote her to replace Rachael Ray immediately. that'll show Giada. and that Nigella girl.

Uh-oh

A woman will write Wonder Woman. This doesnt augur well. She might put in a lot of feminist ideology in there so we'll feel guilty about commenting on her jugs.

airplane!

an argument for the supots.

how many have you played?

ruth: more

on one hand, she has a point. on the other, ... well, getting better/more sex doesn't guarantee that it will improve their attitudes toward women.

Captain America is alive!

... and busted.

fry yourself!

did you know that if you lost your cellphone, the phone company can still demand that you pay the bill, even though any charges after the incident are obviously fraudulent?

i like this part:

In California ... the significant financial contributions made by the wireless industry to state government gives the telecommunications industry enormous influence over entities like the Public Utilities Commission. In effect, this allows the wireless industry to make up its own rules.

since its us customers putting in money (not 100%, but still) into the wireless industry in the form of bills and fees, its not too far-fetched to think this money goes to the government entities who are supposed to protect our consumer rights. and with that statement above, it means we are paying people money NOT to help us.


i could understand if this is what drove Cho Seung Hui nuts.

may the chicken be with you

$$$trip

Club Etiquette. a little NSFW.

Coming Soon: Crow 2K7

starring Michelle Rodriguez.



not too far from the tree eh? wait ... the one on the left is Sting. dammit!

start humping, for f--k's sake!

Signs You're Going to Die in This Movie

11. You are wearing a red shirt.
10. You announce that you're going to retire, right after you finish this case.
9. You decide to rise up from your apparent death one more time to surprise the hero.
8. You betray Al Pacino.
7. You decide to stop following the hero and take a different route.
6. You declare "everything is safe" then step out from your hiding place.
5. A serial killer is on the loose and you reveal your breasts.
4. You're playing Jesus.
3. All your bullets miss the hero, even at point blank.
2. Han Solo owes you money.
1. You are giving birth to someone important in the movie.

- from the BBSpot

the new profile

huh. i should start being talkative and downplay any asian features i have.

* note: the former doesn't seem to be a problem for me, while the latter would probably require a couple of thousand dollars. i'll just cross my fingers.


racist idiots. thanks a lot, Cho Seung Hui.

endangered species?

next thing you know, this blog will be shut down.

Desperation, thy name is Britney

In some odd way, this makes sense.

The bald beauty is eager to work with ridiculed reality star Sanjaya Malakar, Star magazine reported.



The mag quoted Brit as believing that the two would make “beautiful” music together.

Give the guy an Oscar!

Girls Gone Wild founder gives performance of a lifetime.



"I am sorry for my behavior. It was wrong. I had heard about appeals and things and I was confused. I am sorry, I really am,'' said Francis, who cried throughout the 45-minute hearing.

i believe i can ...

no honor. disgusting.