And the apes send their thanks, too, Al Gore

Biofuels are clearing huge areas of forest.

'On a visit to London, [Richard Leakey,] the former head of the Kenya Wildlife Service said that the shift away from fossil fuels to biofuels was "a great concern" as huge areas of forest in south-east Asia had already been cleared for palm oil plantations, and the pressure could only increase.'

freeloaders!

at least the Philippines isn't even near the top. or that could be because ... we don't have enough computers!!!! nyahahahaha!

Speaking of small men

We all know that Formula 1 is an orgy of greenhouse gases, where small men who earn multi-million dollar salaries drive multi-million dollar cars around tracks while their supermodel girlfriends wait for them in the pits. Those days will soon be over, folks.

[FIA President Max Mosley] asked rhetorically: "Do you know how much carbon dioxide is blown into the air when top teams run two wind-tunnels 24 hours a day, day after day?"



"We are talking about thousands of tons, and then at the end of the day the races are boring."



"And cars that use 75 litres of fuel to go 100 kilometres are no longer acceptable."

Again, thanks a lot, Al Gore. You just ruined a sport Filipinos could excel at.

No not that kind of shrinkage, Grif

Get shorter.



(via Jessica Zafra's blog.)

time to brush up that portfolio ...

... buy new wardrobe and brush your teeth!

what happened when YOU were born?

Germany 1938 Ballot sample

only morons would choose the obvious. but i guess if they had guns to your head ...

Katie and the Atheist

God's on their side? I'll take my chances, dammit!

hello, Big Brother

Google circa 2027. or earlier.

Zombies!!

iPod killers are rising from the grave... as bargains. Perfect pasalubong for your relatives back in the motherland.

ISH #20 (Tuesday Edition)

a salute to our forefathers who kept us free from the Nazi jackboots and Japanese imperialism. because of that, we have German car engineering, beer, Voltes V, Playstation and manga. and tentacle sex. woooohoooooo!

for those still fighting a pointless war, hopefully here's what's waiting for you when you get back home. and we hope she's not just in your brain due to severe combat stress.

Is She Hot?

IVETTE BLANCHE

Ms. Blanche says she wants to pose for you and shower you with TLC.

Terrorists are people, too

They like having sex in cars and in graveyards. Why not? I say more power to them. Get some while you can, asshole.

Top 10 IDs!

all the comix, all the time

Rotten Tomatoes survey of all comic book movies. and for some vitriol, here's my take on their take.

it was only a matter of time

soon, your grandkids will be enjoying this. or not.

well, take a walk!

ISH #19 (Friday Edition)

given the recent announcement of President Bush that this summer will be action-packed, Americans started stacking up on the popcorn and soda. little did they realize he was referring to combat operations in Iraq, which officially ceased in 2003.

speaking of military operations and honoring the valiant warriors of the battlefield, here's someone you should stand at attention for. if you know what i mean. time bandit does.

Is She Hot?

VIKY

she has two pieces of advice for you this summer: cool off, and she's the only one allowed to uh, be perky.

Enough, George, enough!!

Another Star Wars movie in the pipe? Say it aint so, George.



But if you do decide to make one, please let the pros handle it. Stay away from the production and just enjoy it with the rest of us. We'll all be happier for it.

now THAT's a geek!

if there was one reason Yanks can be hated ...

get me some of that!

Snakes on a Plane! Really!

why sometimes you really need a gun.

choose your own adventure

to those who forgot ...

please send me this ... its my birthday, pigs!

the 37th rule of Fight Club ...

... is to speculate on your choices to join Fight Club!

long long ago ... today

where are they now?

Coincidence? You decide

Is this somehow related to this?

i ... got problems??

try being taken from your mother, being told that you are a messiah but you can't show off your powers, and working with a hideous-looking alien with a Jamaican accent. and then being teased by a girl way out of your league (and age bracket). but i snagged the bitch anyway. then my own two children cause me problems. and did i mention i don't have a dad? yep, i'm so screwed.

Coming to your neighborhood

A brand new superbug: XDR TB, a drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis already starting to tear through Africa.

The TB bacillus, a bug that has been pesky but totally treatable since the advent of antibiotics in the 1940s, has suddenly morphed into something virtually incurable. And the disease is spread not with a complex exchange of bodily fluids, like AIDS or Ebola, but simply by laughing, talking, coughing or breathing.

And it's batting close to 1.000 folks.

Wait, hasnt she been doing that already?

Angelina Jolie says she's taking a year off from acting. Which leaves me rather puzzled because she hasnt been acting. She's been in movies preening and pouting, but acting? She stopped doing that since Tombraider.

the first picture of you

no, this isn't an Is She Hot? post. just click on the pic above. just click, dammit!!

notes from the pantry (and elsewhere)

son of a gun! i mean, of a domain!

video iPod in 1952

big D

how come no one made a movie out of this? and totally rewrote it with mutant monsters and government conspiracies?

ISH #18 (Tuesday Edition)

post-election violence ... religious strife ... wackos shooting up churches ... why don't we all just chill and watch hot girls? make love, not war eh? although there is one strong argument for getting too captivated by the ladies: Helen of Troy. the face that launched a war, CGI, movie careers and critical disdain.

so, whatever you do, make sure there isn't an Achilles around. or if there is, your brother can beat him.

Is She Hot?

KAELIE HART

Kaelie knows your weakness, and its not your heart. nyhahahahahahaha! take that, blonde-haters!

Kool Death Star, Dubai

cool t-shirt

just think of the Magic Lamp

more dating tips!

and it was on Fox News

the link between Bush and Nazi Germany.

not a boxing legend

Pac-Man's skeleton!

Smithsonian Photo Contest

wish we could zoom in.

have them take a hint

if your friends keep annoying you at work ....

Braveheart

This should be a nice movie.



I imagine the Scottinh National Party's speech would go something like:

Aye, fight and you may die, run and you'll live...at least a while.

And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to

trade all your days, from this day to that for one chance, just one

chance to tell our enemies that they may take

our lives, but they'll never take... our FREEDOM!!

the exit interview

keep as a reference ... you may have had the same experience and it'll save you time thinking of excuses to write.

the Bat is back.

"thank you for not smoking. and not bringing acid."


click and wait for the reveal - looks like a certain gay cowboy to me.

reeeeeee-mix

What th-??!

Bumblebee isnt a VW bug? What, Disney has the rights to that? New exclusive Transformer trailer here.



But they kept the kitakokiki sound effect.

ISH #17 (Friday Edition)

apart from the just-concluded elections, the hot topic on the streets is the "threat of annulment" of the marriage of one of our more famous whores celebrities, from her Turkish cab driver husband. allegedly, he's a prince but here in this blog, we all think his royal lineage is as legit as a three dollar bill.

why am i even mentioning this? well, if i rant about the reduced jail sentence of Paris Hilton, i might just be hastening that stroke lurking around the corner. besides there's nothing to rant about the above-mentioned sham of a marriage. some snickering maybe. and wondering where i saved those pics of her and the 'sultan of brunei' in compromising positions. ah, the 90's and the toddling internet.

oh yeah, the first thing i thought about when i read our candidate's name is that maybe she's Turkish. or something. what the heck. just click away.

Is She Hot?

DYANNA RAZIN

Dyanna loves to pose and give you a shave. and if you're nice, she'll do your face too.

bot-talks

i think this conversation is much more meaningful than 98% of what passes off for chatting these days.

now we know where Elvis went

they PWN us

all of Google's links in one page.

remind me not to draw!

I tell ya, those mortgage payments are murder

Just ask this lady.

No such luck yet, Jess

So this is probably the reason Jessica Alba is trying hard to look like an emaciated death camp survivor, eh? Give her a serious role!

The killing fields

Tropical forests are being destroyed to plant crops destined for the production of biofuels. This would mean that biofuel manufacture could provoke a reduction of land available for food production in countries where there is already hunger, Professor Dieter Helm, a senior advisor to the British government, told the BBC.

And so this global warming crap may end up killing millions. Nice going, Al.

dot com boom

dammit! now i have to bid for ... for ... damn, i ran out of words.

the art of buck passing

can i say we now have two crappy high profile lawyers named Gonzales?

hold on to your kids!

do not show to moms.


42nd St Subway Station (i think)

Tan-tan-taraa-a-aaaan!!

Spielberg and Jackson will each direct a Tintin movie as part of a trilogy. The movie will be a 3-D animated feature. 3-D?? Are you guys insane??

"The flicks will be part of a trilogy (it's unknown who will direct the third film)."

Let me clue you in. If you insist on 3-D, there wouldnt be a third film because the first 2 are going to flop so bad it'll bankrupt the studio.

Lots of luck, Grant

... as you try to adapt Area 51 for the screen. Remember when Frank Miller tried to write the Batman script? Yes, suck is a word that comes to mind.

children of the cloth

no, this just means the geeks just wised up and got new clothes to go along with that new Wii, Alienware desktop, and Lego Mindstorm kit. probably to impress that hottie waitress at the corner bar.

what you don't know ...

... may still bite you in the ass.

power to the people!!!

these are not the droids you're looking for

never say die ... wait, it should be ... super islaw ... aming bida!

and the winner is ...

i picked Logan, 'cause Hugh Jackman has better teeth. nyahahhahaha!

Se7en (Japanese Version)

How to Save the Airlines

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money.

I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Come on, now. Where's this guy's Oscar?

After his dramatic turn at the courtroom, this renowned thespian ups the intensity and gives a tour de force.



De Niro? Pacino? Pfah! Might as well retire, paisanos.

ISH #16 (Tuesday Edition)

election time! resignation time! who cares? its vote for the slut time!

i'll leave the platitudes and palavering to the pols. suffice to say, the girl below needs your attention because her mother just got shot.

Is She Hot?

BAMBI

you're such a cold-hearted bastard if you can't be moved by this. or this.

Peter vs. Sakura

roll out!

still not the Transformers i know; hope they make me go "wow" this summer.

click below for Hi-Res pics.

the beginning of the end

soon we will all be arrested for even mentioning terrorist-related words in jest. see you in prison, mofos. or maybe not.

download this!

It's Official

clicking on the pic of Hayden below does make you a Pervo.

think you can beat my Kung Fu?

before you get outraged, the baby's name is Mongoose.

Con Nigers

read this - hilarious!

Bikini Field Guide

let it not be said you have untrained eyes (slightly NSFW*)


*disclaimer: any ads found on the page, that feature useless celebrity hos, are not our responsibility.

someone smoke Potter!

what other directors might do to the franchise.

personally, i'd go for a combo of Rob Zombie and Del Toro.

badbehavior.gov.us

can anybody make a similar interactive file for Philippine politicians? or would that crash all but the most powerful PCs?


btw, enjoy the elections. i suddenly decided not to vote.

the dumbness

this "could be" Paris Hilton's exam. or one of the morons emulating her. that being said, maybe it was Cho Seung Hui's.

Ken Watanabe vs Chow Yun Fat!

shouldn't they be owning up to this? sounds like a future war to me. the last Jap WWII generation will die off in a few years, so they got more reason to say, "huh? wha-? what massacre? rearry??"

do you wanna swing?

Orange vs Green

delicioso! Tim Roth becomes the Abomination (the character, not himself)!

a shallow puddle? not!

ISH #15 (Friday Edition)

we are late with the news, even in this wired world. apparently, we were caught dozing as the Church of Charlotte has burned down, and her more-than-capable replacement has been in place for awhile now. i apologize to everyone for not properly anticipating this. i hereby tender my resignation from this office.


wait, those last two sentences should have been uttered by all devious jackasses in the Bush Administration (i'm looking at you, all a youse!).

without further ado, i hereby present:

Is She Hot?

KATHERINE JENKINS

Ms. Jenkins is an accomplished mezzo soprano, hails from the same shores as Catherine Zeta-Jones, and can put most of our past 14 candidates on this blog to shame.

here are some montages made by her loyal legions of fans: 1, 2, 3, 4, and this one's a digitized photo courtesy of one of her stalkers. just kidding (if you didn't notice, the photo above is also one of his works).

i'll leave it up to you to scour the Web for er, ... glamour photos. me, am going to go find and download her albums.

* pics filched from http://www.katherinejenkins.org and Andy Ball. thanks, dudes.

we have seen the enemy ...

and they are ... FIVE!

why some people need to be shot

i wonder how much of a role immigrants played in this idiot's life, to get where he is (yes, and am counting his landscaper, his maid, his nanny, and the gas boy too).

dance dance devolution

long shot

Children of Men wasn't the first.

Radiation? Yum!

Forget cockroaches. When we all go down in a nuclear holocaust, these bugs got what it takes to keep life on earth going.

Me Tarzan, you...

When I proposed this, I didnt think people would take it seriously.

Skywalkers Cross Han Solo

not what you think!

now you see it ...

nah, you really don't (a Petra Nemcova shot ... not really NSFW)

Salary Man

Passed Out Salaryman in the City
Originally uploaded by ZenzenOK.

But he said leave me alone, Im a salary man
And my snore is much worse than my bite
He said leave me alone, Im a salary man
But if you push me too far I just might

just like Tenet

what were you doing before you retired?!?!


If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
- Matt Johnson/The The

Wiki Zoo!

soon you will find your long-lost ancestors, you weed-smoking orangutan!

Youre so fine you blow my mind

guess who is hamas' new mascot.

I dont get it. Are rich people that stupid?

The lamest Value-Added products.



Here's a sample:

The product -- which we haven't seen (and, frankly, who has?) -- is
filtered through "nearly 100 diamonds of up to one carat," and the
bottle "is produced in a never-before-utilized manufacturing process
that allows crystals to become part of the bottle itself." The greatest
new use for your surplus cash since the money bonfire was invented.

A never-before-utilized manufacturing process, eh? Intriguing. And I didnt know that diamonds have amazing filtering properties. But apparently the brilliant scientific minds that can only develop on a diet financed by million-dollar expense accounts did. It probably filters out the taste of poverty that's all pervading in the third world. Hate that taste.

If youre not for us...

I wonder when George W will order a strategic air strike on New Jersey. If they attacked Afghanistan for providing aid to Osama, and invaded Iraq for the mere suspicion of aiding Osama, it stands to reason that NJ will be next.

Universal Sushi Bus

and a bunch of other novelty drives.

Axis of Evil

download! download!

Zombies on a Plane!

Hollywood of Europe

it's cheaper to draw movie posters in Belarus

jail the ho

hey, let's contribute our share.

and since while you're in that site, you can make up any other kind of petition if you want to (ex. petition time bandit's landlord to set up a deathmatch between him and his korean neighbor-slash-nemesis).

trawling for fish

time bandit, like i suggested, try this if Lavalife isn't working.

any chance they get

based on previous news, here's another egregious example of arrogance. seriously, i hope they all die. it's bad to wish that on someone, but i don't care.

a playlist for life's special moments

ISH #14 (Tuesday Edition)

hot topic this week: Spiders! as you all know, Spider-Man 3 made a killing and webbed up gazillions of dollars (legit copies only) last weekend. i haven't contributed my share yet; i probably should wait until i'm the tipping point to push it over the half-billion dollar mark.

a large majority of people are probably whooping it up and worshipping at the Altar of Raimi (Sam I Am) right now. the remaining portion are writing posts like this. and a portion of the remaining portion are going nuts like this.

of course, those who haven't seen the movie yet are probably reading (or writing) this stupid blog.

anyway, why are we talking about spiders?! we should be talking about Wood! the kind you see below.

Is She Hot?

NICOLE WOODRUFF

if Nicole doesn't give you Wood, that means you like Ruff better. Ruffa Gutierrez, that is.

* pictures have been cRUFFed to protect the innocent.

Seeing Spidey 3? Stay away from the popcorn.

Flavoring in popcorn can cause lung disease. While youre at it, check other snack food ingredients as well. Especially those with 'butter' flavor. The ingredient is called diacetyl.

subways of the world, unite!

subway mapping was based on shooting at windows. or looking at spiderwebs.

what a difference

if your calendar said 2002, i'd say Bush would be calling it a terror attack.

effin gay sport

yeah, sure, WTF

someone's taking this 'saving cheerleader' thing too far ...

now if only those spiders were radioactive ...

let me tell you once again ...

who's fat?

Jets, SUVs, and babies

Theyre all bad for the environment.

I dont know if this Brit was being sarcastic or not but he said:

"The greatest thing anyone in Britain could do to help the future of the planet would be to have one less child."

You mean, the less Brits, the better it is for the planet? Ok, then. If you say so.

And here's another wimp

Oh boohoo., Big bad atheist leaves a message on my Starbucks paper cup. Im so offended.



Newsflash: There are different points of view on this planet, ma'am.

ready. aim. buy!

12 games for 2007

go watch Spider-man 3

the spectacular Spider-man
Originally uploaded by Adventures of Tintin.

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman.

Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the Spiderman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.

Spiderman, Spiderman
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman
Wealth and fame
He's ingnored
Action is his reward.

To him, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there's a hang up
You'll find the Spider man.

dork nowitzkis!

thanks, Bill.

kazakhstan rhapsody

Borat to play Freddie

we all knew this anyway ...

... at least those of us who use whatever brains we have.

too bad that Free Speech thing prevents us from lynching such dangerous morons.

I Am Da Pulis!

slowly, slowly ...

match made in hollywood

Joe Francis now has a partner in the slammer.

isn't she old?

but whatever, make The Hulk better!

super chick flicks! not!

thank goodness i only saw about 1.5 ... Elektra and at most half of Barb Wire.

Tomb Raider (1 and/or 2) gets saved from the list, either because it was first and foremost a video game, or the stories didn't suck as much. nyahahahaha!


seriously, with the right script and $$, i'd pay to watch Danger Girl. even if they're not superpowered. wait, they have superpowered asses!

i guess he wasn't Flint Marko.

easy come, easy go

you better have a plan, just in case.

ISH #13 (Friday Edition)

so anybody seen Spider-Man 3 yet? no? what the heck are you waiting for? time bandit, Battery Park, Friday night! can't wait for a geek to put the hurting on a dork. no, am not talking about me kicking time bandit's ass; i'm talking about Tobey vs Topher. and please let this movie make half a billion dollars at least, so there would be a Spider-Man 4 (featuring the Lizard, Electro and a Hobgoblin! hell, why not just make it the complete Sinister Six!)!

ok, enough geekiness. time to heat up your PCs! or Macs! or PSPs! or whatever your cellphone is!!!

Is She Hot?

Katie Fey a.k.a. Jenya

and if you don't like her, that's ok because you suck just like the DCMA!!!

Please Donate for a Good Cause

bush, eat gravel!

if only because this war is bleeding this country dry.

GEICO Caveman funny. Not.

quick! secure the movie rights!!

Comped-cast

the reason why time bandit sticks with Comcast.


also, let me alert Comcast that he has not paid his cable bill since 2002.

And I bet those mice were pretty happy, too

Study: Marijuana halts growth of lung cancer tumors.

Why Peter Parker can't get some

He was bitten by the wrong spider.

The Corporation's candidate?

If this is true, then who's left? Ralph Nader?

this better be good!

first look: Iron Man's Armor

beyond!

since it might as well be a death sentence, just allow sex to happen. nyahhahahaha!

Travolta will say, I told you so

It's not my private jets that's causing global warming. It's all you poor rice farmers!
Now leave my jets alone, peasants!

Global warming?

Holy crap! Human activities are causing warming in the entire solar system!



John Travolta! Al Gore! Save us!!!

Marvel vs DC

neither the Sith nor rain ...

if anybody sees any of these around NYC, shoot!

not our Optimus, but cool just the same.

ISH #12 (Tuesday Edition)

update: the results are in for April's Flavor of the Month (to recap quickly, that's the girl with the highest average). and the winner is ... Gemma Atkinson (4.5 avg), who thankfully beat out Dork Nation led by their goddess Kari Byron (4.33). bringing up the rear was Jurgita Valts with a 2.5 average. win some, lose some.

-

our first May candidate is quite the international flavor, having Hungarian and Mexican roots. at a young age, she experimented in drugs and alcohol, which probably helped her get results in the looks department like this. such experimentation probably awakened her to devote some of her time to social work, such as her participation with Criminon, a non-profit org dedicated to rehabbing inmates. i guess her presence alone makes that murderer want to reform. maybe they should extend their activities to shy, quiet Asian-Americans who may have hatred festering inside them and may be tempted to buy and use firearms in a heavily-populated campus.

Is She Hot?

Marisol Nichols

Marisol has a job - and if you're a terrorist, you better hide because she might sic Jack Bauer on you. the only huge negative, i think, would be this.