well, behave!

or else the human flesh search engine will find you, and ... well, read on.

being deported is not the end of the world

dingleberries

shows us why action movies are all fantasy.

It's somewhat striking that the terrorists' use of BlackBerrys "caught the anti-terrorist forces by surprise."

doesn't anybody anticipate this shit anymore? you're all waiting for a John McClain to rescue you?

uh oh! we've been outed!

rock for Allah!!!

Mumbai pics

WOW! let's get out of our real lives!

When Black Friday comes

When Black Friday comes I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it till I satisfy my soul
Gonna let the world pass by me, the Archbishop gonna sanctify me
And if he don't come across I' m gonna let it roll

When Black Friday comes I'm gonna stake my claim
I guess I'll change my name

=============================
I know, I know. Steely Dan's song is about the crash of '29. Sue me.

Ah, yes.

Great minds think alike. The LHC is bullshit. But not totally, according to Stephen Hawking.

Renowned British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking has bet 100 dollars (70 euros) that a mega-experiment this week will not find an elusive particle seen as a holy grail of cosmic science, he said Tuesday.

Note: The LHC broke down and repairs would mean that they would start colliding things in late 2009. The Higgs Boson is supposed to be the particle that gives other particles their mass. Which leads us to the question, Where did the Higgs get its mass? To solve that, we'll build the ELHC, the Even Larger Hadron Collider.

Apparently another scientist who thinks pouring money into the LHC is bullshit is Nobel Prize winning chemist Kary Mullis.

"Do we need to use billions of dollars to build machines that maybe will put a few of our rightfully treasured eggheads in touch with things so far from what can be engineered into useful items that only they will get a thrill out of finding them? Do we need to do this when there is an obvious threat over our heads, something falling right now onto our planet? Something big, heavy, and headed our way? Something that already has our number on it, a number we could read if we would just point enough telescopes out there to see it?"

From his book Dancing Naked in the Mind Field, 1998, published by Vintage.

abandon all hope!

DOD or alive

no more looking for UFOs eh? so they finally wised up?

ay, robot

do you right-wing assholes know about this? maybe you want to bomb him too eh? better late than never eh?

wonders of the modern world

of course, we need to see the pics

well, she could have saved herself the trouble 'cause right now there are two available Jersey boys that i know of.


update: hmmm, maybe not.

The AGU plays hardball

But offers a list of their demands so theyre not entirely shutting the door to further negotiations.


Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

I want this for Christmas, Santa

The Enertia electric motorcycle.

A good way to screw up your eyes.

Check out the top 20 optical illusions. Then schedule an appointment with your eye doctor.

And in our Uh-oh news for today

This can't be good. First a Democrat neocon as chief of staff and now this.

Kevin Werbach, an academic, is a member of two guilds in the world's most popular online game, playing under the name Supernovan Jenkins.

He has invested so many hours in the game that his "Tauren Shaman" character has reached Level 70, one of the higher ranks.

well, ladies ... not our fault.

Metallica goes shopping

all that money that they rightly earned fighting those damn pirates has been put to good use

space date

well, the point of having a bachelor pad, is to be able to bring someone back there and do things in private, ain't it?

So that's where I left my keys!

How silly of me.

Cuban missile crisis redux

Obama is really beginning to look a lot like JFK.

LA GUAIRA, Venezuela – Russian warships sailed into port in Venezuela on Tuesday in a show of strength as Moscow seeks to counter U.S. influence in Latin America. Russia's first such deployment in the Caribbean since the Cold War is timed to coincide with President Dmitry Medvedev's visit to Venezuela, the first ever by a Russian president.

The Japanese are no fun

Theyre parody-proof.

Since launching two weeks ago on Rakuten, a major Japanese web shopping mall, the Wishroom shop has sold over 300 men's bras for 2,800 yen ($30) each. The shop also stocks men's panties, as well as lingerie for women.

"I like this tight feeling. It feels good," Wishroom representative Masayuki Tsuchiya told Reuters as he modeled the bra, which can be worn discreetly under men's clothing.

The US to break up?

Why that hasnt happened since the Civil War!

Nov. 24 (Bloomberg) -- A professor at the diplomatic academy of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs said the U.S. will break into six parts because of the nation’s financial crisis.

“The dollar isn’t secured by anything,” Igor Panarin said in an interview transcribed by Russian newspaper Izvestia today. “The country’s foreign debt has grown like an avalanche; this is a pyramid, which has to collapse.”

Although one can't help but agree that the monetary system is indeed a gigantic pyramid scam that's bound to collapse. The professor however miscalculates. All the US has to do to fill the black hole the monetary system is creating is to invade another country.

And I ra-a-aaan, I ran so far awa-a-aaay. Couldnt get away. La-la-la.

On second thought...

Let's NOT hire the Indians.

BANGKOK, Thailand (CNN) -- Fourteen sailors are still missing from a Thai trawler that was sunk last week by the Indian navy as a suspected pirate ship, the vessel's owner said Tuesday.
Indian navy frigate INS Tabar

The Indian navy frigate INS Tabar was reported to have battled a "pirate vessel" last week.

...

Last week, India's navy reported that the frigate INS Tabar had battled a pirate "mother vessel" in the gulf November 18, leaving the ship ablaze and likely sunk. Wicharn said that vessel was his ship, which was in the process of being seized by pirates when it came under fire.

sound familiar?

in the guise of a scientific expedition, they're actually sending deep sea oil drillers to destroy the thing. 'cause its headed right at us.


BS detector, are you working?

don't blame me if your ipod starts crying

hold the ketchup!

well, kids have to eat, you know, especially after crashing into an old couple's car. that takes a lot of energy. yes it does.

The motherland doesnt run out of irony

Maybe we could export it.

Cloverfield 2

In which I revisit a comment I made about bullshit

In one of the posts on this here blog, my not-always-accurate bullshit detector raised red flags in various degrees of malodorousness about the report that Sarah Palin didnt know Africa is a continent and not a country. It turns out that there was indeed an off-chance that it wasnt bullshit. Or at least the odds that a government official, duly elected by the American people, wouldnt know that Africa isnt a country, are shorter than I have previously believed.

WASHINGTON (AFP) – US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday.

Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI).

the D-Bag express

eh???

everyone can have a bad hair day

peace dogs

Vatican forgives Lennon, Beatles for 'more popular than Jesus' remark.

what the report didn't say was the implication that the Vatican was also sorry for sending Mark Chapman to whack Lennon in 1980.

if you also look at the pic, i wonder what Vic Sotto was doing there (extreme right).

somewhere, Michael Bay is laughing.

the worm

what they didn't tell you what it wasn't a woman - it was Bill O'Reilly.

scientolywood

aren't they united already? Tommy Girl Cruise is already a 'respected' member. oh you meant 'science'.

got a question?

let me google that for you

Avast thar, matey, part deux

Who needs Blackwater? Let's hire India.

INS Tabar sank the pirate "mother ship" after it failed to stop for
investigation and opened fire instead, an Indian navy statement said.

Mother ship, eh? I think we need Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum.

warning to the fatties

Avast thar, matey!

Looks like the Blackwater guys are finding business in Iraq slow. Yo ho ho and a bottle of kickass.

"Blackwater Worldwide today announced that its 183-foot ship, the McArthur, stands ready to assist the shipping industry as it struggles with the increasing problem of piracy in [Somalia's] Gulf of Aden," the firm says in a statement. "

Pirates versus Mercs. Who you got?

wandering eyes

t'was just a matter of time

at least you're consistent. way to go, chinks.

dumber than dumbest

pay your bill, granny!!!

Hooray for rights!!

A crowd "asserting the right to be naked outside" appeared at the meeting of the volunteer advisory board, said Dewey Potter, parks spokeswoman. "This is how we learn and find out what people want," she said.

And in response to this clamor...

Seattle Parks and Recreation will drop its pursuit of a proposal that would make public nudity in parks subject to prosecution for criminal trespass.

I wonder when we'll get public officials like these, who uphold people's rights. Because really, that's one of man's fundamental rights: Life, liberty, and the right to be naked outside.

The guvmint knows where you are

So how come they still can't find Bin Laden?

Triggerfish, also known as cell-site simulators or digital analyzers, are nothing new: the technology was used in the 1990s to hunt down renowned hacker Kevin Mitnick. By posing as a cell tower, triggerfish trick nearby cell phones into transmitting their serial numbers, phone numbers, and other data to law enforcement. Most previous descriptions of the technology, however, suggested that because of range limitations, triggerfish were only useful for zeroing in on a phone's precise location once cooperative cell providers had given a general location.

Foo fighters!

One hundred and forty years years of UFO pictures.

The truth is out there.

Dont crap on Chomolungma, Sherpa exhorts

Such dedication to cleanliness.

Sherpa's team, during its month-long expedition, picked up 965 kg (2,100 pounds) of cans, gas canisters, kitchen waste, tents, parts of an Italian helicopter that crashed 35 years ago and remains of the body of a British climber who died in 1972.

In addition, his team also brought down 65 kg of human waste produced by its 18 members, which it handed over to a local environment group at the base camp for management.

Im sure the local environment group said, "Thanks a lot, buddy."

flatline

up next: Filipino World of Warcraft player slays officemates

come get some!

bless me father, for i have sexed.

Time Bandit ought to look at tequila futures

There's a fortune in them.

A method of producing synthetic diamonds using tequila - Mexico's favourite alcoholic drink - has been discovered, scientists there say.

any volunteers?? get behind me!!!

I miss the old Bond

The double-entendres, the one-liners, the fact that his suits never wrinkle even after a fight. The new Bond is just too... ordinary. I suppose Generation Y, steeped as they are in ultra-violent videogames, doesnt appreciate witty word-play any longer.

Anyway, here's a list of the best Bond one-liners.

If it smells like bullshit...

... it probably is.

It was among the juicier post-election recriminations: Fox News Channel quoted an unnamed McCain campaign figure as saying that Sarah Palin did not know that Africa was a continent.

Who would say such a thing? On Monday the answer popped up on a blog
and popped out of the mouth of David Shuster, an MSNBC anchor. “Turns
out it was Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain policy adviser, who has come
forward today to identify himself as the source of the leaks,” Mr.
Shuster said.

Trouble is, Martin Eisenstadt doesn’t exist. His blog does, but it’s a
put-on. The think tank where he is a senior fellow — the Harding
Institute for Freedom and Democracy — is just a Web site. The TV clips
of him on YouTube are fakes.

Fox News stands behind the story though. Hahahahaha!!!

i was only dreaming

The UK needs you!

Do your part to help the country that gave us the English language.

“The only countries that seem to have enough sperm are those that pay —
like the U.S. and Spain — or the countries that retain anonymity,” said
Allan Pacey, a member of the British Fertility Society that warned of
the shortage in the British Medical Journal.

so? girls do that all the time!

See? It IS a country!

Africa, that is. Chris Matthews said so.

Yeah, sue the sumbitch!

And while youre at it, sue America for eating Turkey during Thanksgiving without asking permission from your country.

In his lawsuit, Huseyin Kalkan, the
pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman, is accusing Nolan
and the studio of using the city’s name without permission.

“There is only one Batman in the world,” Kalkan said. “The American producers used the name of our city without informing us.”

don't be a dic!

well, if that happens, we'll join the resistance that never materialized during the Bush years.

the faces behind your fave cartoons

Jesus 40

40 depictions. time bandit has the 41st.

upgrade your Mac.

fly Ryanair!

The reason Obama won by a landslide?

Because he isnt George W. Bush. Duh.

President-elect Barack Obama is unlikely to radically overhaul
controversial Bush administration intelligence policies, advisers say,
an approach that is almost certain to create tension within the
Democratic Party.

Mr Gore, are you raising your hand?

holy crap! anybody wanna take them in?

bam!

no, of course they didn't buy those to shoot him. c'mon, guys!

i have no words.

in honor of Remembrance Day (in the UK)

Uh-oh

Change-dot-gov just, well, changed.

President-elect Barack Obama over the weekend scrubbed his transition
Web site, deleting most of what had been a massive agenda for his first
term that appears on his campaign's site.

Gone from Change.gov are the promises on how an Obama administration
would handle 25 agenda items — from Iraq and immigration to taxes and
urban policy — which the campaign first laid out on the Web site
www.BarackObama.com.

Welcome to the real world, Mr. Obama.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

Yeah, Bond, why dont you work on these?

James Bond is out for revenge in the new film, Quantum of Solace,
opening in the United States on Nov. 14. But here in the real world,
the intelligence community is badly in need of a superspy to solve some
of its biggest conundrums. Here are five missions we’d love Agent 007
to tackle.

sci-fi movie, or figurative definition of the state?

Kim Kardashian is the next ...

top gun?

hey, why not? t.b., her number is (555) 1234538...

just needs the proper training

here's your latest candidate for either the Marines, Delta Force or some supersecret black ops agency.

advice for the new US prez

when worse comes to worst

Becks is gay!!!!!!!!!

hotter than Palin?

Yulia Timoshenko, embattled Ukraine PM.


what, you thought i was gonna say Angela Merkel?

It's her fault!!

Looks like the Republicans are all set to throw Sarah Palin under the bus. Fox News has the knives out and are after Palin's ass.

Yeah, blame the chick for your failings. Idiots. Youve had 8 years of idiocy and youll blame your loss on the chick from Alaska.

hope the honeymoon lasts longer than post-9/11

didn't make headlines ...

... considering the event that happened the same day, but don't tell me they don't have his DNA locked away somewhere and ....

WHAT IS YOUR STATUS?!?

least effective ways to pick up a girl

Huh? Who??

Norman Black? Jack Black? Wadapak??

Philippine Daily Inquirer, grow the fuck up.

Yay, justice!!

Throw the book at em!

Two of three friends who jumped naked into Moosehead Lake last summer
for a free Skinny Dip sandwich at the Black Frog Restaurant in
Greenville were found guilty of indecent exposure Monday in 13th
District Court.

The court found that Bernard Beckwith, 31, of Poland and Christian
Simpson, 37, of Bethel knowingly exposed their genitals in a public
place under circumstances that likely caused affront or alarm to others...

Crystal Stilwell, 25, of Bath, who had accompanied the men in the naked jump for the free sandwich, was found not guilty.

Yeah! Fine the guys. Let the women expose themselves without fear of prosecution. In fact I would definitely support a law that uses taxpayer money to subsidize such actions.

putting the 'O' back in ...

who came what?

now that kind of blows the chicken or egg argument out of the yolk, does it?

i drink your frakkin' milkshake!

what we need to know is, how much of that goes to the pockets of Bush/Cheney conglomerate.

well, its either this or outright pillaging

these people have too much time on their hands.

With a little editing, this famous ad actually makes sense

so you know where to hide when a nuke goes off!

where are the superheroes when you need them?

how to talk to cops