but the question is, did he spit on that pizza?

for those about to pee

for those in need

give me hope, Joanna!

electrifying

Jordan, Pippen and 5 other players explode at reunion. not really.

too bad for Amy Winehouse's manager

wow! there's hope for me!

Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot.

Hypocrite.

Former Cuban president Fidel Castro is criticizing Dick Cheney, the former U.S. vice-president, for defending interrogation methods used on terror suspects.

Youre all palayok.

the Pride of Rome: the Italian Stallion!

Limericks about nothing

There once was a man from Jakarta
Who claims he can make his dick harder
Than a diamond drill
Tis a singular skill
Wild horses could not tame his ardor

There once was a man, a New Yorker
Who likes doing things with his corker
He'd go out with a ho
Order french fries to go
And eats off her back as he porks her

There once was a blogger from Jersey
Whose exploits with birds are quite rare, see
But it's during those nights
Of pure sensual delights
That he shags them til they beg for mercy

Austin's pretty good to our homeboy
For not once was he home alone, boy
Every night on the town
Is a Texas hoedown
Some chick be polishing his chrome, boy

now if she were as popular as Anna K ...

huh. shouldn't man be on that list?

somebody's gonna lose it when he sees this.

business is down

here's a thought: discount prices, 2-for-1 sales, and frequent-user coupons!

forward to your partner. just in case.

the warm afterglow

well, they have to. global climate is a very complicated issue requiring intense, open-minded, innovative thinking which should only come from relaxed and happy participants.

losing your religion

maybe if the other religions were in charge and had money, they'd poke fun at themselves too. or be a bit self-critical.

yeah, after you effed it up.

dumb and dumberer.

twits

maybe the witnesses needed a Twitter account to actually realize what the hell they were witnessing?

Eh? What did you think it was before?

Some kind of spa treatment?

“It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that’s no joke,” Mancow said. “It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back… It was instantaneous… and I don’t want to say this: absolutely torture.”

$70 movie. take that, George Romero.

annoyed with your kids?

Steven Seagal has the solution for you!

everybody loves clowns, right?

don't worry, Republicans don't read this rag anyway.

killer queen

let me guess ... more reasons to denounce Western decadence and depravity, along with the repression of female rights.

2 girls, 1 sub

Thanks, Quiznos & Playboy.

hey ... laugh away.

because that's what the Internetz is for.

the truth behind nursery rhymes.

creepy places

let's start shooting movies here.

shit, i thought you got arrested!

are you a Twit? well then, here are your new friends.

problem with big hooters

no, you are NOT Lion-O! I AM Lion-O!

can't sleep?

this one's for you!

so, tell me you visited this place before you went home.

a fishy story.

N.E.R.D.

yes, you can still live even after you kick the bucket! this capitalist world will still make money from your ashes - hwahahahahahaha!

Sony hates the Internets.

proof that San Francisco will soon slide into the sea

well, if anything, you can get tips from the article. or not.

quick solution: make and bring your own coffee.

some just don't know how to quit

hypocrites. and lay off the mutt, jerks.

as to why MTV is still on air ...

... there really must be an audience, and they are dumb.

die die die!

next up: a food recession/health crisis

oh holy God, no.

the most obvious answer is ... Spider-Man!

parenting 101

well, you wouldn't want the kid to go to brothels by himself, would you?

oh, it was the real kind of cougar!

Mentos, the freshmaker!

Debbie Gibson's comeback performance!

They prolly use it as fertilizer

Bullshit, I mean. I have no empirical evidence to support my conclusion but this report just smells like bullshit.

And in one of those displays of astute observation and logic, 'officials' give us this gem:

The stronger marijuana is of particular concern because high concentrations of THC have the opposite effect of low concentrations, officials say.

Oh, snap! Their intelligence just blows me away. How do they do it?

Your tax dollars at work

So let me get this straight: You working stiffs bail out the fat-cats at GM so they dont have to fold and not fire workers, right? GM gladly accepts the money and plans to use it to buy Chinese cars so they can sell them to you? Tell me why you bailed them out in the first place?

f*k your health! we want your $$$!

o-ho-ho-ho! by proxy, Big Pharma is bullying ... cereal!

closing time

attention: psychos, rapists and killers! aren't you going to protest?

lighten up, O'Reilly!

why not? think of all the cool critters that could come out of it.

FSWay kayo ha!

shouldn't they use the money to er, set the girls up for proper educational training for alternative income-generating careers (e.g., nursing)?

More scientific bullshitery

Really, scientists? You dont see the utter absurdity of this?

Free will, or at least the place where we decide to act, is sited in a part of the brain called the parietal cortex, new research suggests.

When a neurosurgeon electrically jolted this region in patients undergoing surgery, they felt a desire to, say, wiggle their finger, roll their tongue or move a limb. Stronger electrical pulses convinced patients they had actually performed these movements, although their bodies remained motionless.

Let me get this straight. You jolt a part of the brain and they feel a desire to move something. How is that free will?

"What it tells us is there are specific brain regions that are involved in the consciousness of your movement," says Angela Sirigu, a neuroscientist at the CNRS Cognitive Neuroscience Centre in Bron, France, who led the study.

Right. And duh. There are specific regions in the brain that are involved in consciousness of movement. Explain again what this has to do with free will, please. Right now I am conscious of typing words for this post. It still doesnt answer the question of whether or not Im doing this freely or an unbroken chain of cause-and-effect events dating back to the big bang has rendered my typing these words inevitable. Your little experiment with electrecuting my brain has nothing to say about which option is true. In other words, this is bullshit.

To serve and protect... whom?

If you need further proof that the cops consider citizens as the enemy.

Fascists!

Aaa-aaaay, Spock!!

My little Plurk community has yielded us this gem that is NSFW, and if youre a Trekkie, might drive you to commit unspeakable horrors that will make Khan seem like a Care Bear.

so basically, we're just dumb. or evil. or both.

he actually refers to it as the iCock.

california, here we trump!

somebody got ... shall we say, services rendered. well, wouldn't you, if you got to see more than just pictures? nyahahahahahaha!!

but what if its the other way around?

yeah! how could she slap?

not all trash are created equal

too bad we can't do the same to dirty politicians, idiotic celebrities, rabid talk show hosts, greedy corporations, criminals, pedophiles, religious terrorists, and all the other useless scum of the earth you can think of.

Just to put things in their proper perspective

This 'swine flu' scam is still making the rounds, especially here in the motherland's sensationalist media, which just goes to show we'll believe any bullshit. In the meantime, deadlier killers mostly escape media's attention.

Since January, more than 13,000 people have died of complications from [regular] seasonal flu, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's weekly report on the causes of death in the nation.

And here is a list of killers that never make it to the evening news.

Are you farkin' kidding me??

The Nobel prize? G-o-o-oooooore!

During the past few years I recruited a team of more than 650 volunteers to visually inspect and photographically document more than 860 of these temperature stations. We were shocked by what we found.

We found stations located next to the exhaust fans of air conditioning units, surrounded by asphalt parking lots and roads, on blistering-hot rooftops, and near sidewalks and buildings that absorb and radiate heat. We found 68 stations located at wastewater treatment plants, where the process of waste digestion causes temperatures to be higher than in surrounding areas.

In fact, we found that 89 percent of the stations – nearly 9 of every 10 – fail to meet the National Weather Service’s own siting requirements that stations must be 30 meters (about 100 feet) or more away from an artificial heating or radiating/reflecting heat source.

In other words, 9 of every 10 stations are likely reporting higher or rising temperatures because they are badly sited.

It gets worse.

oldie but goodie

Caller: pwede mag request ng song?
DJ: What song?
Caller: Yung Compact Disc
DJ: Yes, we are now using compact discs to play over the air. What particular song would you like to hear?
Caller: Yes, can you play "Compact Disc"
DJ: I dont think we have that on our collection, would you mind singing a few line of it?
Caller: "Com-pact DISC! Tum-du-dee-dum, dee-dum, dee-dum"
(to the tune of MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This")

mrrrrrrrrraaooowwwwwww

no effing way? seriously!?

trustworthy? are you kidding me?

see, kids, this is why texting is evil.

not a scaredy cat

imagine if she was in the Space Shuttle (nsfw-ish)

dumbnessitousness is not an American thing

oh, you never heard of choking your chicken?

somebody needs to take self-defense classes

i still think someone made a deal with the Devil

opps! there goes free news and content.

forgive you, Father? for you have sinned?

reminisce during your early scarfing days

but does it cure you from swine flu???

Pacquiao kills two more

Imagine how many people wouldve died if it were a more exciting fight rather than a one-sided massacre that it was.

Update: Wait, what? Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra is Pinoy?

I bet Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra is watching this. Spo once told me he is the third most popular Filipino behind Manny and the lead singer of Journey.

Nice try, Spo. There's that chick from Pussycat Dolls, Apl de Ap from the Peas, and WWE superstar Battista. And as soon as The Neptunes come out with their next hit album, youll slide further down the list.

since the hype is building ...

... oh, screw it; you know who's #1.

bs meter, activate!

really? did Mozart, the Beatles and Usher learn Chinese?