The Dark Knight returns

it's official, the title of the next Batman flick is The Dark Knight.

Hummer humping

so what is the right term for people having sex with cars?

dirtbag

presenting ... your NYC garbage collector!


he wants to know if you really wanna hurt him

Photosynth

Microsoft Live Labs is coming up with an exciting new program that will change the way we look at our digital photos. i can't wait to download get a copy when it's available. i'm surprised Apple never came up with the idea. kudos to Microsoft!

discovery channel

pop quiz, hotshot ... what the hell is that???


scene from a packed crowd in Long Beach, Long Island, NY

are you a boy or a girl?

oh, by the way, bitch got ticketed for bringing alcohol to the beach. pa-trendy asian americans, flouting the law, trying to get tanned (never went to the water) and catching up on their reading (yeah those "the devil wear prada"-types of reading material).

arachnidz

ok, we see the creation of Venom here ... is that Topher Grace or Tobey? in the second pic, Tobey clearly wears the black costume. Is that a fashion statement or the series taking a darker tone? i'm confused.

what i think is Venom will not be the black costume/symbiote, as it was in the comic. at least it won't have a spider symbol, because it would be confusing with Peter wearing an all-black version of his tradional red-and-blues. or maybe Sam Raimi is just messing with us.

abangan.

Hezbollah Video Dating Service

despite the craziness in the Middle East, Sheikh Hassam has time for love.

passion of the drunk

Mel Gibson hates Jews? Seriously?

pwn3d!

why stop there? cancel the damn checks! this lazyass generation needs a complete smackdown!!

lady godiva

what the hell is Playboy legend Victoria Silvstedt doing?

okay, definitely NSFW, but we shouldn't be surprised. hehe.

check dat bod

your best reason to buy a 5th generation iPod.

hot off the presses!

a member of the "Harry Potter" trio takes nude role!!!!!

mathalino

i smell blood

According to Entertainment Weekly, there's a possibility that Hollywood may remake the Japanese cult classic Battle Royale, and they're not in favor of it.

I agree with EW. Hollywood always bastardizes remakes of Japanese sicko shit. But I would pay to see those Gay Mafia guys greenlight something that throws caution to the wind, butcher some sacred cows, and go all out, if they're serious about remaking this. My conditions are easy - lots of blood, lots of gore, and lots of creative ways to produce the two. Oh, and then cast the following as the students:

Paris Hilton (her spraying blood would spread some fatal disease)
Nicole Richie (not much blood, her bones can be used as weapons)
Lindsey Lohan (maybe in a necrophilia scene)
Tara Reid (total dismemberment - like the woodchopper scene in Fargo)
Olsen Twins (it'll be a delight to see them kill each other)
Ashlee Simpson (let's see her try to sing her way out of a meeting with an angry grizzly bear)
Britney Spears (a pregnant white trash teenager - she could die 10 minutes into the film)
Ashton Kutcher (imagine a sledgehammer to that toothy smile)
Wilmer Valderrama (decapitated Latino class clown)
Kevin Federline (supposedly badass, but gets capped repeatedly in all places by ...)
50 Cent (trigger-happy, but gets sprayed by Hilton's blood later and dies a horrible death)
Clay Aiken (tries to prove he's not gay, but dies a very gay death ...)
Justin Timberlake (cool ladies man gets .... neutered. eunuched. for most of the movie.)

(and more suggestions to come as the Most Annoying Celebrity list grows longer)

surprise villains: Michael Jackson as a insane murderous pedophile and Star Jones as a psychotic cannibal. in the role of the Head Man: Tom Cruise. and in a twist ending, every student dies. nyahahahahaha!!

which would be perfect, because this film was originally intended as a reaction to a generation of lazyass coddled teenagers.

Bank accounts. Cheese. Chocolates. Porn.

Super babe

IMG_2007.JPG
Originally uploaded by ebo8.

"Hello Sunshine! I'm Tonatzin Mondragon AKA Lemuria. I'm inviting you to watch me in Who Wants to be a Superhero premiering tomorrow night at the Sci Fi channel. See me compete with ten other so called superheroes. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the only authentic superhero and also the cutest! So watch me but don't oggle my perky and humongous tits too much, OK?"

the best of the week ...

... from Overheard in The Office.

Seriously, China is not the most populous nation on earth. Its Moronesia, also known as Idiotia.

-

Sales girl #1: Hey, guys, there are two Oriental ladies walking to the back. Help them if you can.
Sales girl #2: We Orientals prefer to be called "Asians."

-

Boss: Well, I'm outta here! Too bad you have to stay!
Janitor: You're not letting him leave early?
Boss: No. I'm the boss. I get to go. He has to stay.
Janitor: Okay. Well, bye.
Boss: Bye! [He leaves]
Janitor: So you're leaving in five minutes, right?
Employee: I'll wait 'til he clears the building.

-

Customer: I would like a cheeseburger but with no cheese.
Cashier: So you want a simple hamburger?
Customer: No! A cheeseburger with no cheese!

-

Employee: Hey, Bertha*, can you help me send a fax? It's been so long since I've had to use this.
Bertha: Okay, well, put your document face up here, and then enter the number here, and press "start."
Employee: What number?
Bertha: The fax number you're sending to?
Employee: Oh, am I supposed to know that?

-

Tech guy: Yeah, so I tried to open the file, and it said something, something, file can't open, something.
Client services girl: Gee, thanks, tech.

-

Boss: I found this [correspondence dated a week ago] in my inbox, waiting for my signature. It was Bill Smith's* estate tax return! Why didn't you tell me to check my inbox?? There's all kinds of stuff in there that hasn't gone out. You have to come up with a way for me to check my inbox more regularly so things like this don't happen again!
Secretary: Um, ok? Do you want me to set Outlook reminders that you'll ignore, or would you like to ignore me personally?

-

Lawyer: So you were locked in a room that had a gas leak?
Client: Yeah. Man, we was trying to get out quick as we could. I mean, if we didn't make it out when we did, we could've been sophisticated!
Lawyer: Asphyxiated?
Client: Whatever.

-

Co-Worker: I sent out the class rosters for summer term to all the faculty and got an e-mail back from one guy wanting to know why he can't find his name on the list. Because it's the list of his students! How did he get to be a teacher!?

-

Woman #1: I saw The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. It was really good, especially Marlon Brando.
Woman #2: Marlon Brando?
Woman #1: You know, that lady! What's her name?
Woman #2: Meryl Streep. Marlon Brando is dead. And a man.

-

Employee: So, we were going to mail all these invoices, but instead we're going to fax them since our postage machine died. Just put them on here and press start.
Temp: Okay! Got it.

Temp begins faxing.

Employee: Um, you have to take them out of the envelopes first.

-

Employee, talking to a customer on the phone: It's great to hear a friendly face!

-

European: Did you just use the word "impetus"? I think you're the first American I have heard use that word.

-

Admin: I just ordered the pizzas, but I don't know if it's gonna get here. I kept telling them, "Our building is on Exalander Road," and they didn't even know where that was.
Boss: We work on Alexander Road.
Admin: I know, that's what I kept telling them. Exalander Road. But they had no clue.

Pet shop girls

9eadf66b14
Originally uploaded by pronto34.

i don't like animals and i don't have time for them. but if the pet store starts selling these bitches, i'll buy 1, maybe more and i'll spend a lot of time with them.

perfume. junk food. death. whose?

NSFW ... in a way. maybe not.

you've been waxed!

the next event should be Jennifer Aniston rushing to 42nd St. and burning the place down.