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Created by OnePlusYou
Created by OnePlusYou
Monday, March 31, 2008
Comes now...
... the impending death of civilization.
"It is anticipated that this danger has far broader public
health ramifications than asbestos and smoking, and directly
concerns all of us, particularly the younger generation, including
very young children," Dr Khurana said in a research paper published
on the website brain-surgery.us.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Philippine politicians
email i got today...
A friend has been a Travel Agent for 30 Years. She says her 30 years of taking reservation requests from government officials explains why we are all in trouble.
Here's a few choice reservation questions from these bright people:
1) Senator Tessie Oreta asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed-up by being near the window.
2) I got a call from ex-Mayor Joey Marquez, who wanted to go to Capetown. Explaining the length of the flight and passport information, he interrupted me with, " I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. " Well, without trying to make him look like he was stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. Capetown is in Africa." His response ..(click).
3) Congressman Mark Lapid called, furious about a Florida package we did for him and his girlfriend then, tv star Kris Aquino. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain, that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!" So, he expected to see the ocean on both sides of the hotel?!!!!
4) Sen Ralph Recto's wife, actress & Batangas Mayor Vilma Santos asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She explained, "But they look so close on the map."
5) Senator Lito Lapid asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I noticed he had only an hour lay-over in Dallas. When asked why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
6) Senator Jinggoy Estrada (son of Erap) called last week. He needed to know how it was possible that his flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but he could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told him the plane went very fast, and he bought that!
7) Congressman Ronaldo Zamora asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" He replied, "Well, when I checked-in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude!" I looked into it and explained the city code for Fresno, California is F A T, and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8) Former presidential candidate, now tv star, Eddie Gil inquired about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over ALL the cost info, he asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and take the train to Hawaii?"
9) I just got off the phone with Senator Bong Revilla who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
10) Vice President Noli De Castro asked, "'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those twin engine planes?' I asked if he meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. He said, "Yeah, whatever!"
11) Congressman Dilangalen called and had a question about the documents needed to fly to China. I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't! I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." So, I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times, and everytime they accepted my American Express!"
12) Senator Miriam Defensor called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?' replied Miriam. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." Then Miriam retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "'That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
Now you know why the Philippine Government is in the shape that it's in.
A friend has been a Travel Agent for 30 Years. She says her 30 years of taking reservation requests from government officials explains why we are all in trouble.
Here's a few choice reservation questions from these bright people:
1) Senator Tessie Oreta asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed-up by being near the window.
2) I got a call from ex-Mayor Joey Marquez, who wanted to go to Capetown. Explaining the length of the flight and passport information, he interrupted me with, " I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. " Well, without trying to make him look like he was stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts. Capetown is in Africa." His response ..(click).
3) Congressman Mark Lapid called, furious about a Florida package we did for him and his girlfriend then, tv star Kris Aquino. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain, that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!" So, he expected to see the ocean on both sides of the hotel?!!!!
4) Sen Ralph Recto's wife, actress & Batangas Mayor Vilma Santos asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She explained, "But they look so close on the map."
5) Senator Lito Lapid asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I noticed he had only an hour lay-over in Dallas. When asked why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
6) Senator Jinggoy Estrada (son of Erap) called last week. He needed to know how it was possible that his flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but he could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told him the plane went very fast, and he bought that!
7) Congressman Ronaldo Zamora asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" He replied, "Well, when I checked-in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude!" I looked into it and explained the city code for Fresno, California is F A T, and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8) Former presidential candidate, now tv star, Eddie Gil inquired about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over ALL the cost info, he asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and take the train to Hawaii?"
9) I just got off the phone with Senator Bong Revilla who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
10) Vice President Noli De Castro asked, "'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those twin engine planes?' I asked if he meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. He said, "Yeah, whatever!"
11) Congressman Dilangalen called and had a question about the documents needed to fly to China. I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't! I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." So, I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times, and everytime they accepted my American Express!"
12) Senator Miriam Defensor called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?' replied Miriam. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am. I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." Then Miriam retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "'That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
Now you know why the Philippine Government is in the shape that it's in.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
after 300+ attempts
i've finally beat the most frustrating, most intense, and heart pounding level in COD4. whoo hoo!
Wait, what???
But you said!! We're about ready to ban incandescent light bulbs and all that.
Because the Academy recognizes the futility of asking Saint Al to return his Oscar.
Duffy asked [Jennifer Marohasy, a biologist and senior fellow of Melbourne-based think tank the Institute of Public Affairs.]: "Is the Earth stillwarming?"
She replied: "No, actually, there has been cooling, if you take 1998
as your point of reference. If you take 2002 as your point of
reference, then temperatures have plateaued. This is certainly not what
you'd expect if carbon dioxide is driving temperature because carbon
dioxide levels have been increasing but temperatures have actually been
coming down over the last 10 years."Duffy: "Is this a matter of any controversy?"
Marohasy: "Actually, no. The head of the IPCC (Intergovernmental
Panel on Climate Change) has actually acknowledged it. He talks about
the apparent plateau in temperatures so far this century. So he
recognises that in this century, over the past eight years,
temperatures have plateaued ... This is not what you'd expect, as I
said, because if carbon dioxide is driving temperature then you'd
expect that, given carbon dioxide levels have been continuing to
increase, temperatures should be going up ... So (it's) very
unexpected, not something that's being discussed. It should be being
discussed, though, because it's very significant."Duffy: "It's not only that it's not discussed. We never hear it, do we?
Whenever there's any sort of weather event that can be linked into the
global warming orthodoxy, it's put on the front page. But a fact like
that, which is that global warming stopped a decade ago, is virtually
never reported, which is extraordinary."
Because the Academy recognizes the futility of asking Saint Al to return his Oscar.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
more than green joke
so let's say Scarlett Johansson was an immigration officer ...
(for those without a NYT account, click here)
(for those without a NYT account, click here)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
message in a bottle
drunk US cities ... Austin clocks in at #7! the nigga probably raised the whole city to that rank by himself!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
some like it hot
banned Wendy's commercial headlined by that guy who played an ambassador from a unnamed Middle Eastern country in Season 6 of 24, not to mention Swami Bu.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
adam and the ants
so, what are you saying? they're just like us? for real?? get out!!!
though with the tagline "some offspring ... more likely to become queens", i thought they also become gay.
though with the tagline "some offspring ... more likely to become queens", i thought they also become gay.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
What a bunch of wimps
The marathon world record-holder said yesterday that he was unlikely to compete at the Beijing Olympics because China’s air pollution would damage his health.
...
A quarter of Britain’s top athletes suffer from exercise-induced asthma and some might wear face masks during training and competition [at the Beijing Olympics]. They include Paula Radcliffe, the marathon runner who succumbed to the heat before the finishing line in Athens four years ago. The mother of one has enlisted pollution experts in her campaign for her first Olympic medal.
Crybabies.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Mark Linn-Baker
Shia Labeouf
plastic fantastic. not.
ok, this one will make you lose your lunch, but anyway, there's the post below to look forward to!
spanning the globe
in the spirit of our much-missed feature, ISH, here's one for the lads! advanced happy St. Paddy's from all over the world! (may be NSFW ... just maybe)
qué es su gnombre
i was hoping it was a leprechaun, but wrong location, wrong creature. well, you make fun of it then.
The scum also rises
I beg your forgiveness, dear readers, for linking this blog.
Honestly, I dont know anybody on it (except for Tim Yap whom Ive heard of). Apparently theyre part of the creme de la creme of Philippine society, and if they indeed are, then we are screwed if these types are the ones who rise to the top. (Pond scum also rise to the top, I notice.)
I came across this from browsing blogs and apparently, a money-fueled lovers' spat has turned ugly and all hell is breaking loose in the enchanted little kingdom of La-la Land. Soap opera? You bet. A boring one.
Honestly, I dont know anybody on it (except for Tim Yap whom Ive heard of). Apparently theyre part of the creme de la creme of Philippine society, and if they indeed are, then we are screwed if these types are the ones who rise to the top. (Pond scum also rise to the top, I notice.)
I came across this from browsing blogs and apparently, a money-fueled lovers' spat has turned ugly and all hell is breaking loose in the enchanted little kingdom of La-la Land. Soap opera? You bet. A boring one.
Rock hall welcomes... Madonna
Ok, fine. I could think of a couple of artists who shouldve been inducted before her, but she'll get there eventually so why not now? Anyway, does anybody else think Leonard Cohen looks like Al Pacino? Wait, has anybody seen them together? No? I knew it!!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
ok, its already 2008 ...
... and we still can't field proper candidates. and we can't judge properly either.
and she won the World title!!!
i gotta hand it to Paolo Bediones. if iwas were the emcee, i'd be laughing like hell. sorry, but that's just the way it is.
and she won the World title!!!
i gotta hand it to Paolo Bediones. if i
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
buwayaz
F.U. a**holes ... we hope you get the death penalty! didn't you learn from Enron??
(even if they had nothing to do with it, being paid an obscene amount of money for doing shit is just totally wrong, and still deserves the death penalty)
(even if they had nothing to do with it, being paid an obscene amount of money for doing shit is just totally wrong, and still deserves the death penalty)
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monks? Luring women? Rape?
If you think this sounds like the old Roman Catholic scandals, think again.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Life
We've always marvelled that the earth had all the right ingredients for life to evolve and thrive. But was the earth suitable for life to form, or did life terraform the earth for itself?
The sky is not an ethereal, sterile realm. It's teeming with bacteria,
and scientists say that the microbes play a powerful role in producing
rain and snow.
you say you want a revolution?
mr. time bandit, take a sabbatical, book the flight, and have the summer of your life.
and when you come back this autumn, we expect to see pics of the Olympics.
and when you come back this autumn, we expect to see pics of the Olympics.