Thursday, November 30, 2006
He's alright, he's alright, alright. Shamu, the mysterious whale
Right. If you won't set the whale free, at least give him a bigger trailer, on-call masseuse, and more mackerel. That is, if you dont want this to happen.
Monday, November 27, 2006
crab n' ho explosion
if we could allow Iran or North Korea to fire one missile at the U.S., hopefully it would be at these coordinates:
or maybe a meteor? spontaneous combustion? anything involving a means to their end? please, Lord?
or maybe a meteor? spontaneous combustion? anything involving a means to their end? please, Lord?
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
dismembered
a Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation. perhaps the Vatican should order all priests to do the same so there won't be anymore lawsuits.
what the hell was that monk meditating on anyway?
what the hell was that monk meditating on anyway?
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Kramer's MySpace
To: MySpace Customer Service
From: Michael Richards
Re: Profile Glitches
Hey – MySpace guys,
I don't know what's going on, but I checked my MySpace page this afternoon and all of my friends were just suddenly gone. Like, almost everybody – totally vanished. That guy "Tom" wasn't even there anymore, and I thought he had to be friends with everybody.
It must be some kind of server problem or something, right?
I put a profile up on MySpace about eight months ago and since then I've accumulated something like 16,000 friends from all over the world. But when I checked today, it was just Seinfeld and a few other guys I don't even remember adding, like DocMartenMan and ArchieBunker12. There was some bald guy called Curb Job who I thought might be Larry David at first, but when I clicked on his photo he looked way too young. Plus the caption underneath said he hated the Jews.
So... can you guys get back to me about this? I hope it's just a glitch or something.
Sincerely,
Michael
****
To: Michael Richards
From: MySpace Tech Support
Re: Profile "Glitches"
We regret to inform you, Mr. Richards, that there has been no "technical glitch" in your profile. We believe that almost all of your Friends have simply decided to remove themselves from your page, thus ending your virtual Friendships. Maybe you did something to make them all mad – we're not sure. However, we are all glad to hear that Seinfeld has hung in there with you.
On the plus side, our technicians have reported that Mel Gibson wants to add you as a Friend. Apparently, somebody overheard him say "Finally – a celebrity that's more racist than me."
HAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN!!
Screw you, Richards – you suck now, and all of your old Seinfeld episodes suck now, too. Anytime you make a wacky entrance into Jerry's apartment now, we're not gonna laugh, we're just gonna think about how much you hate black people.
Sincerely,
The MySpace Tech Support Team
***
From: Michael Richards
To: MySpace Tech Support
Re: Ha ha
Okay, okay. I get it. You're heckling me. Well, look – I’m not flying off the handle about it. I'm able to keep my composure in the face of criticism, believe it or not. Although I should point out that almost everybody with half a brain has already made that Mel Gibson joke. Even Leno has probably already done that one.
Anyway, I honestly thought that maybe something was technically wrong with my profile, but thanks for clearing that up for me. Also, you telling me to "screw off" clues me in to the fact that you're probably not too happy with what I've done, so... if it means anything, I'm sorry if I offended anybody on the MySpace tech team.
It's very hard to explain these things, these behaviors. All I can say is that I got very, very angry with some hecklers, so I said the worst possible things I could say to them, the most horrible stuff I could think of. I think we all have access to these racist words and thoughts, just by virtue of growing up in American society. We have access to these types of things, and sometimes they just come out, though luckily for most, not in a public forum.
Throughout my life – as a child growing up, as a former military man, and as a white man in general – I've been privy to an enormous number of racial slurs and stereotypes. I mean, I've heard really, really rotten shit about Afro-Americans, Asians, Mexicans, Polish people and almost everybody else you can think of. I don't usually agree with it, but it's out there. I've heard it. And I know better than to repeat that garbage, not only because I don't want to promote it, but also because I know that it can really hurt the people that that type of stuff is directed at. However, it's that exact repression of language, that knowledge of its impact, that can cause a person to finally belt out all of the hateful words and ideas stored in their head when driven to an extreme point of rage. I think anybody who's ever cursed to themselves in traffic can understand that. It's having the power of the forbidden words, the knife-like ideas – sometimes it just comes out all over the place, and it doesn't necessarily reflect the way a person really is or how a person really feels.
So – I hope that maybe you can understand the position that I'm in, and accept my apology. It was never my intention to hurt so many people.
Now, on to other technical matters. I'm having another problem with my profile that maybe you can help me with. I want to add the caption "I totally love niggers" to my photo, but I don't know how to bold it. Can you tell me how to do that?
*Source.*
From: Michael Richards
Re: Profile Glitches
Hey – MySpace guys,
I don't know what's going on, but I checked my MySpace page this afternoon and all of my friends were just suddenly gone. Like, almost everybody – totally vanished. That guy "Tom" wasn't even there anymore, and I thought he had to be friends with everybody.
It must be some kind of server problem or something, right?
I put a profile up on MySpace about eight months ago and since then I've accumulated something like 16,000 friends from all over the world. But when I checked today, it was just Seinfeld and a few other guys I don't even remember adding, like DocMartenMan and ArchieBunker12. There was some bald guy called Curb Job who I thought might be Larry David at first, but when I clicked on his photo he looked way too young. Plus the caption underneath said he hated the Jews.
So... can you guys get back to me about this? I hope it's just a glitch or something.
Sincerely,
Michael
****
To: Michael Richards
From: MySpace Tech Support
Re: Profile "Glitches"
We regret to inform you, Mr. Richards, that there has been no "technical glitch" in your profile. We believe that almost all of your Friends have simply decided to remove themselves from your page, thus ending your virtual Friendships. Maybe you did something to make them all mad – we're not sure. However, we are all glad to hear that Seinfeld has hung in there with you.
On the plus side, our technicians have reported that Mel Gibson wants to add you as a Friend. Apparently, somebody overheard him say "Finally – a celebrity that's more racist than me."
HAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN!!
Screw you, Richards – you suck now, and all of your old Seinfeld episodes suck now, too. Anytime you make a wacky entrance into Jerry's apartment now, we're not gonna laugh, we're just gonna think about how much you hate black people.
Sincerely,
The MySpace Tech Support Team
***
From: Michael Richards
To: MySpace Tech Support
Re: Ha ha
Okay, okay. I get it. You're heckling me. Well, look – I’m not flying off the handle about it. I'm able to keep my composure in the face of criticism, believe it or not. Although I should point out that almost everybody with half a brain has already made that Mel Gibson joke. Even Leno has probably already done that one.
Anyway, I honestly thought that maybe something was technically wrong with my profile, but thanks for clearing that up for me. Also, you telling me to "screw off" clues me in to the fact that you're probably not too happy with what I've done, so... if it means anything, I'm sorry if I offended anybody on the MySpace tech team.
It's very hard to explain these things, these behaviors. All I can say is that I got very, very angry with some hecklers, so I said the worst possible things I could say to them, the most horrible stuff I could think of. I think we all have access to these racist words and thoughts, just by virtue of growing up in American society. We have access to these types of things, and sometimes they just come out, though luckily for most, not in a public forum.
Throughout my life – as a child growing up, as a former military man, and as a white man in general – I've been privy to an enormous number of racial slurs and stereotypes. I mean, I've heard really, really rotten shit about Afro-Americans, Asians, Mexicans, Polish people and almost everybody else you can think of. I don't usually agree with it, but it's out there. I've heard it. And I know better than to repeat that garbage, not only because I don't want to promote it, but also because I know that it can really hurt the people that that type of stuff is directed at. However, it's that exact repression of language, that knowledge of its impact, that can cause a person to finally belt out all of the hateful words and ideas stored in their head when driven to an extreme point of rage. I think anybody who's ever cursed to themselves in traffic can understand that. It's having the power of the forbidden words, the knife-like ideas – sometimes it just comes out all over the place, and it doesn't necessarily reflect the way a person really is or how a person really feels.
So – I hope that maybe you can understand the position that I'm in, and accept my apology. It was never my intention to hurt so many people.
Now, on to other technical matters. I'm having another problem with my profile that maybe you can help me with. I want to add the caption "I totally love niggers" to my photo, but I don't know how to bold it. Can you tell me how to do that?
*Source.*
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
360 comes full circle
did i read this correctly? a real-time strategy (RTS) on a gaming console? Command and Conquer on an X-Box? this, not to mention Halo and Dead Rising, makes X-Box a better choice than PS3, don't you agree?
adult toy for the younger generation
i blogged about an inappropriate toy last month, now i've found another. this one looks like a phallus. we've sunk so low.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
FM
why do we give airtime to this FUCKING MURDERER*????
* cause no one has the fucking balls to call him out
* cause no one has the fucking balls to call him out
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
idiots
ehhh-?
know what you can do so you can avoid being subjected to humiliation? then don't do anything you otherwise "wouldn't engage in" (while sober).
know what you can do so you can avoid being subjected to humiliation? then don't do anything you otherwise "wouldn't engage in" (while sober).
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
Only in Japan....
ohaiyo gozaimasu!!!
wakarai Mr.T GPS navigation...
wooootah!!!!!
* available beside Sake, Beru and Used-Panty Machine Dispenser.. HAAAAI!!!!
wakarai Mr.T GPS navigation...
wooootah!!!!!
* available beside Sake, Beru and Used-Panty Machine Dispenser.. HAAAAI!!!!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Kim Condemns Sunrise
PYONGYANG, North Korea (o) -- Increasingly defiant toward international pressure since his nation's first nuclear test in early October, North Korean leader Kim Jong Il condemned this morning's sunrise, calling it "another hostile, deliberately timed act by the world community" and "a clear and blatant declaration of war."
... Continue reading article.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
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